Ashley Graham says building confidence is a 'daily practice.' Here are 5 ways she commits to self-love.

“You are bold, you are brilliant and you are beautiful.” Those are the words that Ashley Graham used to solidify her status as the original queen of confidence when she spoke to the power of affirmations during a TEDx talk in 2018.

The plus-size model already had a crown on her head when she became the first to make appearances on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit and Vogue in 2016 and 2017, respectively, as a size 16. People everywhere looked up to her for breaking barriers of what was considered the ideal body type at the time. And she was able to respond not just in her photos but also in her work as an advocate for size inclusivity.

Now she’s striving to make an impact on the next generation with her new children’s book, A Kid’s Book About Beauty. And although she’s positioning herself as a seasoned pro, she tells Yahoo Lifestyle that self-confidence is a daily practice.

Whether it’s utilizing affirmations, avoiding social media or simply wearing the right bra, Graham has many tools that she relies on, and is passing on to her three boys. Here’s what we can learn from her.

Keep up with affirmations

“Affirmations are so personal. They're ever changing and they're also a daily practice,” says Graham. “The more that you practice the words that are coming out of your mouth, that you're lining up with your heart and your mind, then this just becomes a regular thing like brushing your teeth.”

The three that she highlights in the book — “I am bold. I am brilliant. I am beautiful.” — are the affirmations that she came up with when she first started with the practice years ago.

”I am bold because I needed to remember that I was supposed to be where I was in my job. I was supposed to be bold with the decisions that I was making in my career and how I was showing up in the fashion industry,” she says. “I am brilliant because I was diagnosed with ADD [attention deficit disorder] and dyslexia at a young age and always was told that I'm not a great reader, I'm not great with my words and I'm not an excellent communicator — I needed to remember that I actually am all those things. And I am beautiful.”

She assumes that most think the latter comes easier to her, since she is a model after all. But that hasn’t been the case.

“In the fashion industry you're getting picked apart and your whole image is being manipulated by what others think that you should look like. So I needed to remind myself that I wasn't going to conform to what the fashion industry wanted me to be. I needed to remember that I was beautiful the way that God made me,” she says.

She views these affirmations as “a starting point for people” who want to get into the practice.

Make positive thinking a habit

Graham’s affirmations have proven how powerful words can be. So in her household, negative ones aren’t allowed.

“We definitely do a lot of corrective verbal behavior,” she says of herself and her husband, Justin Ervin, when it comes to their kids — 4-year-old Isaac and 2-year-old twins Roman and Malachi. They’re cautious of not only how they speak about themselves and the world around them, but also how people who come into their home do, like Graham’s mother or the boys' nanny. "If you really pare back and look at what is coming out of your mouth, you would really be shocked at the things that you're saying," she says. "So we do that basically in the micro at home with the kids.”

Having discussions about negative self-talk isn’t “a sit-down thing” but something that they address in the moment to make positive thinking a habit.

“We’re doing it at dinner, we're doing it while we're playing,” she says. “We don't over-compliment their exterior looks. We talk about their brain and their creativity and how they're inventors and they’re explorers. We give them those kinds of clues and insight as to how to even speak to themselves.”

Stay true to yourself, not trends

Graham is most certain that bodies are not a trend. And while narratives about diet culture and weight loss are experiencing a resurgence, she stays emboldened by continued conversations about inclusivity.

“I'm never going to be afraid of what I think is happening in the zeitgeist because what I think is most important is that people stay true to who they are. That's it,” she says. “What I am proud of is that people are still talking about how our bodies are big, small, all different ages, saggy, tight.”

Despite any efforts against that, she knows it’s the reality of how diverse human bodies are and how they will always be.

“What I know is that my body is not a trend, and that my body has always been a norm,” she says. “There's going to be trends of diets, we've seen all of them. There's going to be trends of fashion and there's going to be trends of people that are popular and not. But the one thing that I know has never gone away has been women who are curvy, who are plus-size, whatever you want to call yourself, however you want to identify — got some meat on your bones — that's never going to go away. Because we are people and our bodies fluctuate.”

Get off social media

Whether it’s forever or for just a short period of time, Graham believes strongly in disconnecting from platforms like Instagram and shutting oneself off from the opinions of others.

“I have a coat of armor now that I didn't have prior to social media and prior to really putting myself out there on social media. But if you read the comments constantly, if you look at the DMs, if you start to dissect what people are saying, then it will get under your skin and it will affect you, 100%,” she says. “Right now, I have Instagram deleted. It’s like summer vacation — all the kids went on summer break, well I turned off Instagram. You need to have these breaks in life. We're not meant to know and read everybody's thoughts and feelings and opinions on you.”

She also encourages unfollowing or blocking accounts that may be detrimental to your mental health or body image. “Figure out who you are not through somebody else's eyes, but through your own eyes,” she says. “People are really doing it through social media. And it's not productive for the long term.”

Wear a good bra

Last but not least, a proper-fitting bra is key to Graham feeling confident, sexy and self-assured on any given day.

“For me, it just always starts with the bra. If my bra is sagging, or if the girls aren't under my chin, I’m not feeling confident,” she says. “Because I feel like I could wear a paper sack and feel so gorgeous, as long as the bra is bra-ing.”