Hoda Kotb Opens Up About Fertility Struggles Amid Cancer Treatment: ‘I Just Sobbed’
Hoda Kotb opened up about fertility struggles and the decision to freeze her eggs before breast cancer treatment.
“I was in my room and I just sobbed. I thought, ‘Well, that’s that, isn’t it?’” she said.
The Today co-anchor underwent a mastectomy in 2007 after receiving her cancer diagnosis.
Before Hoda Kotb adopted her two daughters, Haley, 5, and Hope, 3, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be a mother. But she knew she wanted to be.
In 2007, the Today co-anchor underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction surgery after being diagnosed with breast cancer. And while discussing treatment with her doctors, the topic of freezing her eggs was on the table. (According to the National Cancer Institute, certain types of breast cancer treatment, like chemotherapy, can cause infertility, which is why many women choose to preserve their eggs.)
“I remember that my oncologist called and we were talking about freezing my eggs. She basically said that given my age and [my breast cancer treatment], it was pretty close to a dead-end,” Kotb recently recalled to Good Housekeeping.
In that moment, she felt extreme defeat. “I was in my room and I just sobbed. I thought, ‘Well, that’s that, isn’t it?’ Like, you almost blame yourself. ‘Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I do that?’ So I just pushed it away, because the reality seemed impossible to bear,” she said. “How do you survive knowing you can’t have what you desire and what you feel like you actually physically need?”
Little did she know, a different family plan was meant for her future, and with the encouragement of her ex-fiancé Joel Schiffman, she made the decision to adopt. “I don’t think I would’ve adopted if it hadn’t been for Joel,” she said. “Having a stable relationship in that moment was really important. Once that fell into place, it didn’t seem as scary to me.”
Kotb and Schiffman dated for six years before getting engaged in 2019, and in January, she announced that they made the mutual decision to end their romantic relationship. “Joel and I have had a lot of prayerful and really meaningful conversations over the holidays, and we decided that we're better as friends and parents than we are as an engaged couple,” she said on Today.
They agreed to make co-parenting their daughters their top priority. “We decided that we are going to start this new year and begin it kind of on our new path as loving parents to our adorable, delightful children, and as friends,” she continued. “They say sometimes relationships are meant to be there for a reason or a season or for a lifetime. And I feel like ours was meant to be there for a season.”
The 57-year-old understands that her life’s timeline for love and parenting isn’t the most conventional, which has been difficult at times. But all in all, she’s happy with how things have panned out. When it comes down to it, she can say she’s always stayed true to herself, and that’s what matters most.
“Our kids sense every single thing we do, and they feel everything. They know if you’re being real and they know when you’re not,” she told Good Housekeeping. “You have to really figure out who you are because your kids are taking notes. Just be truthful and be true to yourself, and your kids are going to turn out just fine.”
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