Why HGTV's Erin Napier refuses to buy her kids smartphones: 'Childhood is so short'
Erin Napier is opening up about her stance on smartphones for kids.
On Thursday, the HGTV star took to social media to share a personal anecdote about the toxicity of social media, arguing that she could never have grown up in the age of smartphones — and she doesn't think her children should either.
The Home Town star, who has two daughters, 4-year-old Helen and 1-year-old Mae, with husband Ben Napier, shared an old photo of herself from high school on Instagram, sharing she was a "sensitive artistic kid" who would have crumbled under the "crushing pressure" of living her life online.
"This was me in 11th grade," she wrote. "Smartphones did not exist. I loved making art and doing photography with the Canon SLR I bought with my money from making tips playing music at the coffee shop downtown."
She added that she routinely "took photos of things I liked" and "had them printed and pasted" into an album and "showed them to my parents, my best friends," who "encouraged me so I kept at it, making art, trying new things. Feeling confident, not at all worried about if any other girls in my class were into that sort of thing.
"I am so thankful I grew up without the crushing pressure of social media," she explained.
Social media for teenagers, she noted, is the "harshest criticism of all, and worst of all a distorted and broken and misguided kind of critic who sets these young people without their fully developed emotional minds on the wrong path."
Napier said she believes social media "is a place for adults who know who and what they are," which is why she, her husband and their friends "have made an agreement that until our kids are grown, they won't have smart phones bought on our dime. That way, they can't say 'but all my friends have one.' Is it mean to keep them from communicating with smartphones? I don't care. I’m also keeping them from finding a distorted picture of who they think they need to be, porn, hate, the criticism of strangers."
"Childhood is so short," she concluded. "We're gonna savor every last second of our girls that we can. I bet lots of you feel the same way and have had success and I would love to hear about it!"
The response welcomed an array of feedback from parents with similar concerns:
"As a high school teacher who competes against devices for my students' attention every day, and a mother of 4 teenagers, I agree with your choice," one commenter wrote. "It's not just social media, it's what the constant use of phones/screens is doing to our kids' brains. It's the inability to make eye contact or have a face to face conversation. It's the lack of connection, trouble processing, and inability to self-regulate emotions when there isn’t immediate gratification. It's horrible and it will absolutely, permanently alter how people deal with life. Fixing it has to start at home."
"I have a sweet 16 boy who still doesn’t have a cellphone and he's self assured and not afraid to be himself and still has a lovely childlike sweetness," another parent shared. "We don't regret for a second our choice."
"You are wise to plan for their safety now," a commenter added. "We never allowed computers anywhere but the kitchen/living room: I wanted a visual at all times. No televisions in the bedrooms. All three did have phones around the time they turned 16. We used to tell them the phone was their electronic leash! If we call; they better answer. Also, the phone and car were what we held over them for any infractions. Good luck mamma!"
The Napiers have been open about their parenting style before, including the fact that, for this holiday season, they're choosing to limit the amount of gifts their daughters will receive.
"Something she wants, something she needs, something to wear and something to read — so four gifts each," Napier told Yahoo Life earlier this month.
"The most modest one will come from Santa," she added. "It's something we want to be conscious of because I read somewhere about kids going to school after Christmas comparing what Santa brought them. And the kids who didn't get such a huge, extravagant gift, they wonder 'does Santa not love me as much?' We're trying to shift the focus."
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