'You’re a common whore. That’s why we’re soul mates': Will & Grace - the funniest Karen Walker moments
Will & Grace may have been named after the bafflingly dull characters played by Eric McCormack and Debra Messing, but anyone who watched the show during its original eight season run will know that its secret star was Megan Mullally's Karen Walker. A pill-popping, booze-drenched and perpetually sociopathic grotesque, Karen got the best lines, the biggest laughs and the funniest moments. Even as the show itself became filled with increasingly lazy star cameos, Mullally remained a weekly standout. There's little surprise that she's had the most interesting post-show career.
As the series returns to American television with a surprise ninth season, we've taken a look back at some of Karen's funniest lines, most of them accompanied by clips – so we can all revisit Mullally's uniquely brilliant comic timing.
“What’s going on, honey? What’s happening? Why aren’t you licking that floor ?”
To Serve and Disinfect (season two, episode six)
When Grace stumbles upon a fetish film Karen made prior to marrying her very wealthy husband Stan, Karen initially claims it isn't her – until her trademark insults find their way into her improvised dominatrix dialogue.
"I was just out of college and I was broke," Karen recalls. "It's the oldest story in the world. Boy meets girl, boy wants girl to do dominatrix film, girl says, "Naked?" Boy says, "Yeah." Girl says, "Forget it." Boy says, "Okay, then just wear this rubber dress and beat the old guy with a scrub brush." Girl says, "How hard?"
“Anastasia, like Russian royalty. Beaverhausen, like... where the beaver live.”
A.I. Artificial Insemination (season four, episode 25)
Karen deploys her trusty alter ego when she encounters Rip Torn's wealthy CEO in a bar. He also mistakes her for a hooker ("You don't have sex for money?"), to which she protests: "I do not! For jewels, for furs, for mixed securities, like a lady! But for money? How dare you?!"
“Look at all of the sweet memories they bring back...”
Brothers: A Love Story (season three, episode 14)
While visiting her safety deposit box to pick out jewels with Jack, Karen gets to reminiscing – in as characteristically an outrageous way as possible.
“Let’s talk wine. Karen, you have any preference?”
There But for the Grace of Grace (season two, episode 21)
Words to live by, frankly.
“Why, poor people are just so clever!”
Dolls and Dolls (season five, episode 21)
For Karen, most everyday things are new experiences for her, from drinking a can of soda to visiting a public park. Dolls and Dolls sees her venturing inside a launderette. Tapping the glass door on a washing machine, she asks "Where are the fish?"
“Remember when I predicted that Driver was gonna lose his job, and then two days later I fired him?”
Poker? I Don't Even Like Her (season three, episode 17)
Despite her rivalry with New York socialite Candace Pruitt, Karen can't help but feel a pang of guilt when she has a psychic flash that something may have happened to her while she's under the knife. As Jack remembers some of Karen's past premonitions, he says: "[like] that time you predicted that Rosario was gonna fall, and then you pushed her down the stairs?"
“It’s Christmas, for goodness sakes. Think of the baby Jesus!”
Jingle Balls (season four, episode 11)
Karen's take on the Christmas story: "Up in that tower, letting his hair down so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dreidel, and see if there's six more weeks of winter. Think about that!"
“That’s the captain?! That’s your limo driver!”
24 (season five, episode 24)
Karen isn't too perturbed by Will's outrage over the same man assuming multiple roles within her staff: "Drive a boat, drive a car, drive a plane. As long as I'm drunk, what's the difference?"
“Which lever do I pull to get crushed by a safe?!”
Homojo (season five, episode 15)
Karen can't quite hide her lack of interest when Grace tells her all about her and Will's "Game Night".
“If I’d known we were gonna do all this walking, I would’ve saddled up Rosario, like when we go to Greece.”
Cheatin' Trouble Blues (season four, episode 18)
Karen attempts to explain her chronic fear of lifts by accidentally recalling the opening scene of Speed. "That movie was not at all what was advertised," she later says. "You think you're going to see a feel-good movie about amphetamines and suddenly you're on a bus?"
“That’s like saying that Prada is just shoes...”
Whose Mom Is It, Anyway? (season two, episode five)
The definitive Karen quote.
“Out there in that icy water, I stared death in the face”
Dames at Sea (season six, episode one)
Even on the heels of potential death, Karen can't let a good Rosario zinger go by.
“When I started working in the corporate world of Grace Adler Designs, I was terrified...”
Nice in White Satin (season six, episode seven)
Karen has always been a fount of inspiration, especially if you rearrange her sentences in just the right way.
“He’s dull, he’s ugly, and he don’t make me laugh”
Home Court Disadvantage (season six, episode three)
Speaking for much of the audience at home, Karen was characteristically open when talking about how much she disliked Grace's husband Leo.
“Honey, you’re simple, you’re shallow, and you’re a common whore. That’s why we’re soul mates.”
Alice Doesn't Lisp Here Anymore (season three, episode 20)
The foundation of Karen and Jack's entire friendship.
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