Here's Why Taylor Swift Has the Perfect Response to Compliments, According to a Therapist
Taylor Swift smiling
Ever wondered why celebrities seem to know exactly how to respond to a compliment? Hint: it’s not because they spend hours researching and studying the best way to talk to people. Aside from knowing how to work a crowd, they have great PR reps to help them understand what and what not to say.
However, sometimes a response to a compliment has a deeper meaning—and a longer history. Taylor Swift, one of the most popular celebrities right now—if not the most popular, has a story like this.
A TikTok video posted by @lisamc40 shows a clip of Swift as a toddler, saying the phrase you’ll still hear her say today after receiving a compliment: “Thank you,” with a slight pause, “Thank you for saying that.”
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Cute, right? Yes, and it’s also practical. But why is it so difficult for most people to say something like this? For starters, accepting a compliment in your mind is hard enough, but responding to it is even trickier. Growing up, if you’re taught to be humble and avoid seeming self-centered, you may brush off the positive things people say about you. But instead of clutching your pearls and blushing, it’s time to learn how to respond to compliments appropriately.
Let’s start by considering why Swift’s response to compliments is good and why you should use it.
Why Taylor Swift’s Response to Compliments Is Perfect
Swift’s response to compliments isn’t just a childhood saying. She’s stuck with it all her life because it works and, even more importantly, it’s authentic. Rather than giving a basic “Thank you,” she takes it a step further and reemphasizes her gratitude for the person saying something nice. Acknowledging the action and intention behind a compliment also speaks to the person’s character, not just their words.
The video below from @celebritiesworldx has even more clips of Swift using this go-to response.
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She’s come a long way from 2015, when she made headlines after responding on Tumblr to a compliment from Madonna. Instead of her trademark response, she said, “Thanks now I’m dead,” adding hashtags like #howamisupposedtodealwiththis and #BECOOLTAYLORSTOPBEINGEMBARASSING. Although it’s pretty appropriate for how we talked on Tumblr in 2015, it does show how she’s grown and evolved as a celebrity. Her eloquent and authentic speaking even led to her being the commencement speaker at New York University’s (NYU) 2022 graduation ceremony.
5 Other Therapist-Approved Ways To Respond Without Being Awkward
There’s no doubt that Swift’s response is perfect for responding to compliments. But if you want to expand your compliment response knowledge, you need to do your research.
Let’s say it’s your first session with a new therapist. At some point during the intake interview, they’re going to ask you what you think your strengths are. What do you do? If you can’t name anything, they may mention something you’ve said earlier or a strength they’ve noticed in the session. For example, if I’m seeing a client with a lot of insight into what’s going on with their mental health, I’ll compliment them on that.
How would you respond in that situation? Some people laugh, others try to deny the compliment or even flat-out disagree—and don’t forget about self-sabotaging. Any of these can cause you to feel awkward, which you don’t want your first session with a therapist to be. (But if it is, let us know, and we can help! That’s what we’re here for.)
Since one of the goals of therapy is to be confident in communicating with others, I always make a point to provide communication or coping skills wherever possible. Here are five therapist-approved ways to respond without being awkward.
1. Start with a “Thank you.”
The first way to respond to a comment is simple: just say, “Thank you!” Sometimes, you only need to say something short to alleviate any awkwardness after receiving a compliment. These two little words carry a lot of weight and can go a long way toward maintaining strong relationships with people.
2. Let them know you appreciate the compliment.
If keeping it simple is more your style, that’s great. However, letting the person know you appreciate their compliment is still good. Throw in something like “I really appreciate that,” “That brightened my day,” or “Your kind words mean a lot to me” to convey your gratitude. Swift’s response would also fall under this category.
3. Acknowledge the contributions of everyone.
Does the compliment address your work or your team’s work? If you’re not the only one who contributed to the success of a project, be sure to share the credit when complimented. This can be extremely meaningful to someone who might feel left out or overshadowed. When responding, don’t forget to use “we” instead of “I.”
4. Resist the urge to always return a compliment.
Starting a compliment war doesn’t make you look humble. Instead, your flattering remark may come off as disingenuous—which is the last thing you want to happen. Avoid an awkward moment by accepting the compliment and save anything you want to praise for later.
5. Use nonverbal communication.
It’s not just your words that matter. Your nonverbal communication also sends a message about how you receive a compliment. For example, Swift keeps her body language open, leans forward to connect more with whoever she’s talking with, and maintains eye contact. You can do this, too! Generally, a smile and shaking hands are a sign of respect and thanks after a compliment in Western culture.
