18 Mistakes You'll Probably Make While Planning Your Wedding — From People Who Work Them And People Who've Had Them
We asked people who work in the wedding industry to share common mistakes they've seen others make while planning their weddings, and it inspired even more wisdom from the BuzzFeed Community! Here are some of their best tips:
1.Before you start any of the actual planning, iron things out with your partner:
"Think about what's really important to you and your partner. What are your priorities? Having your dream dress? Throw a big party? Keeping it intimate? Establish that first; it will help you stay focused when everyone around suddenly becomes a wannabe wedding planner. Own it, it's YOUR day!"
2.If you can, hire a wedding coordinator so they can sweat the small details while you get all married and stuff:
"Definitely get a coordinator!! That’s the only regret I have for my wedding. It would've also been nice to have a proper caterer/someone else to clean up the venue afterward, but a coordinator would've at least allowed us to have as much fun as possible."
3.Please — for the sake of yourself and your wedding party — hire more than one person to do hair and makeup:
"I was in a wedding in October, and I was also the makeup artist and hairstylist. I don't know how I did it, but I got myself, the bride, and five bridesmaids all done in about four hours. I highly recommend more than one artist so it’s not as stressful."
4.If you're planning to have kids at your wedding, establish a place for them to play/hang out:
"Think of having a play space for children, maybe a place where they can nap, for example. The parents will appreciate it and be able to enjoy your wedding even more."
5.When hiring a photographer, make sure it's someone you gel with — you'll be spending a lot of time together:
"Wedding photographer here! My biggest tip for hiring a photographer: make sure it’s someone you LIKE. You’ll most likely spend more one-on-one time with your photographer than any other vendor or guest (maybe even your spouse!) And if you don’t click or they rub you the wrong way, that will make for a long, uncomfortable wedding day. If you hate them, it'll show on your face in your photos and will end up being what you remember most about the day. Check their portfolio, make sure their style is what you like, that they have experience and insurance and all that, but most importantly, make sure they’re someone you want to spend your entire wedding day with."
6.Carve out more time than you think you need for photos, because they'll take a while:
"I can’t stress enough that photos take longer than you think! We thought we had enough wiggle room, but I guess people were starting to feel cocktail hour was going on too long, and my mom was getting anxious about us getting to the reception to proceed with events. The photos were worth it, though."
7.Yes, budget for a good photographer — but also do the same for a videographer:
"Wedding planner here — not a mistake, but a recommendation: budget for a videographer. You're going to have these amazing photos of you crying at the ceremony, or the best man cracking up your new spouse during the toasts — but six months after the big day, you're going to have no idea what anyone said. Scale back where you can to make sure there's budget saved for video."
8.If planning's not really your thing, find a venue that offers all-inclusive packages and rates:
"When my husband and I got married, we were lucky enough to find a venue that supplied pretty much everything — catering, flowers, DJ, etc. — and there was a dedicated person who ran the whole show (we got married and had the reception in one venue). I highly recommend it if you can find a place like that. They had everything down to a science."
9.The weeks leading up to the wedding and the day of will feel like a big blur — for the love of god, remember to take care of yourself:
"Remember to eat! My mom passed out at her wedding right before going into the reception because she was overly stressed and not eating enough in the weeks leading up to it. She recuperated quickly and was able to enjoy the wedding after some food and water."
10.To save on stress, limit the amount of people "helping" you with everything:
"Your wedding may be a big event, but keep your number of helpers as small as possible. We had several family members 'helping,' but they kept switching on the lights when we wanted it candlelit. They started making tea when we had several gallons ready in the fridge. They told people to help themselves to the cupcake tower when it was part of the wedding cake. So, we have no photos of the whole thing before it was mostly gone. We'd communicated our wishes to the three people we'd recruited to help, but then others jumped in and our wishes weren't made known."
11.And although they're there to help, don't overload your wedding party with endless errands and tasks:
"Don't rely on your wedding party to act as staff. Your wedding party is there for you, the couple, but there are limits! You and your wedding party should be having fun and relaxing the day of the ceremony, not setting up chairs in full hair and makeup for the ceremony, or hauling centerpieces in their formal wear to set up the reception. Making them responsible for packing everything up at the end of the night when they're exhausted is a good way to lose friends. They are there to SUPPORT you, not SERVE you."
12.If you want candles at your ceremony, consider having it indoors. If not, don't even bother:
"I'm an officiant, and couples really like candle ceremonies. The bride and groom light a candle, then use them to light another candle together. Just lovely for INDOOR ceremonies! I give a whole spiel about the flame representing your love and the life you'll build together, then the wind immediately blows it out. Awkward."
13.Your wedding dress is going to take months to actually get into your hands, so try to lock it down ASAP:
"I worked as a wedding dress consultant. There are a bunch of mistakes I have seen while working there. The biggest one: not ordering your dress far enough in advance. They take anywhere from 4–6 months to be made, depending on the brand. Also, don't try on a dress outside of your budget. You will love it and nothing will compare. I promise you, it is NOT a good idea!
14.Once you've found THE dress, try to do some digging in order to find the best price out there.
"When you find THE dress, take a picture or write down who makes it and the design/style. Then, check out other stores for better pricing! The cost at one store could be 10 times more than another, and shops rotate stock at different times. I found my dress for $6,000 at one store, but left brokenhearted over the price. At two other shops that same day, I could’ve ordered it for $4,750 or $5,200. I went to the bridal shop near my work the next day, and they were able to order the exact dress for only $375. It turned out they’d been told by the manufacturer a few weeks prior to sell the dress on clearance, as it was from two design seasons past."
15.All that being said, try to let go of the notion that there's just one PERFECT wedding dress out there for you:
"I grew up spending LOTS of time in a bridal shop growing up, as my mom was their seamstress. Number one: let go of the 'one perfect dress' fantasy. There are many great dresses, in all budgets, and most sizes. Go with what you like, that fits, and is in your budget."
16.There's a 99.99% chance your dress will need alterations, so make sure to factor that into your budget:
"Budget in alterations! Things like a simple hem or bustle may be included or inexpensive. But taking in, letting out, or turning a strapless into a modest dress can cost as much or MORE than the base dress. And if you cheap out on alterations, you'll regret it."
17.If you want to wear a custom suit or tux, that also means planning months in advance:
"For the folks who want to wear bespoke suits/tuxes, the window of time is shorter than dresses but still long. Make sure you plan at least 2-4 months ahead of the big day."
18.And finally, don't get too caught up with pleasing everyone else on YOUR big day:
"I used to be a wedding planner, and my biggest tip will always be: Don’t try to please other people. It’s your day, you're being generous enough to pay for the dinner and entertainment, so you should get what you want, not what you think would entertain others."