What The Big ‘C’ Taught Me: Don’t Give In To Fear
(Photo: Courtesy of Jodi Waterman)
I don’t think there is a word that evokes more emotion than the dreaded six-letter “C” word.
It is so feared that for many years it could only be whispered, not spoken aloud, as if saying “She has CANCER” meant you could catch it, or worse, that she would not survive.
Much has changed, but the C word still packs quite a serious punch, especially if it is directed at you.
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The C Word Hits Home
Two years ago, I had a small melanoma removed from my stomach. It was a tiny spot, removed in the doctor’s office, and then forgotten about. But I am not going to tell you that it didn’t shake me up, although by that point my life had been so dramatically changed by cancer that perhaps I was a bit jaded.
Six months prior to my diagnosis, my husband died from complications of non-Hodgkins lymphoma, a blood cancer. From the day he was diagnosed until his death almost exactly two years later, I learned the turbulent power of the C word. Cancer changes your world in virtually every way imaginable, and in ways that are like your worst nightmare. As a caregiver, I learned to be a patient advocate, a cheerleader, a secretary, a writer, a nurse, a maid, a cook, and a city driver — just to name just a few.
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I learned also that doctors don’t always know everything and certainly don’t have all the answers, but what many of them lack in absolute certainty they make up for in compassion and caring. I learned that nurses are the unsung rock stars, and that when your mind and body are completely exhausted, you still have the ability to give a little more when you need to. And I have learned that when cancer wins, you have two choices. You can give up and give in to grief and self pity and fear, or you can get yourself together and find the lessons in your experience.
After a Fog of Grief, a New Vocabulary
After about 18 months of living in a fog of grief and fear over what would become of me, alone and on my own, I decided to stop being another victim of the C word. I looked that word straight in the eye, and it taught me some amazing things.
Cancer, as horrible as it is, opens the door to many other C words. I have learned to have courage, beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. In fact, I have learned that I am capable of many things I never thought possible.
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I have learned to be compassionate, because everyone is fighting some sort of battle in their lives. I have experienced an incredible gift of clarity and a new commitment to life, learning to embrace every moment and every person in my life.
Many new doors have opened, and I am grateful that I have been able to step through every one. I have found my passion working in the nonprofit world, contributing to the fight against blood cancers with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in New York City. My career change has enabled me to embrace more C words, like communication, critical thinking, and collaboration, as we work to find cures and help patients and their families.
My experience with cancer, despite the loss and pain I endured, has been an incredible life-changing lesson about growth, persistence, strength, and endurance. Cancer has taught me how to rise up again, let go of what doesn’t matter, live in the moment, and cherish those I love. It has taught me how to open my heart, how to trust my journey, and to live life with fierce enthusiasm and grace.
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Those of us whose lives are touched by cancer in some way may never be the same. I believe we can be better, wiser, and kinder, all because of what we learned in the fight against the big C.
Jodi Waterman is a CPA with more than 25 years of financial management experience and a diverse industry background. She wrote a blog detailing her husband’s two-year illness with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Waterman is now the Director of Operations for the New York City Chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. She is also the Long Island Chapter Leader of Modern Widows Club, a national mentoring organization for widows, and is training to be a yoga teacher.
By Jodi Waterman, Special to Everyday Health
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This article originally appeared on EverydayHealth.com: What the Big ‘C’ Taught Me: Don’t Give In to Fear
