The Craziest Sounding Dishes from the World’s Longest List of Specials

Credit: CollegeHumor

Ever listened to an endless list of specials at a restaurant—and then worry you won’t even be able to even place a friggin’ order because its description was as long and complicated as "Dante’s Inferno"?

CollegeHumor has delivered a genius twist on the experience, in which a waiter rattles off 13 specials. They start off fairly normal—“scallop with chorizo fennel in a coconut curry broth”—and head straight to crazy.

The weirdest-sounding specials from his list, in order, below:

1. “Parsled clams served over Machiavelli noodles.”

2. “Broiled swordfish steak lightly dusted w/ saffron and heavily abused, that’s with a side of pluff [sic].”

3. “Spaghetti boiled-naisse (homemade pasta served in boiled mayonnaise sauce).”

4. ”Anch-flou-salm-trout: Anchovy in a flounder in a salmon in a trout; it’s the turducken of the sea.”

5. ”Grilled duck with wabbit seasoning paired with roasted wabbit with duck seasoning; we call this one the hunter’s dilemma.”

6. “Fruited loops. That’s Cheerios mixed with a variety of artificial flavors and dyed one of many colors.”

Watch the video, in which one customer patiently waits through the whole ramble and politely responds to the last option, “I’ll keep that in mind. And do you have French fries?”

“We do not have French fries,” replies the waiter sternly.

[CollegeHumor via Huffington Post]