This Viral Video Of A Woman Rejecting A Man's Creepy Advances At Work Shows What Women Deal With On A Regular Basis, And It's Disgusting
BuzzFeed
4 min read
Kayla Governor is a 24-year-old bartender and student who recently went viral on TikTok for sharing the treatment she received from a male customer during one of her shifts.
In the video, which has been viewed over 1.8 million times, Kayla can be heard rejecting the man's advances. She told BuzzFeed that while the conversation started out as "casual" with some "innocent flirting," it soon turned in to him trying to get her to come back to his hotel room so he could "show her a good time" with cocaine.
As Kayla continues to tell the man she isn't interested, he keeps pushing with gross comments, such as, "You seem like the type...I think you need it." And, "It's the least you could do...because I took good care of you today. You made so much money off of me."
The video ends with the man asking Kayla, "Have you ever drank before?" And Kayla, clearly trying to get rid of him without causing a scene, responding, "I drink at my church."
For all the women who have had to deal with unwanted attention from creepy men at work, let's all do a collective gag.
MTV
When BuzzFeed reached out to Kayla, she said that the interaction started out as nothing new. "At first I felt normal. This happens to me almost every time I’m working. Men like to flirt. Then, for the first time ever at work, I actually got scared and very uncomfortable. ... This has been happening to me since I started waitressing at the age of 18. It has never really been to this extent, but it’s always happened."
Starz
She decided to share her experience on TikTok in order to "show other people what it’s like being a woman in this business." And, according to the comments, it definitely struck a chord.
Kayla told BuzzFeed, "I think this honestly shows that women are still looked at as objects and property. I’m doing my job, and my job happens to be serving alcohol. That doesn’t make it okay for men to act like I owe them something else. Then, I’m put in the position to be as polite as I can because it’s my job to be."
Aside from the comments agreeing with Kayla, plenty of people chimed in and asked why she simply didn't ask the man to leave or start acting rude toward him. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. According to a 2021 study conducted by One Fair Wage, 71% of surveyed female restaurant workers reported being sexually harassed at least once during their time in the industry. And those who relied on tips in order to make a living wage reported much higher cases of sexual harassment than those who did not work for tips. Because, spoiler alert, they had to continue enduring harassment for fear of losing out on money.
CBS
Kayla corroborated this issue while speaking with BuzzFeed: "I think bartending is a complicated job. My sole purpose is to make money. Just like everyone else, I have bills, school, and basic needs to pay for. However, I was told many times in comments, 'Just be rude to men.' How can I make any money if I’m rude to every single man that flirts with me? 99% of the men I've served have flirted with me at least a little bit. It’s difficult to be rude when you know a tip is on the line."
She continued, "That may seem selfish or even stupid, but at the end of the day, I need to make money. Without tips, I’m going home with less than $4 an hour. It’s really hard being a woman in the service industry. You never know how men are going to react."
And, of course, because of how she responded to the man's advances in the video, Kayla also received some comments accusing her of "leading him on" (ugh). To which Kayla responded, "From my perspective, I was being as nice as I could while turning him down multiple times. I’m not going to yell at this man and threaten him. I have no idea what he was capable of or willing to do. My life was not worth losing. That's the most extreme case, but you really never know what anyone is capable of, especially while drinking."
Kayla, thank you so much for sharing your story and shedding light on something so many women deal with on a regular basis.
CBS