"Yeah, I Don’t Drink Anymore": People Are Sharing Party Stories When They Knew The Fun Was Over

We asked the party people of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their wildest moments at a shindig, and y'all, they gave us nothing less than wet, wild, and dirty mayhem.

Warner Bros.

1."My high school sweetheart and I recently got back in contact, and he invited me to his birthday party. Sparks were still there, so we were both nervous. I was a little too nervous and drank way too much. I ended up hitting on his BFF, popping a friend of his who hit on me, and locking myself in the ONLY bathroom in the house. I fell asleep on the toilet, finishing the night by peeing on my ex's bed. Twelve years later, and I'm still embarrassed. ??"

—sadiesycho

2."I was at my friend's party, and then this guy asked me to dance with him. We got drunk, went to a hotel, and when we woke up in the morning, we ordered room service, and HIS WIFE was there because she worked in that hotel. Five years later, I got an invitation in my email for this guy's wedding. I didn't even know his name."

—anonymous

3."Everybody was dancing in a sweaty kitchen. When 'Hypnotize' by Notorious B.I.G. came on, I thought it would be funny to do the dance from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. It was fun until I smacked my head on the white ceiling fan and had to get stitches. All my friends know me for that. I still have the scar."

—anonymous

Buena Vista Pictures

4."I was in high school, living with my best friend in her beach mansion. She had an ankle monitor (a whole other wild story in itself), so she'd bring the fun to her by throwing huge parties at her house. I had just broken up with a very abusive boyfriend. My best friend and I had begun dating two drug dealers who were best friends. Unfortunately, my new boyfriend already had a longtime girlfriend. My ex belonged to the popular jock group, while my new boyfriend was one of the most popular of the skater crowd. One night my friend throws another party, and my ex AND my new boyfriend's girlfriend show up. The girlfriend found us first. She attacked me, but I easily threw her off. My ex found us next and tried to drag me out by force. My new bf attacked, and his gang of burnouts jumped in."

"Someone pulled a knife, and I jumped in to break it up and got stabbed. My ex took me to the hospital despite my protests. The coke dealers went underground, and I have a large scar."

—goety

5."I went to a party in the neighborhood next to my college in Minnesota. When the cops showed up, everyone tried to run, but one genius tried to literally jump THROUGH the window on the second floor! I saw the whole thing as I hid on the deck of the nice old ladies next door (a story for another time, but they're lovely, and I pet-sat for them throughout college). This dude shattered the glass and got stuck in the window around his torso. Imagine his legs were still in the house, and his upper body hung out on the roof. My guy was screaming, and the cops tried to keep him still while the ambulance came. Yeah, I don’t drink anymore."

—anonymous

20th Century Fox

6."I watched a group of five guys trash this guy's kitchen. The guy whose kitchen it was started it. By trash, I mean literally chucking the contents of the kitchen at each other, then ripping the empty cupboards off the walls! The last thing I saw was one guy holding an entire kitchen cupboard above his head, marching toward another guy, and smashing it over his head while they all cried laughing — including the one who had just been smashed in the head!"

—nib80

Entertainment One

7."Every year in my old neighborhood, we throw a fish fry in someone's backyard. It's a tradition. We catch catfish in the early morning and cook it in the afternoon. One year, we rented one of those colorful bounce houses for all the kids in the neighborhood, but after way too much brown liquor and beer, the dads took their turn at the bounce house. It was pretty funny in the beginning. I remember them singing 'Taking Care of Business.' But then the bounce house exploded, and it took us almost an hour to fish out all the drunk dads from the wreckage. Nobody was hurt."

—anonymous

8."I lied to my parents. I didn't go to Disneyland right after graduation. I went to a huge grad party at this rich kid's house. The whole school was there. There was a lot of alcohol, but everybody drank 40s that night. It's a game where you duct tape the bottles to your hands, and you can't use your hands until you finish the bottle. Everything went to shit when we all got sick. Everybody. Sick. Projectile vomit. Watery vomit. Chunky vomit. Everywhere."

—anonymous

20th Television

9."I had WAAAAAY too much to drink at a party and tried to fall asleep on the foot of a bed. In the main area, I could hear people dancing and singing 'Bubble Butt,' but suddenly somebody stopped the song, and people started screaming. I didn't realize what happened until my friend burst into the bedroom and told me we had to get in the truck. Apparently, my friend broke one of the turntables, and some guys wanted to fight him. The whole party chased us out of the party. I remember jumping into a moving truck, hanging halfway out the door with only one white sneaker dragging on the gravel as we drove away."

— anonymous

10."It was our friend's bachelorette party. Well, it was the bachelor party too, but the women stayed in a different house than the guys. We went to a winery, and the guys went to a cigar bar. In the middle of the night, we all decided to crash the boys' house and see what they were up to. They were playing video games. Obviously. We bought more alcohol, and everyone kept drinking together. The bride and groom got so wasted they started making out and fell through a glass window into the backyard. Logistically, it made sense to have the wedding the next day because we were together already. Nobody expected the bride to fall through a window the night before. We spent the entire night trying clean everything and pretend as if it had never happened. All the bridesmaids used a bunch of Band-Aids and makeup to cover up the little scratches on her arms and shoulders, and we never told her parents or anybody what happened."

"Her little brother went to Home Depot the next morning and fixed the window before anybody else showed up at the house. We kept it a secret. They've been married for 12 years now."

—anonymous

11."We went to Jamaica for my 21st birthday. It was beautiful. The first night we went to a dance party at the hotel and entered a dance contest on the beach. It was the first thing we did right after getting to the hotel. The last two people standing were my friend and me. When I dance, I do this thing where I stick my tongue out, and it's long. The lady hosting the event told everyone on the microphone she saw me in one of 'dem porns' because of my long tongue. I tried to deny it, but people kept laughing like I was joking. The entire weekend people at the hotel thought I was a porn star. Families, random guys, the hotel staff. I just went with it."

—anonymous

RCA / Via giphy.com

12."Some years ago, I went to a new coworker's birthday party and knew something was off. It felt like there was a giant magnet pulling my shoulder blades toward the door. I left very, VERY early. When I saw my coworker two days later, she told me, 'You are so lucky you left when you did.' Not long after I left, one of her friends got jumped and badly beaten up on a beer run, and multiple guests had their tires slashed. Always trust your gut, kids!"

—losfrangeles

13."I was at a party as a teenager in my hometown and dancing with this guy in a crowded room. The lights were low so that I couldn't see his face. We were having so much fun, but he came across as a little creepy and kept saying, 'You're so sexy,' and kissing me. Suddenly, someone turned on the lights, and I saw it was my uncle, who was 66 at the time! I couldn't have run away from that place quicker. I left my friends there because I needed to get away so quickly I went home solo. When I got into my car, I didn't realize some drunk idiots were on the rooftop, so I pulled down the windows to see what the noise was, and they shat in my face. Let's just say I haven't been to many parties since."

—anonymous

20th Television

14."One time, we snuck into a random wedding on accident, and they let us stay for the reception. I think some people thought we were the groom's cousins. It was the [wildest] party I have ever been to. There was enough food to feed the entire resort — TWICE! There were three different wedding cakes. The bride and groom must've been somebody really important with a lot of money. We danced all night, and the music wasn't even that bad. Not 'The Cha Cha Slide' or 'Cupid Shuffle.' A guy I think was the bride's dad was so drunk he kept falling over and crashing into tables — knocking glasses over. I think he paid for everything, so nobody stopped him. I never want to get married, but I wouldn't mind having a party like that."

"We got back to our resort room at 3 a.m., and my mom didn't believe us. She insisted we were doing drugs with people on the beach. I don't even know where she got that story from. Finding random people to give us free drugs would be just as random as crashing a wedding party."

— anonymous

15."At my daughter's first birthday party, we held an afterparty for adults. The people at this party were all military/spouses. The party went smoothly until we ran out of ice. One guy had been flirting with a [woman] (who's married). They volunteered to go get the ice. The store was literally at the corner, and they were gone for two hours. During this time, I had one wife crying in my yard that her husband would leave her because she drank too much and another wife stripping, singing, and swinging from a light pole. I stopped having parties for a long time after that."

—anonymous

16."I miss our summer block parties. We stopped having them after one of my neighbors found out her husband cheated on her with another woman across the street. They actually had the same name. Maybe he was attracted to their names? His wife showed up at the block party really, really drunk and tried to fight the other woman, but then another woman said she was sleeping with him too. All three started fighting. It was good for maybe 10 minutes. Then the fighting started back up again. I think other people jumped in, but I can't remember. I just know we don't have block parties anymore. Oh, the third woman was my aunt."

—anonymous

giphy.com / Via giphy.com

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