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BuzzFeed

19 Embarrassing But Funny College Hookup Stories That People Will Never, EVER Forget

BuzzFeed
7 min read

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their funniest and most embarrassing college hookup stories. Here are the juicy, silly, and downright cringeworthy anecdotes they shared:

1."I still cringe at the time I hooked up with a guy from class, and as he was getting ready to finish, he said he wanted to make me a Twinkie. I laughed so hard that he couldn’t finish, and he left angrily. He stopped looking at me during class for the rest of the semester."

—Anonymous

2."He honked my boobs like he was a clown squeezing a horn."

—Anonymous

a woman putting her head in her hands
TV Land

3."I was a freshmen in college, and he was my psychology lecture partner for a project. Instead of working on the project, we just kept hooking up. Then, he stopped coming to class. I was left doing the entire project, so I made sure he got an F. I also found out he had a long-distance girlfriend. We still follow each other on IG."

—Anonymous

4."My stand partner and I had a little practice session to tackle some difficult sections in our music. Afterward, things started getting flirty and hot. Before long, we were making out, and clothes were flying off. Right before my pants came off, we heard someone start playing 'Careless Whisper' outside on their sax. I looked out the door and saw a small group of other students laughing and clapping for us. We were both instantly red in the face."

—Anonymous

a person playing sax
NBC

5."I had sex with my boyfriend in a hammock at a park by campus. The next day, my professor told the whole class how disgusted he was when he went to the park with his family and saw two people having sex in a hammock. He said he didn’t see their faces, but I sunk so far down in my seat, I nearly died."

—Anonymous

6."I helped my friend move into her dorm for her freshman year and went out to the car to grab something. I bumped into a cute guy who was also moving in, and we started chatting. I ended up going back to his dorm and hooking up with him. Right as I was putting my shirt back on, his roommate (who he had not yet met) and his family stumbled into the room. I later came to find out he would become my study partner."

—Anonymous

a woman putting her head in her hand
NBC

7."After we had sex, he sat in the fetal position on the edge of my bed and asked for a 'review.' His eyes were welling up, and I swore he was on the verge of tears."

—Anonymous

8."During welcome week of college, I slept with a guy and got my period in the middle of it. His sheets were soaked in blood, so I offered to pay for new ones, but he refused. He had to call his mom to bring him new sheets. I had to sit behind him in a lecture hall for the next semester, and we never spoke again."

—Anonymous

a woman opening her mouth in surprise
Fox

9."This was at the University of Alabama when it snowed in 2017 or 2018. I had a man text me asking to come see him, and I (female), of course, went. So, I traveled to his apartment through the SNOW and ICE to watch Game of Thrones with this man. He was cute! Well, we started making out, and it got hot and heavy. I was shirtless in just my leggings when he stripped naked. He proceeded to pull his legs to his chest and told me to 'stick it in.' I was like what?? He repeated, 'Stick it in.' I then fingered his gooch like I was doing a little wave with my finger. He got off instantly. I put on my clothes and drove the hour home."

—Anonymous

10."This guy was getting close to finishing, and he asked me where I wanted him to bust. I said my CHEST, but he must’ve misheard me because he said 'Okay,' pulled out, leaned over, and shot his stuff all over the DRESS I'd been wearing earlier that night. It was my first time wearing that dress too! There are still stains on it."

—Anonymous

a man puts his hand to his mouth
NBC

11."One time, I pretended to be from the South (I'm from PA). I had a whole fake story about myself and talked in an accent the entire time I was with this guy — all through the hookup too! Never flinched. Then, I saw him the next day and forgot what I had done, and talked without the accent. The look on his face said it all. He was VERY bothered."

—Anonymous

12."When I was a senior in college, I started fooling around with this new guy I liked. One night, he asked me to come over. I was at the very end of my period but was out of panty liners, so I had improvised by using an extra-large, super long maxi pad, which was all I had on hand. I didn't think we'd get that far anyways. Long story short: Things got heated, I took my panties off at some point, and we messed around sans clothes, but stopped short of going all the way. Anyway, I went home, and realized then that I FORGOT MY PANTIES (maxi pad and all). The next day after class, he brought my panties over to my place and had removed the pad and washed them. I was mortified, but what a guy, right?"

—Anonymous

a woman putting her hand to her chest
The Paley Center for Media

13."It ended with the guy putting my head through the closet, and the entire time he kept randomly shouting out 'ROLL TIDE.' He also responded to everything I said with, 'Yes, ma’am.' We were both from Pennsylvania and were at college in-state."

ahasnoname928

14."I hooked up with a guy, and once we finished, we went to take a shower together. In the shower, he smacked my ass and said, 'Good game, sport.' I started laughing so hard I couldn’t stand."

—Anonymous

a woman putting her hand to her mouth
Netflix

15."During my freshman year of college, I went to a wine Wednesday event at a frat with some girls in my sorority. I ended up hooking up with this guy who came in my eye and left horrendous hickeys on my neck. I had to get up super early the next morning for therapy, and he had the nerve to say, 'Your therapist must have a field day with you.' Not my finest moment."

—Anonymous

16."This one guy was railing me so damn hard and fast — it was wild! Unfortunately, he pulled a little too far back on one of his strokes and bent his dick so hard he ended up in the hospital."

—Anonymous

a man screaming in pain
Fox

17."I went to a party that was Bob's Burgers themed, so everyone had to dress up like a character from the show. I dressed up as Louise. I met another girl there also dressed as Louise. We hit it off pretty hard, and went to make out and get nasty in the bathroom. We both kept the bunny ears on the whole time."

—Anonymous

18."I was a freshman at USC in 1987, and I went to a rush party at a fraternity on campus. I ended up hooking up with some guy that night. The next morning he went to the bathroom, and when he came back, he said, 'You're still here?!' OUCH. I was so embarrassed and hurt, I never set foot in that house again. What a jerk!"

—Anonymous

a man looking surprised
Pop TV

19.Finally: "I lost my virginity at a college Halloween party to a guy who was wearing a Spirit Halloween Luigi costume."

—Anonymous

Do you have a funny or cringey college hookup story? ?? Tell us in the comments!

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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