GOAL! Prep for Season 3 of 'Ted Lasso' With 80+ Best Quotes From the Show

Imagine this: it is peak pandemic. You’re baking bread and trying to stay positive amidst a global pandemic that has changed everything and continues to pose a threat to the health and wellness of “normal” life. Enter Ted Lasso. From the time the show premiered until now, it has made a significant impact on viewers, and we have the 80+ best Ted Lasso quotes that prove its cultural influence.

In August 2020, Apple TV+ introduced the ultimate escapism show. Subscribers everywhere met an American college football coach who moved to England to take the reins of a professional English Premier League soccer team (aka “football team” to the Brits) with less than zero knowledge of the sport, but plenty of gumption. Little did Ted know that he was hired by the AFC Richmond team owner to spite her ex-husband.

For two seasons (and we suspect the third season is coming soon), the ever-optimistic coach, played by Emmy-award winner Jason Sudeikis, and his British co-workers embark on a journey filled with personal and professional highs and lows.

Through it all, Ted Lasso’s hope and positivity are contagious, despite a constant stream of setbacks and doubters. So much so, that it’s hard for the fictional characters and viewers alike to not fall in love with the determined and kind-hearted coach.

We had no idea just how often we would begin to quote Ted Lasso and accidentally talk in a British accent after watching the series. Everything from Ted’s "Lassoisms" to Roy Kent’s constant cursing was carried across the pond, landing in the living room of viewers everywhere to provide comedic relief at a most essential time.

We have found a way to apply all the quotes to our daily lives either for a good laugh or as a guiding principle. If you too are a fellow Lasso stan, you’re sure to love this roundup of best quotes from a few fan-favorite characters while impatiently awaiting the next season.

Best Ted Lasso Quotes

"To try is scary, you know, because you can end up losing a lot. But you have to put your heart out there." — Sam Obisanya

"It may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does. But believe me, it will all work out." — Ted Lasso

“Every disadvantage has its advantage.” — Rebecca Welton

“If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” — Ted Lasso

"You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by lightning. Don't you dare settle for fine." — Roy Kent

"I belong here. This didn't just fall into my lap, all right? I earned this." — Nathan Shelley

“There’s two buttons I never like to hit, alright? And that’s ‘panic’ and ‘snooze.'” — Ted Lasso

"I like the idea of someone becoming rich because of what they gave to the world." — Sam Obisanya

"All right, yeah. Let's go... murder some birds with a rock." — Nathan Shelley

Related: Everything You Need to Know About Ted Lasso Season 3

Ted Lasso Quotes

Head Coach Lasso is rarely at a loss for words. We are happily never spared a good witty response or long-form metaphor.

“Be curious, not judgmental.”

“Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.”

“As the man once said, 'the harder you work, the luckier you get.'”

“I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.”

“Most of the time change is a good thing and I think that’s what it’s all about – embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to so everyone in your life can move forward with theirs, and maybe it’s the only way you can truly make her be happy. Obviously, by her I mean lady football.”

“You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? Got a ten-second memory.”

"Hey, doing the right thing is never the wrong thing."

"I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one."

“If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.”

“It’s just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.”

“So I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. ‘It’s the hope that kills you.’ Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief.”

“This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I’d hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off of it either.”

“Takin’ on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.”

“I think that if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.”

“For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.”

“Be honest with me. It’s a prank, right? The tea? Like when us tourist folks aren’t around, y’all know it tastes like garbage? You don’t love it. It's pigeon sweat.”

“You say impossible, but all I hear is ‘I’m possible.'”

“Lift your heads up and look around this locker room. Yeah? Look at everybody else in here. And I want you to be grateful that you’re going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain’t nobody in this room alone.”

“Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.”

“You got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends it like himself.”

“It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they’re now gone.”

“What I can tell you is that with the exception of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, not much lasts forever.”

“I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we.”

“Living in the moment, it’s a gift. That’s why they call it the present.”

“If we see each other in our dreams, let’s goof around a little bit, pretend like we don’t know each other.”

“You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.”

“I feel like we fell out of the lucky tree and hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool of cash and sour patch kids.”

“Ice cream is the best. It’s kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live. Never disappoints.”

“Isn't the idea of "never give up" one of them things we always talk about in sports? And shouldn't that apply to people too?”

“A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile to me.”

“I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you’re just one in 11.”

"Believe."

Related: Jason Sudeikis Opens Up About Ted Lasso

Rebecca Welton Quotes from Ted Lasso

Owner of AFC Richmond, Rebecca started out hating Ted and his optimism, but *spoiler alert* their friendship becomes one of our favorite relationships on the show.

"I lost my way for a minute, but I'm on the road back."

“I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat. I thought being invulnerable would protect me, so I pushed people away for years, leading me directly to my greatest fear… Being alone. Big whoop.”

“Your casual misogyny, for one. I know, it’s a big word. Ask one of your daughters what it means.”

“There's no greater education than travel.”

"Oh, this sport. I'd forgotten how stressful it is when you actually give a s**t."

"A bit of advice for being a boss. Hire your best friend."

“Before I go into the room, I find somewhere private, I stand up on my tiptoes, put my arms in the air and make myself as big as possible to feel my own power.”

Keeley Jones Quotes from Ted Lasso

The model who we first meet as Jamie Tartt’s girlfriend grows exponentially over the two seasons of Ted Lasso. From finding what she needs in a relationship to becoming Rebecca’s closest confidant, Keeley Jones is a fan favorite who drops some excellent one-liners.

“I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”

“I have a confession to make. I've never really cared about football. I know. I know it sounds insane, but I know how to act at a match. ‘Referee! Offside, you turnip!'"

"That Rebecca is an intimidating, very tall woman. I mean, the minute she locked eyes with me, I started sweating."

“I’m sort of famous for being almost famous.”

“You doing exactly what I tell you to do is so f***ing hot”

“You have no idea the power of rhyming in this go**amn country.”

"You Helped This Panda Become A Lion."

Roy Kent Quotes from Ted Lasso

The tough-cookie, anger-issues, constantly-cursing AFC Richmond team captain Roy Kent comes off with a hard shell, but deep inside he is just a sensitive, sweet man with some excellent hard-coated advice.

"You live, you die, you're done. End of story. Good night."

“Most adults think kids need to be constantly entertained. It’s bulls**t. I didn’t need a f***ing parade every day growing up, did you? Truth is—they just want to feel like they’re part of our lives. Little idiots.”

“F**k!”

"Hey, Siri. Play the 'Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley's playlist.'"

"We lost. Would have been closer but one of the goals got disallowed because apparently 9-year-olds aren't allowed to do headers yet."

"I do yoga with a group of women in their sixties. They've no idea who I am. It's twice a week, and it's really good for my core."

“It’s more than a game to me. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s who I am. It’s all I am.”

Jamie Tartt Quotes from Ted Lasso

Star AFC Richmond player, Jamie Tartt is humbled throughout both seasons of Ted Lasso as he navigates stardom and self-discovery.

“Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”

“Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.”

“Uh, easy Phillip. I'm not just a loser, I'm the loser.”

“What better thing to spend money on than love?”

"I finally think that I'm becoming the best version of myself."

"The second that I found out that George Harrison died, I realized that I had to stop waiting for life to begin."

Coach Beard Quote from Ted Lasso

Ted’s right-hand guy, Coach Beard, may be a man of few words but the ones that he shares are too good to pass up (and usually related to relationship indecisiveness).

"I've been to Vegas many times. One night is good, two nights is perfect, three is too many."

"The guys are just not NSYNC."

"In all my happiest memories, I'm single. That troubles me."

"We broke up… We're back on."

"We just had a five-hour bus ride where you didn’t talk a lick, and that’s a record by about five hours."

"I want to be with her. All her, all the time. Is that love or do I just have a problem?"

“Are you there God, it's me, Margaret's little boy, long-time listener, first-time caller.”

Related: 32 Best Gifts for Ted Lasso Fans

Dr. Sharon Fieldstone from Ted Lasso

We met Dr. Sharon in Season two and we are still thinking about some of the truth bombs the therapist dropped on the AFC Richmond team.

"As good as you are at your job, I'm twice as good at mine."

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."

"Well, I can't be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor."

“Thanks to you, I've learned that expressing my vulnerabilities can help my patients with theirs. You helped me become a better therapist. And that's saying something because I was already f***ing brilliant.”

Higgins Quotes from Ted Lasso

From a messenger for revenge to a true friend, Rebecca’s assistant Higgins is a sweet, wholesome man full of wisdom.

"I suppose the best brand is being yourself."

"A good mentor hopes you move on. A great mentor knows you will."

“Look, let me ask you one question. You're a great man. Does Jane make you greater?”

“I try to love my dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t.”

Dani Rojas Quotes from Ted Lasso

AFC Richmond team member Dani Rojas is always smiling. How can you not be happy all the time when…

“Football is life!”

Next up, find out which Ted Lasso character is joining the Marvel universe!