Hot Stock Tip: Don’t Buy Stocks, Buy Birkin Bags

If the murmur of financial pundits is to be believed, the stock market could be in for a major crash — and soon. Some cautious investors are pulling their money out of stocks and putting it into safer investments like money markets, while those feeling bullish are staying in. But you know what both types of investors should probably do as soon as possible? Take all their money out of stocks, and buy a crapton of Hermès bags instead.

According to a new study by Bag Hunter, Hermès Birkins — the totes that start at $12,000 and are considered the Cadillac of luxury bags — have historically been a safer investment than the stock market or gold.

Over the last 35 years, the S&P 500 (an indicator of the stock market’s overall performance) has given investors a 12% return, while gold has returned 2%. In that same period of time, Birkin bags have offered an average annual value increase of 14%. Insert joke about giving a whole new meaning to “investment piece” here.

What’s more, unlike stocks or gold, Birkins’ value only goes up year over year — there’s been no big crash like the ones that ruined plenty of investors in 2007 (and 2000, and 1987, and 1929…).

So there you have it — an investment that consistently returns more money than the stock market, is crash-proof, and that, unlike a stock certificate, looks great dangling from your arm.

Read the full report at Bag Hunter, and contemplate yet another reason why Kim Kardashian might just be the savviest business woman of our time.

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