People Are Opening Up About What It Was Like To Date The "Funny One," And Unfortunately, The Jokes Were NOT Landing
I can only imagine that most people want to be with someone with a good sense of humor. But when that humor turns more into an annoyance or a way to avoid what's really wrong, that's when problems arise.
So, when Reddit user u/Professional-Fox3722 posed the question, "What was it like dating the 'funny one'?" in r/AskWomen, I knew it wasn't going to be a bunch of clowning around:
1."It was amazing at first. He was super funny and super charismatic, and everyone loved him. But he was awful in bed and had zero idea how to be a good boyfriend. He made a lot of mistakes and then brushed them off like they were nothing."
2."I date almost exclusively funny people. It's just the #1 most attractive trait to me, probably because I was raised in a household where humor was highly valued. It's great. Having a partner who makes you laugh is life-changingly wonderful."
"It’s just important to ensure that you’re compatible in more ways than just humor. That’s a mistake I’ve made many times. My now-spouse is very funny and very kind, caring, smart, thoughtful, etc. I’m glad I held out for the whole package."
3."Picture being in a very serious argument or discussion with your partner and they just crack a joke in the middle of it. He laughs, and you end up giving in and laughing, too. The purpose of the argument ends up diminishing, and nothing changes or comes from it."
"Now think about this happening throughout the wholeee relationship. Yeah. It might seem like a green flag for a guy to be light-hearted and want to de-escalate arguments and crack a joke, but that can quickly turn into the inability to take anything seriously. It just becomes annoying after a while."
4."The guys I dated who were 'very funny' were usually overcompensating for something. One of them was immature and terrible in bed, and the other suffered from depression. So now I go for guys who have a decent sense of humor but don’t feel the need to be the funniest in the room."
5."The jokes, lightheartedness, nonstop conversation, and perpetual laughter were good until they weren't. I used to love how he could entertain anybody in the room, how he could float seamlessly between groups and conversations, and how he always seemed so secure socially. But the flip side was that he always had to make a funny comment in every situation, even when it wasn't needed or appropriate."
"He refused to take things seriously and instead gaslit me for 'always making a big deal about stuff.' He was uncomfortable with silence, whether it was just us, a group of friends, or even a big gathering. People around us got pretty sick of it but were too polite to say anything to his face. Ironically, the things that attracted me to him in the beginning were the things that contributed heavily to our breakup in the end. As other posters said, dating the 'funny one' can be exhausting if he doesn't have boundaries."
6."Well, it definitely kept things interesting and entertaining. I never knew what hilarious comment or joke would come out next, and it always made me laugh. But on a serious note, I also appreciated that my partner had a great sense of humor and could make light of any situation. We had a lot of fun together and were able to connect on a deeper level through laughter."
7."I married the funny one. I love laughing. A sense of humor is an absolute must. But if I need to have a serious conversation and all my guy can do is make jokes instead of helping with solutions, we are fast-tracking to a bitter breakup. That was my ex. He was a class clown and the loudest person in any conversation; he always had to have the last word. I mistook it for confidence once upon a time."
8."Outwardly, he was funny, affectionate, and had a knack for being the life of the party. However, behind the scenes, he was constantly battling his own demons and taking it out on his only 'safe' person. I don't think he's winning that fight to this day."
9."I've been dating him for two years, and we're about to move in together. First, there's a difference between someone who thinks they're funny and someone who actually is. He's a nerdy voice actor/stunt guy so he's excellent at articulating and presenting his humor. He also has a quieter personality, so he isn't 'on' all the time and annoying. Good things still need balance."
10."The funny one always took the spotlight. When someone would pay attention to me to make conversation or ask a question, the 'funny one' would jump right in, take the attention off me, and make me seem like a mute. I've had many people ask if I was antisocial or just shy. I'd explain that I'm actually social and enjoy talking, but it's hard when the 'funny one' would take the attention off me and make me feel like I have his attention only and no one else got to have it."
11."It can be exhausting, especially if they constantly need attention. I've learned the hard way that when some guys say they want a funny partner, it really means a partner that 'thinks I'm funny.' If they perceive you as funnier, they get very insecure about it. I've dated guys who were big on Twitter for making funny jokes, and it was such a turn-off when I discovered how often they stole jokes from other people, including me."
12."My current girlfriend is seriously one of the funniest people I have ever met. There is constant laughter and playfulness in our relationship, and I truly love and cherish it. I love that we can alternate between being a little childish and being able to put on our big girl pants and handle everyday life and responsibilities together. And not only that, she's incredibly gorgeous and stylish."
And finally, this person shared their experience as honestly and simply as they could:
13."Exhausting. So fucking exhausting. Like, shut the fuck up for five minutes, my dude."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Have you ever dated "the funny one" and want to share your experience? Let me know in the comments!