14 Phrases to Instantly Lift Someone’s Spirits, According to a Therapist
Woman comforting her friend.
For decades, statistics have shown that 1 in 5 adults deal with mental illness every year—and according to the National Alliance on Mental Health, 2023 is no different. On top of that, one in every 20 adults experiences symptoms of a serious mental illness every year. Mental illness doesn’t just affect adults, though. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for kids and teens aged 10-14.
Despite the high rates of mental illness in the U.S., many people don’t have access to the mental health treatment they need. Instead, communities, friends, and family provide the support people need to get by. Even if someone is seeing a therapist, these support systems act as a way to help someone through tough times. In my experience, this setup helps achieve the best results for their mental health. But many people question how to best comfort someone.
Comfort often comes through conversation, but finding the right words can be hard when someone you care about is feeling down or dealing with depression or anxiety. Approaching these conversations with empathy and patience is critical to assuring your friend or loved one that you’re a safe space for them to express their emotions. Let’s explore some of the best phrases to lift someone’s spirits.
Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
What Is the Best Way To Lift Someone's Spirits?
When you’re around someone who’s feeling down, it’s natural to immediately want to start comforting them by hugging them, offering them their favorite food or trying to help them solve whatever problem is making them upset. But trying to come up with the best solution to lifting someone’s spirit may not be the most optimal use of your time.
So, what can you do? Just listen to them! Most of the time, people just want to know someone is willing to hear their perspective. However, just sitting next to them while they talk isn’t enough. If you want to avoid them feeling like they’re talking to a brick wall, start practicing active listening, which is where you make a concerted effort to comprehend and retain what you hear. It shows you’re invested in what they say and care about it.
Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm Your Inner-Critic, According to Therapists
14 Phrases To Lift Someone's Spirits
While the best approach to lifting someone’s spirits is unique to their situation and personality, a few proven phrases are universally effective in providing consolation to your loved one.
1. “How can I help?”
Asking if someone needs help is one of the first reactions we usually have when we see someone struggling. It lets people know you’re willing to support them, especially when you ask how you can help rather than just offering assistance. But don’t be discouraged if they say no. Sometimes, a person might want you to listen, but they don’t need you to take any action.
2. “It’s OK not to be OK.”
Have you ever felt pressure to “fake it till you make it” or “act the part” when you feel unsure and uncomfortable about something? If so, you know what it’s like to feel like you have to hide your feelings to get through a situation. Telling someone that it’s okay not to be okay validates their feelings and struggles, letting them know they don’t need to pretend they’re fine when they aren’t.
3. “I love you.”
“I love you” is one of the most important things you can say to someone you value. Love is not only central to the success of both platonic and romantic relationships; oxytocin, the love hormone, makes you feel secure and calm—lifting your spirit. However, these three words aren’t something to throw around lightly. If you love someone, mean it.
4. “I’m here for you.”
This phrase is more than a version of the Friends theme song; it’s one of the most common things to say to lift someone’s spirits. In some ways, this phrase is more impactful than saying “I love you” because it represents a more tangible feeling of support. Telling someone you’re there for them lets them know that you’ll show up in times of trouble, giving them confidence that you’re a reliable person to count on.
Related: 35 Powerful Phrases When You Need Emotional and Spiritual Repair and Relief
5. “My support is unconditional.”
Nothing is worse than feeling like someone’s support is conditional, like when they tell you how to act, feel, or think to please or earn their love. Emphasizing that your support isn’t dependent on any of those things helps lift a person’s spirits because they know you accept them just as they are.
6. “Let’s go do something.”
Regardless of what’s upsetting them, distraction is usually the first coping mechanism people turn to to temporarily shift their attention away from their troubles. When you offer to spend time with them, whether that’s doing an activity they like or eating their favorite meal with them, you’re giving them a mental break from the distressing thoughts, emotions or behaviors they’re experiencing.
If the sadness is causing them to lose motivation, just being in the room with another person can help them complete tasks. This is called "body doubling," and is a great way to deal with anxiety or trouble concentrating for neurodivergent people.
7. “I appreciate you.”
Do you have a friend who’s always doing thoughtful things for you? What about a romantic partner? It makes you feel valued, like the person cares about your well-being. Expressing your gratitude for someone who helps you validates their actions, strengthens the bond between you two and lifts their spirits. Although it seems like a simple act of appreciation, it can go a long way in making someone feel valued and respected when they’re feeling down.
8. “You’re doing great—I’m proud of you.”
A little praise is always good, especially when dealing with depression, anxiety or stress. High amounts of stress can wear on you, making it hard to remain motivated to do what you need to get done. When you say you’re proud of a friend, you give them the encouragement and affirmation they need to boost their confidence.
9. “I’m praying for you,” or “I’m sending you good vibes.”
For many people, spirituality and faith help to improve their mental health. In times of stress, praying, reflecting, or other methods of connecting with a higher being opens the door to ease overwhelming sadness. Prayer is also seen as a means of supporting others, so letting your loved ones know you’re thinking of them this way is comforting and uplifting.
10. “Do you want to talk?”
We’ve all had moments where we wish to unload what’s on our mind to someone else. While journaling helps, nothing beats having a heart-to-heart conversation with a best friend or close family member. This reduces loneliness and lets the person who needs to vent know they’re in a supportive, safe space to openly share their thoughts and feelings. Plus, internalizing how you’re feeling only leads to prolonged depression and chronic stress.
11. “Today is only one day compared to the rest of your life.”
Sometimes, separating one bad day from the rest of your life is hard. If you’re trying to support someone struggling with their mental health, it’s important to remind them that today won’t last forever and that nothing is permanent. Emphasizing the temporary reminds them to think about the brighter days ahead. You can also encourage loved ones to take a mental health day (if possible) when feeling down.
12. “You are strong,” or another empowering statement.
Empowering someone who’s down can boost their self-esteem and self-worth, making them feel more capable of accomplishing their struggles.
Some examples of empowering statements are:
“Your past does not define you.”
“You’re stronger than you know.”
“You can achieve whatever you set your mind to.”
“You’re in control of how you handle this situation.”
13. “I can understand why you’d feel that way.”
Supporting someone sometimes means simply validating their feelings. By saying, “I understand why you’re feeling how you’re feeling,” or another variation of that statement, you make them feel heard and less alone in their struggles.
Related: 15 Surprising Signs That Mean You're Likely an Empath, According to Psychologists
14. “Do you need other types of support?”
Another simple way to lift someone’s spirits is to ask them if they need other types of support besides conversation and comfort. Whether that’s helping them find a therapist, buying them groceries or giving them a ride somewhere, alleviating stressful tasks off someone’s plate (within reason) can make it easier for them to process their emotions.
If you or someone you know needs more support to uplift spirits, consider seeking mental health treatment. Talking with a therapist can give you the freedom to work through difficult times in your life or vent to a nonjudgmental person in a safe space. Check out online directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy to find a nearby provider.
Next: 16 Things People With a Really Positive Outlook on Life Often Say, According to a Psychologist
