Identical twins transition together after coming out as transgender
Jack and Jace Grafe finally feel like themselves. Although the 23-year-old identical twins who live in Monroe, Ga., were born female — as Jaclyn and Jennifer, respectively — they both came out as transgender at 18, and have undergone gender transitions together.
The brothers told the Daily Mail that they have both identified as male since childhood and can remember crying themselves to sleep as little girls over their confusion over their identity, praying to wake up as boys. At age 16, they came out as gay before realizing they were both transgender.
Jack described the feeling to local Atlanta news station WAGA-TV as being imprisoned inside his own body. “And the older I got, the harder it was to swallow. And I was like, can’t do this for the rest of my life, I just can’t do it.” Jace — who, as Jack’s identical twin, shares almost his exact DNA — allegedly felt the same. But at first, the twins were afraid to confide in each other.
“Fear is like the biggest thing to keep you away from anything,” Jack told the Daily Mail. “That’s what kept me in my box.” At 15, shortly after learning of the concept of transgender identity, both siblings instantly resonated with it and finally opened up to each other. They called it a breakthrough moment, and felt empowered to “have each other’s backs.”
They started with baby steps, cutting their hair and incorporating male clothes into their wardrobes after high school, Jace told WAGA-TV. They even attended cosplay conventions together dressed as male characters. Then, at 21, they started hormone replacement therapy, injecting testosterone to deepen their voices and give their faces and bodies more masculine definition.
In August, Jack and Jace experienced a pivotal moment in their journey when they underwent female-to-male top surgery. This means their breasts were removed — the procedure is technically called a subcutaneous mastectomy — and their chests were recontoured to look more masculine. “Now, I am the happiest with myself that I have been in my entire life. That uncomfortable feeling we had before has completely gone,” Jack told the Daily Mail.
But it’s not all happily ever after for the twins. They say they have experienced plenty of bullying and harassment both before and after their transition. “At work, I have had my fair share of people calling me a ‘sh*t’ — she, he, it. Usually, they just don’t understand,” Jack said. “People still refer to us as female. Whenever I hear ‘she’ or ‘her’ it is like a kick in the stomach.”
Jack tells the Daily Mail it hurts when people make light of his journey, but he gets it. “At a young age, I was skeptical of it myself. For some people, it is a hard pill to swallow.” He adds, “There are still times when I come home and break down.”
The twins are grateful to have had each other for support. “I feel like we’ve saved each other from a lot of really dark and depressing moments,” Jace told WAGA-TV. “Sometimes, I wonder if [Jack] wasn’t here, if I would have been by myself, if I would have had suicidal thoughts. I’m not saying I would have, but it’s very possible. I would have been most definitely alone.”
According to the National Institutes of Health, transgender individuals are four times as likely to experience clinical depression as the general population. And suicidal tendencies and suicide rates among transgender people are “considerably high,” because they are subject to higher-than-average rates of bullying, harassment, violence, and discrimination.
A recent study of gender identity disorder found that identical twins are more likely to identify as transgender than fraternal twins. Identical twins develop from the same zygote; fraternal twins are born from two different fertilized eggs.
The twins are hoping that the surgeries will help them move on with their lives — on parallel paths. Both brothers work as corrections officers. Jace is attending the police academy, while Jack plans to follow in his footsteps. Jack recently became engaged to his girlfriend, Maygon Arrington, while Jace is in a longterm relationship with his girlfriend Jessica Smith.
And perhaps the biggest reward the twins have reaped as a result of their surgery is the legal recognition of their new gender. They now have driver’s licenses that officially identify them as male. Jack calls it a relief, telling WAGA-TV, “It’s real now, it’s official.”
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