Dear Richard Madeley: ‘How can my wife and I share the burden of cooking?’
Dear Richard,
I work in an office full-time and my wife works at home. Partly for historic reasons, partly because I enjoy it more, I do most of the cooking. This has led to tensions over mealtimes: I don’t get home until after seven, later if I have a drink with colleagues, and I’m often confronted with a ‘hangry’ spouse and a sense that we’ll have a falling out if I don’t get to work in the kitchen straight away.
We have explored various compromises but none is particularly congenial to my wife – the ‘prep’ part of cooking, chopping up vegetables and so on, is the part she hates. We have tried ‘meal kits’ but I have been consistently disappointed by them. Consequently we’re going out or ordering in more than the household budget would ideally support. Can you suggest some strategies?
— Mark, via telegraph.co.uk
Dear Mark,
This domestic arrangement is demonstrably unfit for purpose. I completely understand how you’ve both gradually drifted down this route but you’re running out of road and need a change of direction, or a simmering problem is going to boil over into something worse.
Mark, I think most people reading your letter would feel that your wife’s expectations are somewhat unreasonable. Surely you’re entitled to take a breath before you start chopping? You’re doing your best. And if she is reluctant to help out by doing some of the prep… well, what can I say? She really can’t have it both ways.
So, here’s my suggestion. I too enjoy cooking and happily do most of it in our household, but when I know I have a busy work week ahead of me, I prepare as much as I can in advance. So why don’t you set an hour or so aside at the weekend and do some batch-cooking?
Let cling film, foil, fridge and freezer be your friends and you’ll find you can knock up, say, three delicious dishes for the week ahead. You can still cook on the day if you’re home in time; but mostly, all your wife will have to do is pop something in the oven before you get back. I’m sure she can manage that.
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