The 13 Things School Teachers *Absolutely* Wish All Parents Knew
When we, as parents, drop our kids off for school, we want them to have fun and excel. We want their peers and teachers to see and love them as we do. But a parent's love is simply different—and so is their place in a child's life. Teachers can see children in different ways and offer fresh perspectives. So, it's not really surprising that there are 13 things teachers wish parents knew.
"Teachers see kids in a very different environment than parents," says Katelyn Rigg, M.Ed, a literacy and ready specialist and founder of LiteracyLearn.com. "A home environment can be very different from a classroom environment."
One potentially significant difference is rules. For example, the school may be more structured—being late for lunch hour may be frowned upon in school, whereas at home, schedules can fluctuate.
"Some teachers may be strict, while parents may be lenient," Rigg says. "If there isn’t a consistency between home and school, then some children may struggle with expectations."
Finally, children may behave differently at school. Some parents may be pleasantly surprised to learn their rambunctious child is a "pleasure to have in class." Other times, a child may act out in school and follow the rules at home.
"Social pressures, work ethic and independence are all factors which present themselves differently in situations," Rigg adds.
Ultimately, parents and teachers have the same goal: to see children succeed. So, now that we're back to school, education experts with classroom experience share the things they wished parents knew.
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13 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew
1. We're on the Same Team
Children have the best chance to thrive when teachers, parents and other caretakers work together, says Karen Aronian, Ed.D., a former New York City public school teacher and founder of Aronian Education Design LLC.
This means taking an active role in your child's education after dismissal.
"Parents must thread the needle after school and oversee homework," Aronian says.
Dr. Ruslan Slutsky, Ph.D., professor of early childhood education at The University of Toledo Judith Herb College of Education, agrees.
"When parents stay engaged and active, it motivates kids to do better in school because they see the value," Dr. Slutsky says. "Their parents are talking about it…they come to the classroom with a different motivation.”
Ask any coach or athlete, and they'll tell you communication is critical. That goes for parent-teacher relations too.
"Communicate significant changes that happen at home—divorce, death of loved one or move—and can affect a student's performance," Aronian says.
These insights can help teachers approach a child's education empathetically. They can also point you or your child toward on-campus support, such as a school therapist.
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2. Books Are Powerful
Technology has provided ways to stay in touch and entertained. But educators share that reading hard copies of books is still essential.
"I wish parents knew just how important it is to read to their children," Rigg says. "Parents need to understand that research has shown that reading to children has numerous positive effects, including building strong vocabulary and rich background knowledge."
For example, a 2019 study showed children whose parents read one picture book to them daily were exposed to an estimated 78,000 words annually.
Make it a habit—it doesn't have to break the bank.
“Have a routine like a book read before bed," Dr. Slutsky says. "I know books can be expensive, but you can go to the library...We spend so much time engaged in technology, and literacy has taken a backseat.”
3. Engagement Can Be Free
Parents are constantly spammed with ads for play kits, toys and other tools that promise to speed up development. And they can be helpful, but experts share you don't need to fill your home with stuff to help your child thrive.
"Talk to your kids," Dr. Slutsky says. "It helps literacy and language."
Dr. Slutsky says you can play games when in the car. When he drove his children home from preschool, he'd have them count how many blue cars they saw in a minute. As children grow older, asking them to tell you how much something costs at the grocery store reinforces math skills. They can even add up prices to estimate how much the total bill will be.
"Things like that, really basic things, help," Dr. Slutsky says.
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4. Speak Positively
You may have heard negative opinions about a teacher, or perhaps the educator rubbed you the wrong way at a parent-teacher conference. A filter is your best friend.
“When parents speak positively of teachers and show respect, that says to the child that the teacher is competent, smart and caring…it sets a tone for respect from student to the teacher," Dr. Slutsky says.
5. Two Words: Sugar and Sleep
If your child is struggling in the classroom or behaviorally, you may want to consider evaluating lifestyle, mainly sugar intake and sleep.
"I wish more parents would realize that a healthy diet and enough sleep can significantly improve impulsivity and behavior in the classroom," Rigg says. "So many kids walk into classrooms with fruit punch and bags of chips for breakfast. Many of my students stay up too late playing video games or watching movies. This is the perfect combination for kids to get out of control and cause disruptions in the class."
Rigg suggests sending children with water and fruit. The CDC has age-appropriate sleep guidelines:
Ages 3-5: 10-13 hours per 24 hours, including naps
Ages 6-12: 9-12 hours nightly
Ages 13-18: 8-10 hours nightly
6. Mistakes Are OK To Call Out
You may be surprised to learn about your child's behavior or academic performance. But that doesn't mean the teacher's opinion or insights aren't valuable—or valid.
"Sometimes, parents blame teachers for the way their children are reacting," Dr. Slutsky says. "They say, ‘I don’t see that at home.’”
But Dr. Slutsky says your child may be using school to test boundaries. Teachers know no one is perfect—including your child—and wish parents did, too.
"Kids will make mistakes, and that’s OK," Rigg says."If we call kids out on their mistakes, it doesn’t mean we don’t care or don’t love them. Parents need to understand that their child’s mistakes can be turned into valuable learning experiences to grow from."
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7. Don't Kill the Messenger
Along the same lines, it's challenging to hear something critical about your child.
Aronian empathizes, "It can be hard to hear critical things about your children; you may want to respond immediately and emotionally; however, it's important to pause," she says. "Often, a teacher's constructive heads up is a crucial call to action to intervene with a child's development. The earlier a family seeks assistance, the earlier a cognitive or special needs challenge can be remediated."
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8. Follow the Chain
If your child is struggling, including with a relationship with a teacher, don't go straight to the top.
"Bring your issue to your teacher first before you take the concern up the chain of command," Aronian says. "Teachers want to make it right and hopefully not have the department chair or principal intercede."
9. Do the Math
Research shows that the average public school class size in the U.S. is 24 students. The student-to-teacher ratio in public school classrooms is 16 to 1.
"One teacher cannot personalize education for each and every student, even with the help of paraprofessionals and assistant teachers," Aronian says.
Aronian stresses that these ratios emphasize the importance of parents playing an active role in their child's education. They can also look into community resources.
"If you can't co-teach, consult with your teacher to find a tutor or mentor to help," Aronian says. "Many schools and community service organizations—the YMCA and Boys & Girls Clubs—offer students free academic support/tutors."
10. Teachers Are Always Thinking and Learning
Though their job is to teach, educators also prioritize learning and evolving. Why? Because they care deeply about your child.
"Teachers are always working on lesson planning, experiments, figuring out ways to adapt and adjust language arts and math for students falling behind," Dr. Slutsky says.
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11. Respect Their Boundaries
Apps and emails have made it easier than ever to communicate with teachers 24/7. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And if you do fire off a long message in Brightwheel at 11 p.m., respect that the teacher may not respond until the next day.
"Teachers have a lot of internal and external school obligations that go unseen: teacher meetings, coaching, club advising, continuing education, departmental work, grading and lesson plans to prepare," Aronian says.
They may be in the parenting trenches too.
"Teachers have family and personal responsibilities and must ensure their family's homework, laundry, pets and meals are provided for," Aronian says.
12. Yes, They Have Summer Vacation
Teachers may work a summer job or engage in professional development. But yes, the rumors are true: They often take some time to themselves in the summer. Guess what? Your child benefits—and so do teachers, and there's no shame in that.
"The school year is a long year," Dr. Slutsky. "Some years, the classroom runs really well. In other years, it’s more challenging. You need two to three weeks to decompress…we’ve come to an understanding of student mental health. We don’t pay enough attention to teachers' mental health. We’re under a lot of stress."
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13. Small, Kind Gestures Add Up
Teacher burnout is real.
"Teachers are overworked, underpaid and burning out quickly," Rigg says.
But small acts of kindness can make a big impact.
"Having the support of parents and families means the world to us and helps us to remember why we do what we do," Rigg says. "Parents can do small things to show they support teachers like sending an encouraging email, bringing in a coffee, or volunteering to help with classroom tasks."
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