'Bacon’ Wine Is Coming—But it Doesn’t Taste Like or Use Bacon

Few food items get people as excited as bacon. Its crispy goodness is enough to elevate even the most mundane dish into winner. Meanwhile, if you’re starting with something that’s already great and then add bacon—well, holy hell—now you’re in for a real treat. So could it get any better than this... Bacon wine?! The name conjures up a glass of vino accentuated with all the amazing meaty essences of bacon. Except that it’s only a name: Though the product is real, it doesn’t have the aromas or taste of bacon and doesn’t even use bacon anywhere in its production process. Talk about bacon appropriation!

In what turns out to be one of the most disappointing product announcements of all time, Guarachi Wine Partners—“a well-established marketer and innovator of fine wine for 33 years”—has launched Bacon, a new Rhone style red wine from California’s Central Coast that has, uh, almost nothing to do with bacon.

“The dark, red fruits with hints of peppery spice, wrap around bold, rich and juicy flavors that embody a wine created specifically to compliment any meal – just like America’s most craved food: Bacon,” the company states. Yeah, turns out this is just some sort of metaphorical “bacon” wine. It’s like naming a wine “Sex” just to get attention and then claiming that your wine is as good as sex. That would seem pretty subjective.

“The vision behind Bacon came from my desire to create a one-of-a-kind wine that could be enjoyed by the masses,” Alex Guarachi, CEO of Guarachi Wine Partners, said in a statement. “I recognized an opportunity with the premiumization and customization of domestic blends, and set out to create something special. In doing so, we added fruit from my Napa Valley Estate (Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah encompassing 15% of the blend) and found the perfect balance to produce amazing quality with the right taste profile. Bacon is not just another commodity, it’s a lifestyle; a staple for every meal. Plus, the fact is: who doesn’t love Bacon?”

Question noted, but here’s the thing: Aiming to create something that can be “enjoyed by the masses” and that is built out an opportunity for “premiumization” isn’t how you make a great product. Often times, it’s better to work from the gut… also known as the belly… specifically, the belly of a pig… which is where bacon comes from. What I’m saying is that if you are going to release “Bacon” wine, put some damn bacon in there.