Gisele Bündchen Opens Up About Suffering Panic Attacks, Saying She Considered Suicide

Photo credit: Clasos - Getty Images
Photo credit: Clasos - Getty Images

From Cosmopolitan

Photo credit: Clasos - Getty Images
Photo credit: Clasos - Getty Images

Gisele Bündchen is pulling a Blake Lively and letting people know her life isn't as perfect as it looks on the outside. In a new interview with People, she opened up about her new book and what it was like to write about her struggle with anxiety.

“Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on,” she said. “I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences.”

In Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, Gisele wrote how at the peak of her career, after landing a record-breaking $25 million contract with Victoria's Secret, she had really terrible anxiety.

She had her first panic attack in 2003, and then she developed claustrophobia, and she felt guilty for having these problems when her life was seemingly going so well. "I felt powerless," she said. "Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”

She even contemplated killing herself at one point. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,’" she said.

That's when she realized she had to make some changes in her life. She started seeing a specialist who put her on Xanax, but she didn't want to rely on pills, so she cut out smoking, alcohol, and sugar and started mediating and doing yoga. At the time, she was dating Leonardo DiCaprio, and they broke up.

“I thought, if this stuff is in any way the cause of this pain in my life, it’s gotta go.”

Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life hits shelves on October 2. You can preorder it here. PRE-ORDER NOW

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