Gisele Bündchen Reveals Crippling Panic Attacks Led to Suicidal Thoughts
When you look at Gisele Bündchen’s life and career, it can be easy to assume that it’s been nothing but perfect: she is one of the top-paid models in the world, married to all-star quarterback Tom Brady, has walked in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and is a mother to two children. But from the outside looking in, things aren’t always as they seem. In her new memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, the Bündchen reveals that she once battled panic attacks so crippling that she experienced suicidal thoughts.
In an interview with People, the supermodel explains why she decided to open up about her mental health struggles. “I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences,” she said.
Bündchen’s first panic attack occurred during a turbulent flight on a small plane in 2003, and she soon developed a fear of enclosed spaces such as tunnels, elevators, hotels, modeling studios, and even cars. The symptoms of a panic attack vary from person to person, but they can be associated with an elevated heart rate, chills or hot flashes, feeling weak, numbness or tingling sensations in your body, dizziness, nausea, chest pain, and difficulty breathing.
“I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad,” she says. “But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”
As the panic attacks continued to get worse-even in her own home-Bündchen revealed that she started contemplating suicide. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,’” she said.
But how are anxiety and suicide related?
Bündchen isn’t alone. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting roughly 40 million adults, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA).
The link between anxiety disorders and suicidal thoughts is a strong one, according to 2010 study published in the journal Depression and Anxiety. After analyzing data from more than 34,000 face-to-face interviews, researchers found that 70 percent of people who reported a past suicide attempt suffered from some form of an anxiety disorder, like panic disorder, phobias, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD.
Despite the connection, the study authors reported that anxiety disorders are “highly undertreated and underdiagnosed.” According to the ADAA, only 37 percent of adults suffering from an anxiety disorder actually receive the treatment they need to manage their symptoms.
In Bündchen’s case, seeing a specialist was the first step in learning how to manage her anxiety. While she was prescribed Xanax, a popular medication used to treat anxiety, Bündchen explained that she didn’t want to be “dependent” on it.
So with the help of her doctors, she completely overhauled her life by cleaning up her diet, doing yoga, and practicing meditation. “I had been smoking cigarettes, drinking a bottle of wine and three mocha frappuccinos every day, and I gave up everything in one day,” she revealed. “I thought, ‘If this stuff is in any way the cause of this pain in my life, it’s gotta go.’”
In addition to other lifestyle changes (like prioritizing sleep and exercise), many experts suggest cognitive behavioral therapy to manage the symptoms associated with anxiety disorders. Everyone deals with anxiety differently, so seeking professional help is crucial.
While Bündchen is open about her struggles now, she serves as a reminder that you never truly know what someone may be dealing with. “Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
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