'Sister Wives' star Christine Brown explains why polygamy was an 'emotionally difficult lifestyle'

Unapologetically is a Yahoo Life series in which people get the chance to share how they live their best life — out loud and in color, without fear or regret — looking back at the past with a smile and embracing the future with excited anticipation.

Christine Brown is forging her own path — and having a lot of fun doing it.

In 2021, the star of Sister Wives left her husband Kody Brown who, as a member of the Apostolic United Brethren, a sect of the Mormon religion, is also the spouse of wives Robyn, Janelle and Meri. Now, Brown, who shares six children with her ex, is a single woman — ready to see where her new life takes her and giving herself the "grace," she says, to "just be me."

"I am changing, I have changed," she tells Yahoo Life. "I’m just looking forward with more positivity."

One thing she’s prioritizing in her life now is less seriousness.

"I just believe in being fun more than anything," the reality star, whose new life is documented on the TLC show, shares. "Who I am in my core is just fun and I want to have as much fun as possible. And so I really try to incorporate fun in everything that I do, honestly. And then I can just be me, you know?"

The 50-year-old says she regularly thinks about her ex and the life she led with her sister wives, who were "supportive" of her decision to leave. Now, however, she says, "there's no filter anymore in how I see myself. I just see myself — versus seeing myself through the filter of somebody else."

"It's an emotionally difficult lifestyle," she admits of polygamy. "Just thinking, 'Am I a wife here? Am I not a wife? You know, where am I as far as a wife goes?' But now I don't have to worry about being a wife. I can just be me, which is a lot more fun."

That includes feeling "sexy" — something that she says was a challenge during her days as the third wife.

"I don't think that I felt like I could be sexy because there's also three other women married to Kody — so I felt like I needed to be more respectful than that," she shares. "I never really turned the sexy on, basically. But now, yeah, absolutely. I think, as women, we should feel sexy every day and that doesn't come from anybody else's perspective or anybody else's opinion of whoever thinks you're sexy. That just comes from inside."

Brown says that in their church, one is often taught not to prioritize one’s sexuality. Instead, she notes, "you're going to be ladylike and you're going to be elegant and you're going to carry yourself in a way that everybody around you feels comfortable, which I still think is the best thing to do."

By that, she explains, "it's more about seeing everybody else's needs and what everybody else needs around you rather than what you feel like you need. You know, you want to be the best sister wife ever in this whole big group of people, so everybody feels comfortable. I wasn't a suppressing [of] anything, it was just a different mentality. And the mentality that I had for being a sister wife was also fine in that lifestyle — it's just different now."

Brown hopes to "romantically date" in the future. She’s casually gone out with people, but hasn’t yet found anyone she wants to seriously get involved with. Right now, she just wants to focus on getting to know herself as an individual.

"No more than, like, two dates a person — let's just keep it completely casual and easy," she says of the current plan. "But eventually, yes, sign me up for a romantic relationship eventually, definitely — but not yet."

—Video produced by Stacy Jackman and Olivia Schneider

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