What does being ‘demure’ mean? Explaining the internet’s latest trend
First it was brat summer. Now social media users and celebrities are embracing a demure fall.
Flaunting choices and styles that are “very demure” is TikTok's latest trend. It's all about being mindful, very cutesy and most importantly — not doing too much.
The trend exploded on TikTok this month after an Aug. 2 video from creator Jools Lebron went viral. In the clip, Lebron demonstrates how she styles her hair and does her makeup for work. "Very demure," she dubs the look.
Lebron posted another video three days later, this time on how to be “demure and modest and respectful at the work place,” which raked in more than 35 million views and more than 3.5 million likes, leading her to reach more than 1.7 million followers on TikTok.
“See how I look very presentable? The way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job,” she says in the Aug. 5 TikTok. “I’m very modest, I’m very mindful.”
She’s since gone on to post dozens of videos explaining how to be demure, mindful and cutesy in any situation — from doing choreography to attending a drag show — sending social media users and celebrities alike into a craze of “demurity.”
According to TikTok analytics, interest in posts tagged #demure has spiked since Aug. 7, with more than 138,000 videos posted with the hashtag in the past seven days in the U.S., and 285,000 videos posted with the hashtag overall.
And the term has now gone beyond TikTok; memes using the word demure have gone viral on X, with one X user declaring “demure” to be the word of the week. Their post got more than 590,000 views and more than 18,000 likes.
Celebrities and brands also quickly jumped on the trend. Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis posted from the set of the "Freaky Friday" sequel about being "demure" and "mindful." Taylor Swift's "Eras Tour" backup dancer Kameron Saunders poked fun at a recent fall by calling his recovery "veryyyy demure." And Netflix posted a “Gilmore Girls” clip of Rory being described as “the demurest” as she ordered a club soda.
Here's what to know about the trend, which has led thousands of TikTokers — and beyond — on a quest to be very mindful, very cutesty and very demure.
What is ‘demure’?
At its most basic definition, demure is “affectedly modest, reserved, or serious,” according to Merriam-Webster.
But on TikTok, being demure is a play on pick-me girls, or a girl who claims she “isn’t like the other girls,” and also appears to be poking fun at the “clean girl” aesthetic.
The “clean girl” trend, also known as “vanilla girl,” is all about being effortless, and is often associated with having a natural and minimal look, journaling and meditating.
Lebron posted her first “demure” video on Aug. 2 after posting product reviews and “get ready with me” content for several years. She’s since posted dozens of examples of “demurity” in many different situations over the past few weeks.
From exiting a plane to thanking hotel staff, or more obscure events, like leaving a Cirque du Soleil show, Lebron has shown how to be demure in several situations.
“How to keep your dental care demure through mental health struggles,” she titled one video from Aug. 11, explaining how she didn’t take care of her teeth when she was depressed, but now has been taking her dental care seriously.
“Oral rinses, very expensive toothpastes, very nice toothbrush — very demure with it,” she explains.
The creator’s newfound fame has led her to attend events in New York City with makeup artist Patrick Ta, and she even “got demured,” as she put it, as she was filming a video on how to be demure in the car and was recognized by a fan through the open car window.
Lebron, who is transgender and uses she/her pronouns, addressed how her life has changed in the span of a few weeks in an Aug. 14 TikTok.
“Maybe you should make the videos,” she said. “Because one day I was playing cashier and making videos on my break, and now I’m flying across the country to host events, and I’m going to be able to finance the rest of my transition.”
Lebron even appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Aug. 19 with guest host RuPaul Charles, the host of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
“I spent the weekend watching this video of a very demure TikToker named Jools Lebron,” RuPaul said. “That TikTok has been viewed more than 33 million times, and you know, I love it so much, I asked Jools to come and be on the show. So we tracked her down, and here she is tonight!”
Lebron smiled and waved to thunderous applause from the audience, before telling RuPaul how she was doing tonight: “Very demure. Very mindful.”
RuPaul then asked what was going through her mind when she recorded her now-viral TikTok.
“Well, apparently the trauma that comes from working a retail job gets enough to you that you start saying demure on the internet,” she replied, giving a shoutout to Mariano’s, a grocery store chain in Illinois, calling it “very cutesy, very demure.”
Lebron also shared what being demure means to her.
“I feel like demure is like a mindset. I used to be crazy and out of control, and then I found some ‘demurity,’” she explained. “And along with that came success!”
RuPaul replied: “Demurity?”
“Demurity is my purity,” Lebron quipped, sending RuPaul into laughter.
More than 13,000 people have posted videos using Lebron’s audio from her how to be demure at work TikToks, including “RuPaul’s Drag Race” star Bob the Drag Queen.
Other social media stars have poked fun at the trend, like Campbell Puckett, better known as “Pookie,” who showed how she eats a croissant demurely, and Haley Kalil, a lifestyle influencer who explained how she blocks her ex with class.
Lebron told RuPaul that she thought the most surprising celebrity to take on the demure trend was Jennifer Lopez, “because she finally revealed what that orange drink from the block was,” she said.
RuPaul asked what the drink was.
“Demure,” Lebron replied with a smile.
Lebron did not respond to a request for comment from TODAY.com, but she did add a #demure hashtag in the caption of her post, because she is very cutesy and very mindful.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
