6 Signs You're Actually *Too Affectionate* With Your Dog
Pet owner being affectionate with her dog
You may have gotten a dog because you wanted all the cuddles and snuggles. You're not alone. A 2023 Chewy survey of "hundreds of pet parents" found that more than half reported their pups were better cuddlers than their human partners.
Showering your pet with kisses may get you through the back half of your day at work, and you may long for weekends spent essentially spooning on the couch.
"Hugging and kissing are common ways that humans show each other affection," says Dr. Tiffany Tupler, DVM, CBCC-KA, a veterinarian at Chewy and certified dog behavior consultant. "When we love our pets as much as we love our human family members and friends, the instinct to hug and kiss them the same way we would their human counterparts can be strong."
But...there's a but.
"Not all dogs are welcoming of these gestures and, in fact, may find being restrained in a hug or forced into physical proximity with a human, even a familiar one, to be threatening," Dr. Tupler explains.
Dr. Tupler says these preferences span all dogs of all sizes and ages—from teacup pups to Great Danes and puppies to senior dogs. Despite some size and age differences, many dogs will show similar, telltale signs you're being too affectionate. Dr. Tupler shared them.
Related: 10 Sweet Signs Your Dog Thinks of You as Their Mom and Dad
6 Signs You're Too Affectionate With Your Dog, According to a Pet Behavior Specialist
These are some telltale signs your dog might wish you'd stop being so affectionate.
1. Hypervigilance or alertness
If your pup is on high alert, it may be because they're anticipating unwanted affection...from you. Dr. Tupler says a dog who is hypervigilant may show body language cues like:
Dilated pupils
Faster blinking
Stiff ears and posture
"[This posture] allows for immediate reaction, such as moving away from unwanted advances," Dr. Tupler explains.
2. Behavioral changes
Your dog may seem less and less like themselves. Sometimes, dogs shift their behaviors because they're not feeling something you're doing, such as overdoing it with kisses.
"Change of behavior such as hiding, acting depressed, or hyperactivity with nudging or avoiding to indicate their preferences [could be signs]," Dr. Tupler says.
Of course, these could also be signs a dog is injured or has a medical condition, so be sure to see a vet about concerns before engaging in self-blame games.
3. Increased shedding
Like people, stress can trigger hair woes.
"Increased shedding may signal an increased stress response, which should improve once the unwanted affection is removed," Dr. Tupler says.
4. Compulsive behaviors
In addition to hiding or acting down in the dumps, your dog may start doing things that seem rather excessive. However, it may be traceable to your excessive affection.
"Compulsive behaviors may include excessive licking of self or other objects, excessive barking or vocalizing and chewing objects or digging compulsively to calm themselves," Dr. Tupler says.
5. Increased heart rate or panting
Something may be up if your dog's heart is pounding or they're panting and haven't exercised recently.
"Increased heart rate and panting may indicate activation of the stress response due to the release of adrenaline during undesired attention with affection," Dr. Tupler says.
6. Drooling with lip-smacking or licking or yawning
These are other telltale signs your pup is seriously stressed. Dr. Tupler says the reason might be "unwanted advances of affection."
Related: The 5 Dog Love Languages and How to Offer Them Every Day
The No. 1 Sign You're Not Being Affectionate Enough With Your Dog
While it's possible to go overboard with affection toward a dog, a person may also give a dog too little love. "One of the key signs of lack of affection in dogs is attention-seeking behavior, which is a form of stress or anxiety," Dr. Tupler says.
These behaviors might include
Excessive barking
Whining
Pawing repeatedly
Digging
Chewing
"Dogs do crave connection and social engagement with us, so when they do not get enough of these things, they lack the mental stimulation and emotional regulation that comes with them," Dr. Tupler explains.
Related: 10 Little Ways to Tell Your Dog You Love Them
How to Figure Out Just the Right Amount of Affection to Show Your Dog
1. Let your dog come to you
If you do nothing else, let it be this.
"Perhaps the most important rule of showing your dog the right amount of affection is to offer your dog the choice to come to you first for affection," Dr. Tupler says. "This will ensure that they are in the best mental space to interact with you and will make the bonding session rewarding for both you and your pup."
2. Only engage in affection your dog enjoys
Sure, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but you can't force them to love hugs. Follow their cues.
"If your dog likes hugs, feel free to give a brief hug," Dr. Tupler says. "If they like belly rubs, allow them to expose his stomach when they’re ready before petting him. You can assess your dog’s reaction to each display of affection to discover what they like best."
3. Stop when your dog is over it
Even if your dog loves hugs and belly rubs, they may have a limit or get touched out. Again, let the dog lead the way.
Stop if your dog shows any of the above signs, like licking their lips or yawning.
"This will allow you and your dog to end the session on a positive note," Dr. Tupler says.
Source
Dr. Tiffany Tupler, DVM, CBCC-KA, a veterinarian at Chewy and certified dog behavior consultant
