'Bachelor' Season 23, Week 9 Recap: Is Colton Out of Options?

Photo credit: ABC
Photo credit: ABC

From Cosmopolitan

Because she's been there and done that, literally, former Bachelor contestant/tear fountain Ashley Iaconetti is recapping this season of The Bachelor for Cosmopolitan. With insider insight as well as a clear eye for what's going down both in front of and behind the cameras, read on for her thoughts.

This post contains spoilers for last night's episode of The Bachelor.


I told you last week you were in for the most dramatic episode ever, but maybe I should said the most dramatic half episode ever. Obviously, I had yet to see Tayisha’s date which was a total snoozefest for about 30 minutes-they needed to stretch her scenes out because they didn’t have Hannah G.’s to include. Tayisha’s date did finish up on an interesting note, because she seemed a lot less enthusiastic about Colton after their overnight. She talked a big game going into it. I think she legit thought she may be Colton’s first. Tayisha admitted the next morning that did not happen. She even alluded to Colton’s sexual inexperience being quite obvious in the fantasy suite. No shame in a virgin being nervous in a sexualized environment, but I think Tayisha didn’t expect it because he seems very at ease on romantic dates. Her tone when speaking about Colton seemed as unsure about Colton that morning as Cassie did for the rest of the episode.

Photo credit: ABC
Photo credit: ABC

Last week, Cassie first started demonstrating some hesitance over her feelings for Colton. She didn’t feel like she was falling in love yet...and seemed like her family was picking up on this. Cassie’s dad didn’t give Colton his blessing for marriage. Cassie and Colton’s date in Portugal seemed to be going dandy, until this issue was brought up. Cassie wasn’t happy about her dad’s decision, but I was confused: if she admittedly wasn’t in love with Colton during hometown week, why would she want her dad to give Colton permission to have her hand in marriage? Just when Cassie could really use a Dad chat, lo and behold, Papa Randolph was waiting at her hotel when she went back to get ready for the night portion of their date.

She kept saying she was confused about her feelings. Her dad told her she would know for sure when she was with the right person, but I really just think he doesn’t want his 23-year-old daughter to get engaged to someone she’s only known for 8 weeks (and who has dated other people the entire time). You don’t always know when you meet the person. My fiancé wasn’t sure about me for at least two years! I feel like at least a quarter of married couples started out as "just friends." I’ll say, you definitely need to be sure when you get down on one knee or when you accept a proposal, but you don’t need to know your spouse is the one the moment you meet them, or even 8 weeks into a relationship.

Photo credit: ABC
Photo credit: ABC

My hope was that Cassie would tell Colton something along these lines of,“my dad came over today. We both discussed how we feel it's best if I don’t get engaged at the end of this. I’m not ready and I want to get to know you more, and maybe date outside the Bachelor Bubble. Would it change your mind about me if this was my plan?” That didn’t happen. She just seemed to...not want to be with him. She even admitted to planning her departure. The question I’m asking myself is how long was she contemplating this move?

Colton told Cassie that she was the one, the only person he wanted to be with or fight for. He told her that he loved her many times including the very convincing, “I’m fucking in love with you.” There was so much emotion and pain behind that. I was thinking for a little while that production wouldn’t allow Colton to suggest to Cassie that he didn’t have to propose. But then, he spent the last 20 minutes of the episode telling Cassie they didn’t need to get engaged, he just wanted to be with her. After debating her feelings and actions for over 20 aired minutes, she left Colton saying she wanted him to be with someone who is insanely in love with him. Ummm, DAGGERRRRR. What a backhanded way of saying, "lol, I’m not insanely in love with you." Ouch.

Photo credit: ABC
Photo credit: ABC

I wonder, did Cassie think that after he told her that she was “the one” that Colton was just going to go ahead and pursue a relationship with one of his “second choices”? Because there’s no way at this point Colton can continue his relationships with Tayisha or Hannah G…right?! Could you imagine him picking one of one of them and then she sees that 30 minute scene of his heart breaking and calling her the one. That being said, Rachel’s break up with her runner up Peter seemed similarly (but not quite as) heart wrenching on TV, and she and Bryan are getting married in August. Desiree also broke down when her second runner up Brooks left her on the show, but now she and Chris have been married for four years. However, in those scenarios the terms “love” or “the one” were never thrown around.

Can we just talk about for a second about how badly we feel for Colton right now? Have you ever had your heart so shattered that you start shaking like him? I have. Your whole body tenses. It’s all the daydreams you had about your future together fading away. The feeling he was going through is so dooming, so frantic. Jumping over a fence and running away is really the best way I can imagine coping. Colton probably felt completely betrayed by the show, as if they knew this was coming for weeks and orchestrated it all. I think in hindsight he will know that while this is great TV, all the people involved would have preferred he get his happily ever after. I think Colton jumped over the fence for a number of reasons: frustration, feeling lead on, and the need to escape the place his heart broke. He was sitting in a room in which I think he imagined losing his virginity, just before he hit the driveway pavement.

We are left with so many questions we hope to get answered next week. Was Cassie lying to him for weeks like Tayisha and Katie insinuated? Does Colton go after Cassie? Do they ever find Colton in Portugal? (Yes. We know he’s alive and well and did not get his passport before running away). Does he go on a date with Hannah G.??

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