4-Year-Old Child Development Milestones

Everything you need to know about how your 4-year-old is developing, from physical and cognitive milestones to emotional and social development.

Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD Medically reviewed by Lyndsey Garbi, MD

Parenting a 4-year-old can be a wonderful, exciting experience. Yes, your child may still be a handful at times (this is common!), but they're growing in leaps and bounds.

Get ready for the stage when imaginative play is all the rage and you can have fuller, fascinating conversations with your kiddo. Your 4-year-old’s fine motor skills are becoming more refined by the day and they’ll soon be expert climbers, jumpers, and runners.

While it’s true that 4-year-olds are usually more reasonable than 2 or 3-year-olds, they're still young children and can be difficult to parent at times. In certain ways, they're even more willful than when they were younger, and their verbal skills make them more able to argue about everything.

So if you find parenting your 4-year-old challenging, you're far from alone. Learn more about what to expect when it comes to 4-year-old growth and development, and what warning signs might warrant a call to your pediatrician.

4-Year-Old Language and Cognitive Milestones

Your preschooler is turning into quite the chatterbox at this age. By 4 years old, your child should be able to speak in complete sentences, answer simple questions, and have back-and-forth conversations, says Eric Ball, MD, a pediatrician at Providence Mission Hospital in Orange County, California. “Almost all of what they say should be intelligible to a stranger,” Dr. Ball advises.

Additionally, your child should be able to follow multi-step commands with three or more steps. For example, after being given instructions, your 4-year-old should be able to pick up a toy from the floor, put it away in a toy basket, and then come back to sit on your lap to read a book.

Your child’s cognitive skills are developing quickly at this age too, says Brittany Ferri, PhD, OTR/L, CPRP, an occupational therapist. “Kids at this age should be able to count, identify colors, shapes, numbers, and letters, as well as use pronouns appropriately,” she says.

You’ll be amazed at how much your child can comprehend. If you tell or read them a story, they should be able to recall large parts of it. Also, 4-year-olds are great at making up their own stories. Their imaginations are really taking off at this age.

"Four-year-olds can understand most of what is going on in the world,” says Dr. Ball. “They are learning the difference between 'real' and 'pretend' and they often are developing vivid imaginations (think fairy tales and monsters).”

Language and Cognitive Checklist

• Your child is starting to grasp how time works.

• They should know how to say their first and last name.

• Most 4-year-olds can memorize and recite some words or phrases, such as from children’s songs and poems.

• Children this age can make predictions about what will happen next in a story or book.

• Your child should speak in simple sentences of about five words and know about 1,000 to 2,000 words.

4-Year-Old Movement, Hand, and Finger Milestones

Your 4-year-old isn’t just getting taller, but their fine and gross motor skills are getting more mature as well. By now, you should be able to play basic outside games with your child like catch and kickball. Art projects and board games will be favorite activities.

In terms of physical growth, 4-year-olds weigh an average of 40 pounds and are about 40 inches tall. All this growth requires healthy eating habits and good sleep. (You can expect your child to still need about 11 to 13 hours of sleep each night.)

Your child is becoming stronger and more agile each day. “Children at this age can run and jump well, can often balance on one foot and walk backward,” says Dr. Ball. Many kids this age are starting to ride bikes or scooters, Dr. Ball says. If you take your child out to play ball, they should be able to throw the ball overhead and kick a ball around with you, he adds.

“Kids at this age can use scissors, manage a writing utensil mostly independently, and use eating utensils,” Ferri says.

Physical Milestone Checklist

• Your child should be able to skip, climb, and jump.

• They may be able to do a somersault and stand on one foot for 10 or more seconds.

• Most 4-year-olds can get dressed and undressed without help and are learning how to brush their teeth.

• Your child is learning how to pour without too much spilling and can mash food.

• They're likely potty trained, but may still wet the bed.

Related: What To Know About Motor Skills in Children

4-Year-Old Emotional and Social Milestones

Four-year-olds are starting to have more opinions and beliefs, and they're more in touch with the world around them. Although 4-year-olds may seem much more mature than they were just a few months ago, they may still be moody and prone to meltdowns.

“It's still normal at this age for children to have some difficulty regulating their emotions, and temper tantrums are still relatively common,” says Dr. Ball. He says kids this age thrive on routine, and that setting a predictable daily structure can help them stay grounded.

Socially, 4-year-olds are learning a lot about making friends. They'll start to form real bonds with their peers and are getting better at cooperating and being mindful of the emotions of others. These are skills that will carry over well as they begin school.

Kids this age will likely have a few imaginary friends, too. Their imaginations are growing exponentially and much of their play is extremely creative.

Social and Emotional Checklist

• At age 4, your child will likely comfort others who are hurt or sad.

• They're learning to avoid danger and will take fewer risks.

• They like to be helpful.

• They can change their behavior based on where they are (such as a library or a playground).
  

Related: A Parent's Guide to Age-Appropriate Discipline

Other Milestones for Your 4-Year-Old

At this age, your child will become more aware of their sexuality. This can catch parents off-guard, but it’s completely normal.

Keep in mind that you will be more uncomfortable talking about sex than your 4-year-old is. Try to use matter-of-fact language. Use the correct terms for genitals ("penis" and "vagina") rather than euphemisms. You may notice your child exploring their body at this age. It’s important not to shame them, although you can teach them not to touch themselves in public.

Related: What Toddler Social Development Looks Like: Ages 1 and 4 

How To Help Your 4-Year-Old Learn and Grow

As a parent of a 4-year-old, you may have questions about helping your child develop, providing age-appropriate discipline and boundaries, and ensuring that your child stays safe.

You can do many things to help your child blossom and grow. For example, engage them in conversation whenever possible, read to them, and support their interests. This is the age when your child will have a million questions. Answering their questions—and supplementing their queries with educational materials (books, appropriate media, activities)—is a great idea, too.

You'll want to create a structure for your child and enforce positive discipline techniques. Four-year-olds can understand rules and social customs, but remember that they're still learning, so it’s normal if they need guidance along the way.

You can start teaching your child to do basic chores, such as setting and clearing the table. It can be helpful to have routines around your day-to-day life so that your child knows what to expect. At this age, you will want to enforce screen time rules and ensure that your child gets plenty of physical activity.

Related: 23 Fun STEAM and STEM Activities for Kids

How To Keep Your 4-Year-Old Safe

Your 4-year-old will seem much more independent, but they're still just a little kid and will need adult supervision for most of their activities. You can give your child guidance about things like the safe use of scissors, and how to perform activities like kickball without hurting themselves or others.

Soon after your child turns 4, they will have a well-child visit with your health care provider. Kids between the ages of 4 and 6 will get several immunizations, which may include the DTaP vaccine, the MMR vaccine, the IPV vaccine (polio), and the varicella vaccine. Your child may also be offered a flu shot.

Visit your pediatric health care provider to discuss your child’s growth and development, and go over important safety tips such as wearing a helmet while riding a bike, using a harnessed car seat, using sunscreen, and the importance of supervising your child diligently near water and streets.

Related: Car Seat Safety: 9 Most Common Mistakes to Avoid

When To Be Concerned About Your 4-Year-Old

All children grow at their own pace and in their own way, but there are certain signs that your child may be experiencing a developmental delay.

“I worry at this age if children are not playing cooperatively or have a hard time interacting with their peers or other children,” says Dr. Ball. “I am concerned when children's speech at this age is unintelligible or if they have a hard time following directions or understanding commands.”

Lacking social skills that may prompt a call to a pediatrician include not being interested in pretend play or playing with others, and not socializing with people outside of the immediate family. If you or others can’t understand your child when they speak, if they aren’t using pronouns correctly, or if they don’t seem able to recall stories that were told to them, reach out to a pediatrician.

Finally, if your child’s skills have regressed in some way, contact a health care provider, as this is a warning sign that something may be wrong.

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