12 Ridiculous Smart Products Absolutely No One Asked For
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Smartphones, intelligent adaptive devices and connected security systems have made an immeasurable contribution to the convenience of our daily lives. Smart technology is expanding every day, so it makes sense that other companies are trying to emulate the usefulness and success of these universally beloved smart devices.
The line between “making our lives better in ways we couldn’t imagine” and “the redundant mysteries man has wrought” is deceptively thin. The number of bizarre and expensive smart products on the market poses a few questions: Who asked for this? When am I going to use this? Why do I want this?
To better illustrate the difference between these two classes, we have tracked down some of the stranger and more ridiculous smart products out there. Here are some of the most confusing devices available on Amazon:
1. Smart Toilet
Generally speaking, a toilet is only as good as its ability to eliminate waste. Isn’t that enough, do we have to complicate the simple things in life? For the low, low price of $4,505, you can embrace the restroom of the future with a Kohler K-5401 Smart Toilet. This smart toilet is outfitted with a touch-activated interface that controls seat position, flush style, water temperature and bidet spray pattern.
See the Kohler K-5401 Smart Toilet on Amazon
2. Smart Water Bottle
At last, a smart product that helps regulate your biological processes. If you struggle with hitting your daily hydration target, it might be time for the Hidrate Spark Smart Water Bottle. This smart device tracks your water intake and flashes its LED lights when it hasn’t detected a big swig in a while. Whatever you do, don’t get this smart water bottle wet — it might turn into an expensive dumb water bottle, and who wants that?
See the Hidrate Spark Steel Smart Water Bottle on Amazon
3. Smart Insoles
You’re on the green with your golf friends, about to go deep when the unimaginable happens: everyone makes fun of you for your poor gait pattern and bodyweight imbalance. As humiliating as this universal experience may feel to you, we have made tremendous technological advances in the field. Salted Smart Insoles connect to the company’s golf training app, tracking your pressure points and bodyweight movement to ensure a smooth drive that commands respect from everyone on the course.
See Salted Smart Insoles on Amazon
4. Smart Nightstand
Compared to other smart products, a smart nightstand with a media center, speaker system and cooler drawer looks functional and useful. Once your toilet starts glitching due to outdated firmware, what do you have to lose? Either your home is so large that you can’t bear the prohibitively long trek to the refrigerator, or you need to double or triple up on furniture functionality to fit everything in your tiny studio space.
See the SOBRO Smart Nightstand on Amazon
5. Smart Shower
Haven’t you heard? Rainfall showers are old hat — the smart shower economy has moved on to a more robust variety of precipitation styles. Cascada’s aptly named Luxurious Shower System uses a thermostatic mixing valve system for quick and precise temperature control. You can choose from four different types of rainfall — mist, water curtain, rainfall and waterfall. The “hail” and “thunder” modules are still held up in research and development, but they’ll be industry standards before you know it.
See the Cascada Smart Shower System on Amazon
6. Smart Litter Box
Dogs are children who don’t know the meaning of shame. Cats, however, are little roommates who feel as entitled to your home as you do. They might be allowed to enter your bathroom on command, but your feline friend deserves more privacy. Save your cat the indignity of breaching their personal restroom with the PetSafe Self-Cleaning Litter Box. This “self-cleaning” system tracks the frequency of your cat’s visits and uses disposable trays of crystal litter that can be quickly removed and replaced.
See the PetSafe ScoopFree Automatic Litter Box on Amazon
7. Smart Beer
The world isn’t quite ready for K-Cups full of hops and grains, but we are getting closer every day. In the meantime, you can emulate the “fresh from the tap” flavor and velvety beer head of a fresh one from the pub with a TapDraft beer dispenser. This beer pouring tool uses a sonic emitter to revive the C02 present in your brew, plus it doubles as a vacuum-sealed canister for easy storage. If that sounds like a lot of work, you can always stick to shaking the can that your beer came in.
See the Smart Planet TapDraft Beer Dispenser on Amazon
8. Smart Paint Roller
Using Wagner’s PaintStick EZ-Twist, you can work smarter and not harder. Why break your back painting your home when you can omit the tray and can in favor of a fancy paint gun? The handle can hold up to 18oz of paint which feeds directly into the roller. When you’re finished, simply release the paint back into the can.
See the HomeRight PaintStick EZ Twist Applicator on Amazon
9. Smart Bed
The quality of a good night’s sleep cannot be understated. Getting a reliable amount of daily rest improves your intelligence, so why not buy a smart bed so you can get some smart sleep to become smarter? All told, $600 is a small price to pay for a life of the mind. The iDealBed 3i offers head and foot articulation controlled by an ergonomic remote for smooth, quiet repositioning. Larger models even come with a split-center, so you and your bedfellow can embark on your unique intellectual journeys together.
See the iDealBed3i Custom Adjustable Base on Amazon
10. Smart Popcorn
Everything else on this list is a smart device, but that simplistic qualifier is an insult to the DUTUI popcorn machine — this snack food dispenser is intelligent. Using intelligent memory design, the machine shuts off automatically when your popcorn is popped to perfection, plus you can customize the temperature and pop-time based on your personal popcorn preferences. To figure out your perfect intelligent popcorn settings ahead of time, try messing with the time and power settings on your microwave. It’s the exact same mechanic, and doing it right might even save you $1,300 on an intelligent popcorn machine.
See the DUTUI Intelligent Popcorn Machine on Amazon
11. Smart Pot Stirrer
Stirring a pot with your own two hands is base and provincial, no matter how much love and care you put into it. It wouldn’t be your meal if you let someone else take over, so why not automate the task by placing a stand mixer directly in the middle of your pot? Sadly, you are still responsible for any mess that your pot-stirring robot makes.
See the HTI 3-Speed Automatic Kitchen Stirrer on Amazon
12. Smart Wine
As a classy adult, people expect you to care about things like tannins, vintage and “letting it breathe.” Your palate may be too fine for the indignity of wine that comes from a spigot attached to a bag, but don’t you miss the thrills and spills of an effortless pour? Enjoy the best of both worlds with a Higfra Electric Wine Dispenser, which conveniently doubles as an aerator and decanter spout.
See the Higfra Electric Wine Aerator on Amazon
More to consider:
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