Self-proclaimed cougar Hattie Wiener, 86, says aging women are faced with 'anti-sexual' stereotypes
At 86 years old, Hattie Wiener is as open about her sexuality as ever. But as she ages, the sexologist, who previously starred on the TLC series Extreme Cougar Wives, says that she has a new perspective on her approach to relationships.
"I always want more," she said during an appearance on the StyleLikeU series What’s Underneath. "I’m stopping casual sex."
The creator of Sexquisite Aging is known best for her tagline of being a "committed virgin until 22 and committed slut from 55 on," and for sharing her journey of embracing sexuality in her older age. Her mission behind that is "communicating freedom," she shared in her latest interview.
"Being a cougar or an older woman who f***s young guys or f***s altogether, there’s all sorts of stereotypes that go along with being old and most of them are anti sexual," she explained. "And so as you would imagine, I just used all those stereotypes and did the opposite."
Wiener's journey as the public knows it today started when she was 55 and began to put out newspaper ads stating that she was "looking for a supremely sexual man under 35" after she had separated with her husband of 25 years. Since then, she's been using her escapades to make a point about older women and their sexuality.
"Most people like the idea that I’m having sex, mostly because of how I look. Now, if I looked like a typical 80 something year old, maybe people would say, 'Who would f*** that wrinkled mass?'" she said. "People are allowed to love babies with their vomit and with their smelly diapers, but they’re not allowed to love themselves in the same way. Now, I’m not saying you should have a smelly diaper, but make sure that you do what you do need to feel good."
For Wiener, her appearance as she ages isn't something that holds her back from doing just that.
"I look and I ask myself, 'Do these wrinkles really matter to me?' They don’t. What matters to me is muscle, these muscles," she said, pointing to her legs. "I don’t want to insult my body. There has to be a way to honor what time takes and what time gives and that’s what I live with."
She's also recognized that what's on the outside is less meaningful than what she has to offer from her heart.
"I feel most beautiful when I’m being most real, most kind, most good. If I’m looking at someone and I see that how I speak to them matters, I feel beautiful for that," she said. "I feel brave. It takes a long time to stop hiding cause what you’re hiding is who you are."
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