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I Can't Stop Laughing At These People Who Absolutely Roasted Their Entire Lives Into Oblivion

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1.On mistakes:

person who asks out another person and they say they never make mistakes and the person responds you swiped right on me so that is one

2.On hiding:

someone posits a million dollar game of hide and go seek and says where would you hide and someone says my bday party

3.On dads:

someone is taping their dads stuff to the ceiling and responds saying to everyone saying I should stick myself up there; it has to be something people would look for

4.On amoebas:

person saying they had a brain eating amoeba once and the poor fella died hungry
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5.On anger:

person asks how would you piss up a room full of people and someone responds show up

6.On stupidity:

someone texts are you stupid cause there is always a u in stupid and they respond there's an i in stupid too oh wait no

7.On wardrobes:

someone says no one in the world has the exact same wardrobe as you and someone responds I'm gonna call that a real good thing for them

8.On heights:

someone saying I could strangle you someone says you aren't tall enough and someone says you've sunk low enough for me to reach

9.On Antarctica:

someone says Antarctica probably has the highest average IQ and another responds I am going to go there and balance it out

10.On the beautiful things:

someone saying an iPhone is the ugliest thing they've seen and they look in the mirror every day

11.On skunks:

someone posits if a person would live with skunks for 100,000 and a person responds sure if they don't mind my smell

12.On kindred spirits:

someone says if you are one in a million there are 7K people like you to which someone responds poor bastards

13.On cavemen:

someone asks without taking any objects with you how could you impress a caveman and someone responds with my weak-ass physical form

14.On conversation:

someone asks guys whats a good way for a girl to start a conversation with you and someone responds smile and ask to join me and then realize their mistake

15.On intimacy:

someone asks if you had to describe your sex life with a song title what would it be and someone responds "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

16.On making money:

someone asks you get one dollar for every time you mildly inconvenience someone how do you start earning money and someone responds I start existing

17.On spotlights:

someone shows a picture of a trash can with a spotlight on it and someone says when the class settles down for me to present my project

18.On Cats:

someone says they like the new "Cats" movie because it was the only time their parents were disappointed in something other than them

19.On spirits:

someone asks what is your spirit plant and a person responds it is a rhododendron because they require very specific conditions and are unlikely to thrive

20.On crushes:

someone asks what screams I have a crush on you, and someone responds not my crush for sure

21.On phones:

someone says their phone is always on silent, and there is a response that reads, my phone is silent all the time

22.And on 2004:

someone saying 2004 is a great year and 2020 should be like 2004, and someone responds, I was born in 2004 so it can't be great
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