One Woman Had A Doctor Tell Her She Looks Appetizing While Giving A Pap Smear And 30 Other Unhinged Comments Doctors Actually Made
We recently shared a Reddit thread where women conveyed stories about the awful things medical professionals have said to them. There were so many infuriating stories in the comments that we decided to share more.
Warning: Some submissions in this post include mentions of sexual assault, eating disorders, domestic abuse, self-harm, and suicide.
So, here are 31 incredibly unnecessary comments that women had to hear from medical professionals:
1."I was in my mid-20s and in a very abusive relationship. After one particularly brutal incident, I went to my doctor because I couldn't hear out of my ear, and my eye was swollen. He looked me over and diagnosed me with a ruptured eardrum, and after I explained what happened to him, he said, 'Well, kid, you need to learn to bob and weave.'"
"I found the strength to get out of that relationship, and I never went back to that doctor."
2."I started getting yeast infections every 3–8 weeks after I started the pill. I had some as a toddler, so I'm likely susceptible to them. But I was so frustrated and tried different versions of the pill. After my 23rd yeast infection in three years, in tears, I asked my campus doctor if there were any supplements or vitamins I could try. The lady looked at me and said, 'I think you're allergic to your boyfriend's sperm, and you should stop having sex.'"
"I was so angry/invalidated. Fast-forward two years, I finally did get to a specialist after realizing the pill was a definite factor (I went off it and was single/abstinent for a year), and she got me on a probiotic for my vagina to work against the adverse effects of the pill. It worked magically. I’ve since been on an IUD, and it’s never an issue at all — but I was so grateful someone finally helped me."
3."In my early 20s, I went to a doctor to get a refill for birth control pills and needed a pap smear. When he first came into the room, he was commenting on my 'sexy' leather pants; then, when doing the pelvis exam with the assistant in the room, he said, 'Mmmm, this gives me an appetite!' while I assumed the position."
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4."When I had a miscarriage, the doctor told me, 'It's not a big deal. It's just a clump of cells that didn't work out,' and that his wife 'had multiple miscarriages and she is totally fine.'"
"Later, I looked at his notes, and he had written, 'Seems very emotional, might need counseling to get over it.' I never had a miscarriage before; of course, I was emotional!"
5."I woke up one morning with a large open wound on my breast. Being scared to death, I called my PCP. My sister has breast cancer, and my mom is a two-time survivor. My PCP told me this was very suspicious for inflammatory breast cancer during my appointment. He then proceeded to ask me if it was, did I know what I wanted to do? I told him I'd be having a mastectomy ASAP. His response was, 'Now what fun would that be for your husband?'"
"My response was, 'How much fun will he have if I’m dead!!!' So I walked out got a new PCP ASAP. Then a surgeon had to remove 1/4 of my breast. Thankfully it was benign. The first doctor, however, was toxic as hell."
6."When I was in my 20s, I went to an M.D. because I was experiencing extreme fatigue. He told me I was suffering from depression and to 'find myself a boyfriend'; I was in a serious relationship at the time. He also told me to 'drink more milk.'"
7."My midwife nonchalantly said while doing a breast exam, 'Lumpy, lumpy,' and giggled about it. I went home sobbing, thinking I might have breast cancer and could possibly leave behind four kids. It turns out it was just my rib cage she felt through my breast tissue."
"Her brother also did my 'no-more-baby' surgery and found out afterward that I was pregnant during the surgery, and he never caught it. Luckily my baby was fine. I was the first of about seven women he did that to, and he's no longer in practice. Neither is the midwife."
8."My family moved the summer before I started second grade, and we went to see the new doctor my parents had picked for my sister and me before school started. Both of my parents struggled with their respective weights, and while I was not a skinny child, I wasn't significantly overweight either. My sister, at that time, was very thin. The male pediatrician looked at all of us, pointed at my sister, and said, 'Where'd she come from?'"
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"Being body-shamed at 8 years old was bad enough, but hearing this from a doctor who had been entrusted with my care had a huge negative impact on my body image, family dynamics, and self-esteem. I guess he went straight to step two of the Hippocratic Oath and just blew right past the 'first do no harm' part."
9."I went to see my 60-year-old male doctor when I was 17. I could barely walk; the car ride there was absolute hell; it took over two hours because I was so dizzy and nauseous. My legs felt numb, and my mom had to hold me up while we walked there. I could hardly speak, eat, or breathe, and it was so scary. I still don't know what was (or is) wrong with me because he refused to do any testing. I sat there sobbing, explaining how I felt, and his response was, 'That's just how it feels to be a woman.'"
"I had to pay almost 300 euros for that.
I had a similar episode last September. We went to the ER, and the male doctor there just told me that I'm bananas. He said, 'I see you have severe depression. I think it might be that.' So they took a COVID test because I said I couldn't breathe; nobody ever took a real look at me. So while sitting down, my heart rate was almost 200, and they said it was 'just fine.'
And I know someone will ask me to go see a new doctor — I can't. I don't have money for another useless appointment, and I can't choose a female doctor either. So you get who is available. I do feel like there is something wrong with me, but nobody wants to help."
10."My doctor told me that 'there were no fat people in Auschwitz' and advised me to try My Fitness Pal."
11."I'm in my 20s and am still a virgin for various personal reasons, but I am on birth control pills to help with a documented hormonal imbalance. Due to that, plus my age, most new physicians I've had are surprised that I'm not sexually active. They usually aren't at all judgmental about it; they just document it and move on."
"One time at a new GYN office, the medical assistant going through my paperwork refused to believe that I wasn't sexually active. She kept asking really rude questions like, 'Seriously, you've NEVER had sex? Even oral sex? How is that possible?' And despite my insistence that yes, I've never had a sexual encounter, she documented that I was sexually active because she didn't believe me. The doctor quickly corrected the mistake when I pointed it out, but I was so angry.
Women can’t win. We have sex; we’re called sluts. We don’t have sex; we’re called prudes. Seriously, just let me make my own decisions about my body, and don’t judge me for it."
12."Once told a gynecologist that I was sexually active and she told me, 'In my day, we waited till there was a ring on that finger.'"
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13."I went to the ER in college because I was in so much pain. I vomited for over a week straight and lost 20-plus pounds in a few weeks. He called me a drug addict and accused me of faking my symptoms to get more pain medication. He refused to do any blood testing (which would have shown an infection), and he then gave my roommate pamphlets for rehab centers in the area. I was back in the ER two days later, having emergency surgery at 3 a.m., because my gallbladder burst and an infection had spread to my other organs. The surgeon told my dad I was very lucky because I was hours away from being dead."
14."I was having dizziness and vision issues. My doctor referred me to a specialist. After a few visits with him, he said to me, 'We've got to get you better so you and I can go on a date.' I was sooooo uncomfortable."
15."In college, I saw the free-on-campus gyno to renew the birth control that I took to keep my migraines at bay. She rolled her eyes when I winced with discomfort, and when she withdrew the speculum, she smirked at me and said, 'The redheads always bleed.'"
"The nurse gave me a panty liner and apologized for her colleague, but I was horrified. If I had half the poise I do now, I would have reported her ass."
16."I went to the doctor with a small lesion on my chin when I was a teenager, and she told me it was acne and to wash better. Within 24 hours, the rash had spread over my entire chin, and it was a dermal strep infection. I now have a giant scar."
17."I had just had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy that caused organ failure. The doctor tried to send me home the day of surgery without any pain medicine. He said women didn't need it, and it shouldn't be that painful. I had major surgery, and he wouldn't give me anything until my father came in to yell at him."
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"If I had been there alone, I would have left with nothing. Really think about how awful that is."
18."I was engaged and went to my doctor to have an IUD inserted for birth control. He told me that I could get a terrible infection if I had more than one partner. I reminded him that I was engaged, so that wasn't a worry. Then he said, 'Well, I guess you will find out if your fiancé is cheating on you when you develop a terrible pelvic infection.'"
"WTF!"
19."When I was 21, I ended up with thrush in my mouth because of a surgery I had and all the antibiotics I was taking. The female doctor and nurses giggled to themselves that this was how you know someone is a lesbian. So while I was a lesbian, I was not out yet, nor had I ever been with a woman. This was in 1997. I never went back for treatment."
"That was an awful time because my RA felt it was her duty to inform my mother that I was gay and had a yeast infection in my mouth from oral sex with a woman."
20."My first two pap smears were very unpleasant. My first experience was on September 11, 2001, and was horrible for many obvious reasons. But I was 18 and a virgin, and the doctor couldn't get the speculum in and couldn't with the smaller one either. It was painful. She essentially told me to have sex to make her job easier. I didn't go back to her."
"My second pap was at Planned Parenthood. This lady in her 60s does the pap. I'm 21 and still a virgin. She shoved it in so hard that I screamed. It hurt so much! She yelled at me to knock it off and said it didn't hurt that much. It hurt to sit for hours afterward, and I passed a huge clot-type thing. I'm pretty sure she broke my hymen. I didn't even get dinner first."
21."Everything was because I was fat. I would have to start every conversation with, 'Yes, I know I'm fat. Now that we got that out of the way, can we look at my broken arm?' I had a doctor that wouldn't give me antibiotics for my respiratory infection; instead told me to lose 20 pounds and I'll breathe better."
"I went to another doctor; ended up on it antibiotics for bilateral bacterial infection of my pleural lining. That was fun. They said, 'You will feel better when you lose weight — just get the surgery.' I did. Mind you, I had no issues with diabetes or cholesterol when I was fat. I was an avid powerlifter and trained four times a week. Now I'm 150 pounds lighter, and I'm diabetic (they are guessing because I have no previous records of diabetes). Also, I feel like trash every damn day. I miss my fat knees, and I'm cold all the damn time."
22."I was expressing frustration with difficulty losing weight no matter what I did when I was in for my annual. My doctor looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Just stop eating.' I was so upset that I got into a car accident on the way home. Luckily, I was OK."
"I was sent to an endocrinologist by my regular doctor for the same reason, and he looked at me like I was disgusting and condescendingly said, 'Well, tracking calories is hard. Just go see the bariatric doctor for pills to make you lose weight.' I rage shopped after that one.
It turns out I was on a medication that was causing it, and I only found out because I was too lazy to fill it, and then my insurance stopped covering it. Two months later, I’m down 10 pounds."
23."I have PTSD because I'm a survivor of emotional abuse and sexual assault. I had a psych professional at the hospital tell me the key to my recovery was simply that I needed to 'get over my fear of men and get a boyfriend.' I was only there to get treatment for severe dehydration because it was summer in Texas."
24."I made an appointment to see a doctor about not having a period for years. While in the waiting room, the receptionist, in front of all the other patients, came out and told me that the doctor didn't want to meet with me because he was male and was uncomfortable talking about 'lady problems.'"
25."I struggle with anorexia, and during a relapse when I was severely underweight I went to my doctor, who told me, 'Well, keep exercising, and you're doing well in school so you're fine.' I was later hospitalized under a court order from a different doctor and given a 30% chance of survival."
26."When I was 16, I went to my pediatrician to get a physical. The last time I had gone was about a year before, and in between that time, I had gained something like 3 to 5 pounds but was still in the middle of the healthy weight zone for my height and age. I was also an athlete and was in the middle of my season. The doctor saw my weight and kind of laughed when they looked at me. They then said, 'It looks like we need to stop eating so much pizza, burgers, and ice cream.'"
"He didn’t even discuss his comment; he left it at that and moved on to the next thing. I was still a teenager with body insecurities, and his comment really made me feel worse about myself. Now, however many years later, I still think about that and get angry."
27."I was in my 20s and casually dating a guy. I went in for a pap smear, and the gynecologist asked if I was going to marry him. I said, 'I don't think so.' He replied, 'Well, if he's good enough to sleep with...' Mind you, he said this to me as he examined me, my feet up in the stirrups. I never went to another male gynecologist again."
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28."In my early 20s, when I expressed concern that I had severe weight gain and facial hair growth from being put on the pill to regulate my very irregular cycles. The nurse told me, 'You're not fat from the pill; you're fat because you like food too much.' I had PCOS that would go undiagnosed for almost 20 years more because of her gaslighting."
"Another time in my late 20s, I went to my female primary care provider for a kidney infection. It was fairly progressed, so she ordered an injectable antibiotic, to be given apparently by the male assistant. I was sick — chills, fever, and severe head-to-toe pain — and miserable. He came into the room to do the injection, looked me up and down as I’m hunched in pain, then looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Bend over and drop ‘em.'"
29."At the advice of my psychologist, I checked into the ER when I had extreme suicidal ideation. I was taken back to a room immediately, and the nurse they put with me asked me basic questions to assess the situation, like if I had a plan and what it was. I told her yes, and told her it would be pills. She asked what kind of pills, and when I told her, she laughed and said, 'Well, that wouldn't have done anything.'"
"I was unbelievably vulnerable, and her response completely stunned me. I immediately shut down. The rest of the night wasn’t much better until I was admitted to the psych unit, which thankfully had an amazing staff."
30."When I was 19 years old, after my PAP my primary care physician told me that I was 'nice and tight.'"
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"I never went back to that doctor."
31.And finally, "I'm intersex. I am externally fully developed as a female, but I had male reproductive organs where my internal female reproductive organs would have been, and my DNA is male. The amount of foolishness I have put up with is out of control. My favorite is when I was at the dentist's office and needed X-rays. They asked me if there was any chance I was pregnant; I said no. Then they asked how I knew and when my last period was. I explained that I did not have a period. The dentist was so upset that someone so young didn't have a period and asked me why."
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"Mind you I am at the dentist's for a cleaning. So I said I am intersex. Cue the awkward silence and the dentist straight staring at my crotch the rest of the appointment."
Women, do you have any incredibly wild comments that a medical professional has ever said to you? Feel free to leave them in the comments below.
Note: Submission have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.