The #1 Lesson I Learned About Longevity From My Grandma Who Lived To Be 99

Leigh Weingus

November 21, 2023 at 8:35 AM·5 min read

Woman with her grandmother

As Parade's Health Editor, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to be healthier and happier. This is partially because my primary goal as an editor is to help our readers achieve exactly that—but also because health is really important to me personally.

I had three grandparents who lived well into their 90s. My mom's mom died three months before her 100th birthday. My paternal grandmother lived to be 92, and my paternal grandfather lived to be 98. This makes me think that, genetically, longevity is probably on my side. But it also makes me think that lifestyle had to play a role in how long they lived and that if I'm going to live that long, I want to make sure I'm still active and having a good time.

Because I had the privilege of knowing and regularly talking to three of my grandparents into my 30s, I asked them a lot of questions about longevity—and specifically, what choices they made that they thought helped them live longer and fuller lives.

Between what they told me and what I observed over the years, I learned a lot from them—and I think their lessons are too valuable to keep from you.

The #1 Lesson I Learned From My Grandma Who Lived to Be 99

When the low-fat craze came on the scene, my mom's mom didn't want anything to do with it. She believed food should be eaten in its original form if you wanted to live a long, healthy and happy life. So eat the real butter and eat the real sugar—just don't eat too much of the real thing, she said, and you'll be fine.

For that reason, you'll never catch me eating chickpea pasta (although I know some people love it, and it really is good for you!) or low-calorie bread. Don't even get me started on fake sugar! I'd so much rather slather my delicious slice of sourdough bread with real butter (wouldn't we all?) and I actually think doing this makes me eat less because I'm more satisfied.

Long story short: Eat the real food, and enjoy it. Just don't eat too much of it.

Related: If You Want to Live to 100, Aging Experts Say You Should Take Up This Hobby ASAP

3 Other Important Lessons About Longevity I Learned From My Grandparents

While the food lesson is the one I carry with me the most, that was hardly the only thing I learned from my grandparents. Other lessons include:

1. Prioritize community above all else

My grandparents on my dad's side (who were married for 72 years!) were always around each other, obviously. But they also spent a lot of time with their friends. As a kid, I remember the phone ringing in my grandparents' house before I was even awake and hearing my grandma talk and laugh with her friends until we eventually made our way downstairs for breakfast.

This didn't end as they got older. My grandparents both maintained close social ties with their friends, and they continued to make new friends wherever they went. Studies show that loneliness is highly correlated with serious health conditions, and I always think that their long lives had a lot to do with their close friendships.

Go to the doctor

My grandparents firmly believed in the power of medicine, and they never skipped their checkups. When something seemed off between visits, they called their doctor.

My father's mother had cancer a handful of times near the end of her life, but it was always caught very early. My father's father caught a heart condition in his 70s before it got too serious and was able to shift his lifestyle habits quite a bit and get healthier.

While going to the doctor isn't fun, there's a reason why checkups exist: they can save your life, and also help you live a very long one.

Find something to believe in

My mother's mother was a devout Catholic. While I can't say I consider myself religious, I was always in awe of her unwavering belief in God and admired her dedication to prayer.

According to the Pew Research Center, at least 175 studies have found that religious people tend to be happier and have greater life satisfaction. People who attend religious services also tend to live longer.

While I'm not saying religion is necessarily the key to a long and happy life, I think it helps to have something to believe in and to build a community around that thing. It's something I'm actively working on!

Longevity is a puzzle that doctors and researchers are still doing their best to understand. And while it's generally believed that about 25 percent of human life span is determined by genetics, that leaves another 75 percent that you have control over. That's pretty good, right? I certainly think so—and so did my grandparents.

Next up: The #1 Sign You're 'Aging Well,' According to a Geriatrician