Troubleshoot Your Bacon
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What more can we say about bacon? Even vegetarians fall prey to its temptations at times. But for an ingredient so beloved, people muck it up way too often. We’re talking limp bacon. Burnt bacon. Soggy bacon. Bacon treated in ways unbecoming of the fine, fine ingredient it is.
Here’s how to avoid these classic bacon blunders.
1. Unevenly cooked bacon.
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Don’t you hate when half a slice of bacon is burnt to a crisp, but the other is floppy and undercooked? Try baking it in the oven instead of frying it to oblivion. This might be the easiest way to make perfect bacon: Just place the slices in a single layer on a baking tray, rev the oven to about 400 degrees Fahrenheit, and bake for about 20 minutes. (You could also try brushing it with some maple syrup at the end. Just sayin’.)
2. Burnt bacon.
Some people like their bacon slightly burned, but personally we don’t share that sentiment. To avoid burning, remember this credo: slow and steady wins the race. If you’re frying your bacon, that means setting your skillet over medium or medium-high heat and no higher. And don’t start with cold bacon; let it warm to room temperature, which helps the fat render more quickly.
3. Floppy bacon.
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Quit crowding your bacon! Doing that prevents the glorious strips from crisping up, which means gross, floppy, gross bacon. (Did we mention gross?) Seriously, give the slabs some breathing room.
4. Soggy Bacon
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Bacon is great and all, but that bilious, oily residue that slicks your throat afterward is totally not. Your bacon is soggy because you’re not cooking it long enough. Sure, burned bacon is awful. But isn’t soggy bacon worse? Give it some time to crisp up!
5. Weirdly thin bacon.
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Why settle for sickly little strips of anemic bacon when you can have thick, meaty slabs of salty, beauteous baconitude? Ditch the standard grocery store variety for thick-cut bacon. Your taste buds will thank you.
Follow these rules, and you’ll practically be a pro. No need to thank us; we’re just doing our jobs. No one should ever have to eat sad bacon.
