Acts of aggression dampen the world, but simple displays of kindness make a difference

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” –– Aesop

Our world is not always a kind place to live. It seems that people have become more rude as the years go by – more surly, cynical and divisive as time passes.

Still, we as human beings must take on this challenge and make sure kindness prevails despite the gruff.

A friend recently mentioned her encounters with strangers as she ran errands. At the grocery store, she noticed an elderly man struggling with his grocery bags while also trying to manage his cane. My friend offered to help him with his groceries. He looked at her and asked, “You’ll do that for me?” She responded, “Of course I will.” She placed his bags in her cart and followed him to his car.

“I’ve never had anyone do something like this for me,” he told her as she put the groceries on his back seat. “You are very kind.”

“I’m happy to help,” she replied.

My friend's acts of kindness benefited strangers

Her next errand took her to the Post Office, where she saw an older woman trying to get two large packages out of her car. “Let me help you with those,” my friend told her. She walked slowly with the packages so the woman could keep up and placed the wrapped boxes on the counter in front of a postman.

She then stood in line and waited her turn.

Her next stop was a car dealership. While waiting for her car to be serviced, she struck up a conversation with another older man. The man was so grateful for her company that as he was leaving the dealership he returned from his car to thank her. He said he’d never met anyone like her.

My friend was just being herself that day, and she expected nothing in return. She is African American and didn’t know either of the people, who happened to be white. It was obvious that her actions benefitted the people she encountered but also her own wellbeing. From the vibrancy of her conversation with me, it was clear she was feeling exceptionally good despite her serious illness.

“Why aren’t other people more kind?” she asked. “This is a tough world.”

Her comment made me ponder the true essence of kindness. It is the quality of being friendly, considerate and generous. It is being compassionate, caring and selfless. It is choosing to do something that helps others without self-benefit; it is doing good and putting the needs of others before your own concerns.

Kindness is good for our mental health and well-being

Yet, kindness makes the person performing the good deed feel good herself. Helping others can improve support networks and encourage us to be more active. This improves self-esteem. Research shows there are personal benefits of being kind to others: You feel happier and tend to be more positive overall. Kind people are likeable and consequently have more opportunities to develop meaningful relationships – even love.

Being kind doesn’t cost anything and doesn’t take much time. It does not necessarily require preparation and can be as simple as a smile or nod or word of encouragement. And kindness is great for our own happiness and health.

Recently I read about a flight attendant who moved a young mother and her toddler from a packed row to one that had an empty seat so they would be more comfortable. The mother was grateful. However, the woman who was seated in that row became irate and complained loudly about sharing the space with a child. She was a prime example of what it’s like to be unkind and live in an unkind world.

Why are so many airline passengers so unruly?

It seems that air travel generates numerous stories about people who are unkind. Some travelers are rude to other passengers, and sometimes to the flight attendants. Consider the person who takes off his shoes and socks to expose smelly feet. What about the person who adjusts his seat with no consideration for  the safety and comfort of the person sitting behind them?

Flight attendants have been threatened, spat on, cursed and assaulted.

Just as bizarre as some airplane stories are anecdotes about dangerously rude people who shoot at those who pull onto their property. Sometimes the so-called trespassers are lost; at other times they are simply trying to deliver a package. These shooters are the epitome of those who make his world an unkind place.

Along with them are the road rage monsters who are angered by bad drivers but also by those who have the audacity to protest their own bad driving. Here in Memphis, a 73-year-old Nashville man was a victim of road rage in recent months. His brother was driving and honked when a car sped around them in the bike lane. When they pulled up next to the errant car, the driver fired three rounds from an AR-15. One of the bullets struck and killed the Nashville man.

Yes, the roadways are unkind and unforgiving. That’s why a little kindness from us all can go a long way. For example, when traffic is merging, be kind and allow a car to move into your lane ahead of you. And don’t blow your horn when a driver is slow to respond to a green light. Will a few seconds really make a difference?

Sometimes this world can be challenging and even mean. That’s why it is important to treat each other with care and concern. Kindness is an important virtue, a valuable asset. Regardless of your position in life, regardless of your financial status, extend kindness to others and let it be just a part of who you are as a person. Kindness will benefit not only the recipient of your graciousness, but also you as a human being.

Lynn Norment, a columnist for The Commercial Appeal, is a former editor for Ebony Magazine.

This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Kindness makes the world better. Stop unnecessary aggression