Here's Exactly How to Tell a Stranger to Put on a Mask
So you’re standing in line at the coffee shop—or working the register—and there they are , that person who isn't wearing a mask amidst the COVID-19 pandemic.
That person who didn’t get (or bother to read) the memo that wearing a mask is a simple, low-lift act of decency and patriotism that helps keep our loved ones safe and is also, incidentally, is the only thing right now preventing the COVID-19 numbers from spiking again and unleashing another round of lockdowns.
You didn’t wake up this morning spoiling for a fight, but something needs to be said.
So we called up psychologist Robert Cialdini, author of the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, for tips on how he would get someone to mask up, without starting a brawl.
Men's Health: Mask wearing has become such a charged issue; how do you avoid escalating things or getting mired in a pointless debate?
Cialdini: I would say: “Excuse me. You look like a caring person. Would you be willing to wear this mask to protect my health?”
Essentially, you give somebody a label as a caring person. Research shows that if you do that, people want to live up to the positive reputation you’ve given them.
For example, if people are told that they’re helpful, a week later when somebody from the Multiple Sclerosis Association comes to the door, they will give more money. Children who are told, “You look like the kind of little girl or boy who wants to have good penmanship,” a week later, in a completely different situation, when given options of various tasks to perform, they will choose to learn how to improve their penmanship.
All these studies have shown that people tend to move in the direction of a compliment you give them. And it doesn’t require that you confront them in a way that is likely to produce a fistfight.
Why do you think some people are so anti-mask?
It may have to do with people wanting to be sure they’re not being pushed around or controlled. And it especially applies to those individuals who seem to not want to wear a mask. Because it seems like their reasoning is, “Nobody can tell me what to do,” or “I don’t like the government telling me what to do.”
So what’s the best way to deal with that line of thinking?
There’s research in social psychology that says if you make a request of someone, and then say, “Of course, it’s completely up to you,” you’ll get significantly more compliance with your request.
So, if you pay someone a compliment and make your request, then add to it, “Of course, it’s completely up to you,” or, “Of course, it’s your choice,” both of those addendums have produced significant increases in people willing to say yes to what you ask of them.
Whereas if you confront them or challenge their beliefs it may backfire.
You can’t say to him, “What’s wrong with you? You moral cretin!” That's a recipe for disaster, Instead, give them control.
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