'Riverdale' Has Some Very Bad News for Varchie Fans
Who is the Gargoyle King? At various points throughout tonight’s episode, I became absolutely convinced it's: Hiram Lodge, Alice Cooper, Dr. Curdle Jr., Fred Andrews (he's been SUSPICIOUSLY absent throughout Archie’s prison break saga), FP Jones (why was he staring so creepily at Betty over Alice’s shoulder, HMMMM?) and Hiram Lodge again (now we have confirmation that he is pretty much a serial killer). The mystery continues, but that’s not the most troubling element of this episode.
This was a rough week for shippers. Varchie broke up because for once in his life Archie made a logical decision, while Bughead didn’t even get to say goodbye before Jughead headed out of town on a mysterious quest with Archie, and Betty was whisked away by the Sisters of Quiet Mercy…. who, in a plot twist, turn out to be under the thrall of the Gargoyle King. Let’s dig into the key events of "Manhunter."
1) Joaquin is sacrificed in Archie’s place.
After last week’s revelation that Joaquin has “joined a different gang,” Jughead and the Serpents track him down in the woods and interrogate him about why he shivved Archie. Disappointingly, Jughead does not ask why he kissed Archie before shivving him, which is clearly a more interesting question.
Joaquin reveals that the mysterious brand on Archie’s hip means “sacrifice,” and since Archie ended up surviving, that sacrifice still needs to be made. (Did the warden’s suicide not count as enough of a sacrifice? The rules of this whole G&G worship ritual are very unclear.) Joaquin finally reveals that the person behind all this is not the warden, but “the man in the black suit.” Later, Joaquin’s body is delivered to the Serpents, his forehead branded with the “sacrifice” symbol, and Jughead concludes that Archie needs to skip town before he’s next.
2) Jughead accuses Hiram Lodge of being the Gargoyle King.
Even before Joaquin’s revelation, all the signs to the true Gargoyle King are pointing Hiram’s way, since A) the warden was working for him, and B) he was the one who provided the drugs that got everyone high on Ascension Night. Betty gathers the Midnight Club at the speakeasy to figure out who was behind the poisoned chalice that killed Riverdale High’s principal back in the ‘90s, and makes it clear she’s suspicious of Hiram. Penelope Blossom claims that Daryl Doiley, Dilton’s father, poisoned the chalice and later committed suicide out of guilt, and while her story seems very, very bogus, it does allow for the delightfully alliterative line “Dilton Doiley’s dead dad did it?”
Betty later finds out from her coroner pal Dr. Curdle Jr. that Daryl did not commit suicide, but was poisoned with a herb that grows in Penelope Blossom’s greenhouse. Way too convenient for the actual culprit to be Penelope, but that doesn’t stop Betty from accusing her, like it’s not completely possible for anyone else in town to break into a greenhouse and steal a herb. Penelope points out that Alice is the one who wrote the article stating that Daryl’s death was a suicide.
Jughead, after getting the truth out of Joaquin, heads right to Hiram’s office and accuses him of being the Gargoyle King. Hiram denies it, and also seems to be trying very hard not to laugh at Jughead (“I’m not the Gargoyle King, because you know what? That’s not a real thing.”) He points out that Riverdale has no shortage of homicidal parents, and suggests that Jughead might want to take a closer look at his own father. Excuse me?!?
3) Veronica clears Archie’s name.
Because of course she does! Veronica discovers that the video footage of Sheriff Minetta interrogating the Shadow Lake crew has been edited and ten minutes are missing. Correctly intuiting that her dad wouldn’t destroy the evidence, Veronica finds the missing footage in her mom’s office within about ten seconds (because if I had an extremely incriminating piece of evidence that conclusively linked my husband to murder and obstruction of justice, I would definitely keep it on the desktop of my work computer in a conspicuously unmarked folder.) Hermione, you’ve been married to Hiram for at least two decades. How are you still this bad at crime?
Hiram may or may not be the Gargoyle King, but he does have the entire Shadow Lake gang killed by Sheriff Minetta to cover up his crimes. So once Veronica gets the evidence to Attorney McCoy and Archie’s conviction is overturned, Veronica gleefully suggests to her parents that if Minetta is going down, the Lodges may go down with him. Okay, but… at what point is Hiram going to decide to have his own daughter killed? She seems to his biggest problem.
4) Varchie is over.
At least for now. Even more startling than the actual breakup is the reasoning behind it, which is…. Archie making a logical decision? Despite Veronica clearing his name, Archie tells her he can’t come home, because as long as they’re together Hiram will never stop hunting him down. No lies detected!
“If you loved me you would come home,” Veronica cries, telling Archie that they’re “endgame,” and though Archie reaffirms how much he loves her, he also tells her that she knows deep down he’s right about this. Poor Veronica is crying hysterically, while Archie manages some stoical man tears, and now I’m thinking maybe Hiram is the one who should be afraid of Veronica, not the other way around. This will not stand!
5) Archie and Jughead are hopping a train out of town.
I’m not 100% sure whether Jughead is going with Archie, or just putting him on a train? On the one hand, Jughead not saying goodbye to Betty seems extremely weird if he’s skipping town. On the other hand, Jughead’s’s carrying a huge bag, and Archie keeps telling Veronica that he’s not leaving town alone, so let’s go ahead and assume this is a bro trip. But to where?
“I’m not letting you out of my sight,” Jughead tells Archie, which is good, since Archie’s version of going incognito appears to be “wandering freely around Riverdale wearing a baseball cap." If he’s going on the lam, he’s gonna need some help.
6) The Gargoyle King’s influence is spreading.
That guy is everywhere! Jughead tells Betty that at the end of "The Great Escape," he followed the Gargoyle King into a clearing where a bunch of his disciples were hanging out in gargoyle masks, suggesting that he’s assembling an army. Josie also becomes the latest student to have a seizure, while being interrogated by Sheriff Minetta at school, which may or may not suggest that Minetta is one of the Gargoyle King's pawns. (As Betty notes, there's still no clear pattern to what's causing the seizures, although Evelyn Evernever always seems to be around when they happen.)
Later, as a dramatic thunderstorm rages outside, Betty confronts Alice about the Daryl Doiley cover-up-and as they’re mid-fight, the power goes out in the Cooper house. Someone knocks menacingly at the door! The Gargoyle King is in their living room! And when they run upstairs to escape, Daryl Doiley’s ACTUAL BONES have been laid out in an upstairs bedroom alongside some creepy messages for Alice. Right at that moment, FP hops through the window all casual-like to console a panicked Alice, and Betty is suspicious! As am I! It’s hard to tell whether FP is really looking creepily at Betty in this shot, or if everything just looks creepy in a lightning storm.
Deciding that the Cooper house is no longer safe (which… was it ever?) Alice announces that she’s moving to the Farm. “Edgar said that you would resist, and we should send you elsewhere,” she ominously tells Betty, just as the Sisters of Quiet Mercy appears to take her away. Between this, FP chaining Jughead to the refrigerator, and Hiram’s general existence, this episode marked a real parenting low even by Riverdale standards. “We’re going to make you well,” Betty is told at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy-right before an art class in which every single student is drawing a different version of the Gargoyle King. Super!
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