15 of the Most Undeniable, Tell-Tale Signs You're Falling Out of Love

Maryn Liles

March 4, 2023 at 5:03 AM·8 min read

These red flags could mean that you're no longer in love.

We all want to be in a relationship and find the person we can have our happily ever after with. But sadly, falling out of love is commonplace and not all relationships are meant to last forever.

Once you realize the magic has begun to fade in your relationship, how do you know if it’s just a phase you’re going through or if you’ve fallen out of love with them?

Sometimes, a relationship can slowly start to dwindle and falling out of love signs can take a while to become clear–so how do you know if you're falling out of love with someone or if you're just in a rut? To help you figure out if your feelings are just a result of a fight you had with your SO or if they are more serious falling out of love signs, read through this expert relationship advice below.

We tapped three relationship experts for their top falling out of love signs, and here are 15 signs you're falling out of love that you should be aware of. If you find yourself relating to a majority (not just a couple) of the signs, it’s not too late to change where your relationship is going. You can always try to fix the things that you’ve noticed have changed in your relationship. However, if you realize that you’ve been experiencing these warning signs for way too long now, it could be a hint that you need to go your separate ways.

15 Signs You're Falling Out of Love

1. You don’t worry about them as much.

When you’re in love, you can’t imagine living without that person, which is why you worry about them constantly, especially if they are late coming home or they haven’t returned a call in a long period of time. However, when you’re over someone, you aren’t as emotionally attached and those things that used to make you wonder and worry don’t as much.

2. You’re no longer proud to be with them.

If you realize you are more embarrassed or ashamed to be associated with your partner, your mind has already checked out of the relationship. Not thinking, “That’s my boyfriend/girlfriend!” and instead thinking something like “Uhhh, yeah that’s my boyfriend/girlfriend…” indicates you’re not proud to be with them.

3. You're constantly comparing them to others.

A sure sign you're falling out of love? "You find yourself comparing them to every potential you could have if you weren’t with them," says relationship expert Rachel DeAlto who appeared on TLC's Married at First Sight. "You begin to believe that any relationship could be better than the one you’re in."

4. Physical intimacy is a thing of the past.

Being in love with someone means you’re attracted to them, which leads to physical intimacy—so if you stop wanting to have sex, it could be a sign you're falling out of love, says Lisa Concepcion, a certified professional life coach and founder of LoveQuest Coaching. "When we are physically healthy, attracted and in love, we want sex," she explains. "However, when we're physically healthy, and falling out of love, we stop feeling amorous—more like a friend and the sex falls off."

5. You don’t plan dates.

Dating is a fun way to make memories with someone you love. A date doesn’t have to be something elaborate, it can be something simple, like a picnic in the park or a hike together—it’s just a way you can spend time with each other doing something special. If you don’t feel like going on dates any longer with a person and creating those moments with them, then you could be falling out of love.

6. Your relationship is not up-leveling.

"Relationships should be in the progression of up-leveling," says Tamara Green, LCSW, a loving relationships expert. "For example, if you get into a verbal altercation or tiff, the sign of a healthy relationship is that it ultimately brings you closer together with a greater understanding of one another's perspectives and needs," explains. "If, however, the argument creates more upset, misunderstanding, and drama, your relationship is tearing down, that is, not up-leveling."

7. You stay with someone for their own well-being.

Being in a relationship with someone isn’t about doing anyone a favor. It’s about loving the other person and wanting to be with them. If you are staying in a relationship with someone because the other person says they need you, can’t live without you or has expressed some sort of toxic dependence on you, you’re in it for the wrong reason and are keeping yourself from a meaningful relationship.

8. You don’t like hanging out together anymore.

If you no longer want to spend time together, that's a clear sign you're falling out of love, says DeAlto. "You find yourself avoiding them as opposed to prioritizing them, and you don’t miss them when you’re not together." If you’d rather spend time away from them than with them, it shows that you’re happier alone, which isn’t what a relationship is about.

9. You think about future plans…without them.

Everyone thinks about the future…what their plans are for next month, the next year, the next 5 years... But if you find yourself daydreaming about future vacations, or moving somewhere or a job and you don’t imagine your SO along for the ride with you, your relationship may not be destined for the long haul. "In a loving relationship, you are a unit and the future has the two of you together," DeAlto says. "If someone starts making plans as an 'I' versus a 'we,' there's a problem."

10. You no longer prioritize them.

Showing your partner that they're a priority in your life is a clear sign of being in love. So if you find yourself "spending more time with your family, kids, or friends rather than with your significant other," Green says, it could be a red flag and mean they're no longer as important to you as they once were.

11. PDA is no longer a thing.

When you’re in L-O-V-E, you want to hold your partner’s hand in public, you want to wrap your arm around their waist, you want to kiss them on the cheek or peck them on the lips when you’re out and about. However, when your heart is no longer invested in someone, PDA isn’t something you do subconsciously or knowingly.

12. You start complaining about them…to everyone.

No relationship is perfect and all couples need to vent about one another from time to time, but if you’re someone who starts constantly complaining about whoever you’re dating and always put them down when you’re talking about them instead of praising them, something is off. When you love a person, you are always trying to find the good in them and make them better, so if you can’t see those good qualities, you’re not as connected to them as you once were.

13. Your reasons for being with them have changed.

Another tell-tale falling out of love sign: "You're in it for every other reason than love," Concepcion says. "Sometimes we get comfortable. Starting over alone is daunting. When you ask yourself why you're with them and the first answer isn't because you're in love, you're probably not."

14. You no longer argue.

Don’t let this sign confuse you. While you might think not arguing is a good thing, it actually can be a bad thing, too. When you no longer feel the need to fight for yourself and your opinions in a relationship and to stand up for a point that you want to come across, it shows you don’t care enough to. You’re basically just tired and you’ve given up.

15. They don’t feel special to you.

Partners who are in love, value each other. So if "you're more focused on what's missing and flaws justifying a break up instead of their amazing qualities," Concepcion says, it's a clear falling out of love sign. "The bad starts to outweigh the good and the differences between you become more glaring and obvious." If you start to think of your boyfriend/girlfriend as just another fish in the sea, rather than your other half or your person, then you're probably falling out of love.

Check out...
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