10 Taylor Swift Songs That Reference Anxiety, According to Therapists
When experiencing feelings of anxiety, you might sniff some lavender oil or turn to a calming mantra to get through it. But for some of us, music is what soothes our souls, turning those jumbled nerves into a serene state as soon as the lyrics hit our ears.
While some people swear by classical music or Enya to diminish the jitters, others put on Taylor Swift. She’s no stranger to mental health references in her lyrics, and she often touches upon anxiety as a theme.
Whether you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or occasionally feel nervous, adolescent therapist Dr. Courtney Conley says that music is cathartic, adding that clients have told her that Taylor Swift’s song “Safe and Sound” (featuring The Civil Wars) helps calm their minds.
Dr. Jenna DiLossi, clinical psychologist with Minding Your Mind, says that frequently, music that speaks to what you’re experiencing in your life is comforting and validating—and that applies to going through anxious times.
“[Music] makes people feel less alone in their struggles and life experiences,” she reflects. “Regarding anxiety specifically, listening to music or playing music is often a prescribed coping skill by mental health professionals or one that people naturally choose in life.”
Alexa Bailey, LCSW, licensed clinical therapist, agrees that music is “a pretty cool regulatory skill” since it has the potential to quiet the central nervous system while lowering cortisol levels (the hormone that causes stress).
She goes on to say, “Sometimes, music may act as a distraction to take you out of the moment and focus on something else, and other times, it can ground you back into the moment, utilizing your senses—hearing, in this case—to soothe the nervous system.”
Dr. Conley says that anxiety can be a frustratingly lonely experience.
“When a musician or artist can put feelings into lyrics that resonate with people, it provides validation and comfort,” she explains. “You know you aren’t ‘crazy’ or the only one who is going through this struggle.”
With themes that are drawn from her own life to ones that pull from literary references, symbolism and imagery, Dr. DiLossi says that Swift has spoken openly in interviews about her anxiety.
“She has described herself as a worrier, people-pleaser, a ‘control freak’ and a perfectionist,” she observes. “The two most notable themes of anxiety throughout Taylor’s discography and stated in interviews relate to success in her career and love. She seems to fear failure in those two domains. Interestingly, these are the two most common sources of anxiety for most people.”
Sure, most of us don’t have to get on a stage in front of thousands of people to belt out songs and perform complicated dance moves, but we certainly have things that can give us a similar level of anxiety, like presenting a project at work or taking on a tough subject with a partner. As Dr. DiLossi says, Swift’s fears at their core are “very simple and human.”
And that makes so many of her songs relatable, especially if you’re dealing with anxiety. Here are 10 songs that reference anxiety, shared by mental health professionals who also happen to be Taylor Swift fans.
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10 Taylor Swift Songs That Reference Anxiety, According to Therapists
“Out of the Woods”
“But the monsters turned out to be just trees…"
"Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
In the clear yet, good.”
“Anxiety is like a common worry on steroids,” Dr. Conley remarks. “People with anxiety tend to overthink and turn everything into a potential problem. They get caught in the mind loop of trying to think about every possible negative outcome. ‘Monsters turned out to be just trees’ could be compared to this worry loop and constant negative inner dialogue people with anxiety experience.”
And the same goes for the repetitive chorus of this song too. Dr. Conley explains that these words allude to always feeling unsafe or uneasy and wondering when life will be alright.
“Dancing With Our Hands Tied”
“I, I loved you in spite of
Deep fears that the world would divide us
So, baby, can we dance
Oh, through an avalanche?
And say, say that we got it.”
This song nods to the anxiety that can surround a “secret love,” according to Dr. DiLossi, which she says is a common theme in Taylor Swift’s songs.
She says, “It raises the question in a relationship that causes many people to have anxiety: ‘Can we survive?’”
If the “secret love” theme doesn’t quite apply to you, Dr. DiLossi adds that the song also speaks to when you just have a bad feeling about something that you can’t put your finger on. “That feeling is usually rooted in some type of anxiety, uncertainty or a situation that you think might be risky,” she explains.
“Breathe”
“Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve…
And I can’t breathe without you, but I have to.”
Bailey believes that this song is suggestive of social anxiety, with signs of avoidance and trying to sidestep pain or discomfort, “and feeling the need that in order to feel okay, someone else has to be okay as well, a sense of outsourcing wellness, peace or calm to someone else and feeling hurt when it doesn’t work,” she says.
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“this is me trying”
“They told me all of my cages were mental…"
"And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound...”
“Anxiety holds people back from fully engaging in life,” Dr. Conley says. “There are things that people with anxiety want to do but feel as though they can’t because of their extreme worry over social interactions, what people think and all the possible negative outcomes of a situation. Anxiety is an exhausting experience.”
“peace”
“Our coming-of-age has come and gone
Suddenly the summer, it’s clear
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
And it’s just around the corner, darling
‘Cause it lives in me.
No, I could never give you peace.”
Representing Taylor Swift’s frequent theme of love meets anxiety, Dr. DiLossi says that this song highlights the anxiety of wondering if you will be enough for another person in the long run—flaws and all.
“The first set of lyrics highlights the perception of inherent risk and consequential anxiety that lies within a person,” she says. “This won’t go away, and it leads one to wonder, ‘Can you love me despite this anxiety and all of the other downsides that being in a relationship with me brings?’”
Dr. DiLossi adds that the lyrics also hint at this anxiety-inducing idea: “There are easier choices out there. Being with me won’t be easy. And do you love me enough to stay despite the hardship?”
“Dear John”
“And I’ll look back and regret
How I ignored when they said
‘Run as fast as you can’…
I should’ve known.”
Bailey notes that anxiety can cause a sense of distrust, and of overthinking your own actions and feeling uncertain.
She says, “In her words, you see the pattern of questioning come out, of feeling that she ‘should’ve known,’ an anxious person’s worst nightmare come true—because we feel we should be able to anticipate and predict any bad thing because of the scenarios we have thought through and ruminated over. But that’s the lie anxiety tells us—overthinking is actually helpful when truly what it does is steals us from the present.”
“Anti-Hero”
“I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
'Cause you got tired of my scheming
(For the last time)
It's me
Hi!
I'm the problem, it's me.”
In this song and its accompanying music video, it appears that Swift is taking on her own demons, and one of those very well could be anxiety. Dr. Conley says that for anyone, not just Taylor Swift, anxiety is frustrating because our mind treats everything as if it’s life-threatening.
“I hear people with anxiety talk about how frustrated they get with themselves because they know they are their own worst enemy, but they don’t know how to control it,” Dr. Conley explains. “It’s maddening knowing that the problem lies within but feeling like you can’t stop it.”
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“Haunted”
“It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now…"
"Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again.”
Bailey says that a lack of trust permeates this song, something that can start to present as panic, especially when you’re trying to steady yourself by holding onto your breath.
“Anxiety affects our ability to stay present and can bring up those physical symptoms of difficulty breathing, panic, hyperventilation, and even lightheadedness and passing out,” Bailey says as she reflects on these lyrics.
“evermore”
“I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone
Trying to find the one where I went wrong…"
"I rewind the tape but all it does is pause
On the very moment all was lost.”
Written in the midst of the pandemic, it’s no wonder that this Taylor Swift song seems full of anxious references. Dr. Conley says that these lyrics refer to the pain of constantly reliving a situation, experience or moment.
She elaborates, saying, “People with anxiety continuously replay these situations in their minds and think about what they should have said or done differently. Each time they replay the situation, they experience the negative feelings that come along with it.”
“Delicate”
“Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate.”
“This questioning indicates a sense of insecurity and worry, asking for reassurance and trying to walk on eggshells,” Bailey says. “In a new relationship, many of us show up ‘delicately’ like this in an effort to avoid rejection, betrayal and humiliation, which can be an anxious response.”
Next up, discover the Taylor Swift songs that reference depression.
Sources
Dr. Courtney Conley, adolescent therapist.
Dr. Jenna DiLossi, Clinical Psychologist with Minding Your Mind.
Alexa Bailey, LCSW, licensed clinical therapist.