‘Help! My Baby Will Only Fall Asleep with a Bottle.’ Here’s What to Do, Per a Baby Sleep Expert

When I told my colleagues that I was interviewing sleep expert Cara Dumaplin, of Taking Cara Babies fame, the response was overwhelming. Questions and horror stories from desperate, sleep-deprived parents rolled in (and I’ve never felt more popular).

For those who don’t know, Taking Cara Babies is basically the Dr. Harvey Karp of Instagram. She’s a neonatal nurse and mother of four who has made it her mission to teach zonked-out parents how to put their babies to sleep. (For the record, I took her no-cry approach newborn class and am a total convert.)

So I passed along a question from one of my coworkers: What do you do if your baby can only fall asleep with a bottle? Unsurprisingly, Dumaplin had great advice.

Her first pointer? “If what you’re doing is working for you, then there’s no reason to stop it.” Meaning that if you’re OK with your baby falling asleep with a bottle, then that’s totally fine.

But here’s the thing: If a baby falls asleep with a bottle, then as they go through a sleep cycle, they often need what put them to sleep at the beginning of the night to put themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night. Cue the midnight cries for another bottle.

Don’t fret—you and your baby can get a decent night’s shut-eye. How? “Do one thing between the feeding and sleep,” Dumaplin tells us. That’s because the goal is to break up that eat-sleep cycle.

Here’s what that might look like: Offer your baby a feeding (keep the lights on and make sure she stays awake for it). Then read a book. Or start with something even smaller like getting her sleep sack on. “Do just one thing to break up the eat and sleep cycle,” says Dumaplin. By doing so, you’re going to gradually teach your baby how to fall asleep more independently.

Will there be crying? If your baby is over the age of 5 months, then probably yes. (Sorry.)

“As a mom, I hate tears. But there’s crying where it’s ‘My needs are not being met’ and then there’s crying like ‘Hey, I’m frustrated and I don’t know how to fall asleep or go back to sleep,’” says Dumaplin. When it’s the latter, reassure your baby that you’re in this together (Dumaplin’s classes walk you through this process step-by-step) and know that you’re setting your baby up for a lifetime of good sleep habits.

Goodnight and good luck.

RELATED: The 9 Most Common Sleep Training Methods, Demystified