The haircut that gave one woman the confidence to leave her toxic relationship
Breakup haircuts are a thing. Which is why Valentina Solarte‘s boyfriend might have sensed one coming when she made a drastic change to her hair. The 20-year-old New Jersey native had moved to Florida, putting miles between her relationship. But she didn’t even realize how distant she felt until she went through with a hair transformation.
Posting photos of her before-and-after look, Solarte showed off the long, curly hair that her boyfriend loved dearly alongside the short, straight style that she loves herself. She tells Yahoo Lifestyle that the photos, originally posted in March, gained more attention once she added a poem on her thought process with the images.
You fell in love with my long hair so I cut it all off pic.twitter.com/w7WJQ5PHAA
— Valentina V. (@valentinavoight) January 2, 2018
Then I fell in love with my short hair & finally had the confidence to leave you
— Valentina V. (@valentinavoight) January 2, 2018
“The caption of the tweet was a poem I wrote after the haircut and during my breakup,” she explains. “‘You fell in love with my hair, so I cut it all off,’ symbolizing my haircut as a way of letting go of his toxic love and my first step into moving on and no longer caring about what he prefers. Followed by the second line, which says, ‘then I fell in love with my short hair and finally had the confidence to leave you,’ which shows that although he ended up loving my short hair, I no longer love him or needed his validation to make me feel good.”
The young woman goes on to talk about the freedom and confidence that her shorter hair gave her, simply because it was the first dramatic haircut of her life and, more important, because it led to a larger realization.
“I cut my hair because I wanted to feel in control of myself again, have my confidence back, and not rely on what my ex would think about it to make me feel good,” Solarte says. “A week later, I left that unhealthy relationship, and I’ve honestly been so happy since.”
Solarte expresses surprise over the viral reaction that the tweet has received. But she knows that, as many say in the replies, the message behind it is super relatable — and important.
“I hope women and men see my tweet and realize that they should do whatever makes them feel good, regardless of what anyone else prefers. If a simple haircut will give you confidence to leave a toxic relationship or cope with a breakup, why not do it?” she questions. “It’s just hair and it grows back.”
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