75 Coffee Jokes You're Gonna Love a Latte
75 Best Coffee Jokes
Coffee is more than just a beverage, it's a crucial part of many people's daily routines. For coffee lovers, few things beat that first sip of a freshly brewed cup. And coffee so for more than just drinking. The caffeinated drink has permeated our culture, with coffee shops on every corner and clever coffee sayings on t-shirts and mugs—and maybe on a decorative sign (or two) in your kitchen.
The popular brew is perfect for puns, but it's also ripe for jokes. We brewed up 75 of the best coffee jokes to help perk you up any time of day. With this many options, you're sure to find one that'll put a smile on your mug.
Related: 150 Best Coffee Quotes
Funny Coffee Jokes
1. What do beans say to their Valentines? You keep me grounded.
2. How does an IT guy drink coffee? He installs Java.
3. What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
4. What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.
5. What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together? A happy cupple.
6. What's a coffee's favorite Wham! song? Wake Be up Before You Cocoa!
7. I didn’t choose the mug life, the mug life chose me.
8. How do coffee cups greet each other? With mugs and kisses.
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9. What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
10. What’s the best Beatles song? Latte Be!
11. What did the coffee lover name her son? Joe, obviously.
12. What did the coffee fan name his cats? Cream and Sugar.
13. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!
14. Where do birds go for a cup of joe? To the NESTcafe.
15. I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
16. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? Mugging!
17. I drink so much coffee at work, that I consider it part of my daily grind.
18. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion? I asked for coffee.
19. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged.
20. What do you call it when cafe customers joke about their coffee? A brewhaha.
21. What does a coffee lover say when they’re hitting on you? I’ve bean thinking about you a latte.
22. What did the coffees say before their night out? Let’s stir up some trouble!
23. How are coffee beans like teenagers? They’re always getting grounded.
24. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? It made him too jumpy.
25. What did the coffee say to their date? Hey there, hot stuff!
26. What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work? Break fluid.
27. What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together!
28. Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt. Spouse #2: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.
29. I was reading a book about the origin of cappuccino but it was all froth and no substance.
30. What’s big, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee? Java the Hut
31. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
32. What currency can we use to buy coffee in space? Starbucks.
33. How do you make pig jerky? Give them some coffee.
34. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory? The ground floor.
35. What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
36. What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before? Déjà brew.
37. Why did the coffee shop close for the day? Because a storm was brewing.
38. What did the one coffee bean say to the other? I brewlieve in you!
39. Like what’s a coffee bean’s favorite vacation destination? aRoma!
40. What’s a coffee bean’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Grind.
41. What did one coffeepot say to the other? “Let me pour out my heart to you.”
42. Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. I’m just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.
43. What's a coffee's favorite Shakespeare play? Macbrew.
44. What's a coffee's favorite dessert? Anything with a latte sugar.
45. What's a coffee's favorite social media platform? Insta-grind.
46. What's a coffee's favorite compliment? "You're brew-tiful."
47. What's a coffee's favorite dance move? The jitterbug.
48. What's a coffee's favorite romantic movie? Groundhog Day.
49. How does coffee say goodbye? It says, "I'll catch you on the drip side."
50. What's a coffee's favorite movie genre? Mocha-mentary.
51. People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning. No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.
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Espresso Jokes
52. Why did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their espresso before it was cool.
53. How is divorce like espresso? It’s expensive and bitter.
54. What do you call an espresso after a bad day? Depresso.
55. Why did the espresso keep checking its watch? Because it was pressed for time.
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56. Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso? It’s a cheap shot.
57. Why don't coffee beans ever get into arguments? They prefer to espresso themselves peacefully.
58. Why are Italians so good at making coffee? Because they know how to espresso themselves.
59. Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.
60. What’s a coffee’s favorite spell? Espresso Patronum!
61. What do you call a coffee shop with no customers? Depressoing.
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Latte Jokes
62. Drinking too much espresso can cause a latte problems.
63. What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together? A latte love.
64. What did the coffee say to the latte after they spilled hot milk on each other? "Hey, don't mocha me angry!"
65. Why don't coffee beans ever get tired? They have a latte energy.
66. What did the two coffee-loving besties say to each other? Thanks a latte for me being my friend.
67. What do you call a latte with a coffee drink with a great personality? A delatte.
68. I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
69. How do you know if you've found the perfect coffee house? They have latte good seating.
70. What’s an attorney’s favorite drink? A LAW-te.
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Barista Jokes
71. What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
72. Why was the barista fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
73. What did the gossiping baristas do? Spill the beans.
74. What’s a barista’s favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind!
75. What do baristas say to their least favorite customers? You mocha me crazy!
