These Instagram Moms Show the Raw Realities of Motherhood

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Warning: This article deals with and discusses content involving sexual violence, as well as graphic and disturbing imagery. Please be advised that the discussion may contain triggers.

In the social media world of highly curated images, perfect bodies, and seemingly perfect lives, these moms on Instagram are keeping it as real as it gets (#nofilter). They’re sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, and the absolutely awful moments of motherhood. It’s refreshing to see such honesty online when so much of what you usually see is, well, unrealistic. The women ahead do not allow the glossy world that makes up the majority of Instagram make them feel like a bad mom.

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It takes unbelievable bravery to put something raw and honest out there for the world — likely to be met by trolls, because internet. But these moms aren’t shying away from the brutal truth, and we are so here for it. From a post-triplet baby belly to a mom who documents her son’s battle with pediatric cancer, these empowering women are sharing their truths about the really real moments of motherhood. You’re going to want to hug your mom after this one, and maybe your best friend. And the lady in the checkout line. And the other moms at drop-off.

Moms, motherhood is hard. Be there for each other.

Meg Loeks is a mom of four — three boys and a little girl. When her oldest son, Leo, was diagnosed with leukemia, Meg became a pediatric cancer advocate, and uses her beautiful Instagram feed filled with dreamlike photos of her kids and their life in the midwest to document Leo’s journey with leukemia. The heartbreaking images can be difficult to look at, but Leo’s bravery and optimism are obvious. And the photos shine a light on a story that’s too often hidden: what it’s like to parent a sick child. Meg’s pictures are haunting and show the support behind her amazing boy.

Robin Schannep is the #vanlife mom behind @contentednomads, and she lived through a devastating loss when she went into premature labor when her baby was just 15 1/2 weeks. Her sweet son passed away, and instead of grieving alone, as many women feel that they must, Robin shared photos of her son, and invited women everywhere to grieve with her, offering that anyone going through anything not go through it alone. Losing your child isn’t something any mother should ever have to experience, but Robin’s honesty and courage in the face of such an unfathomable sorrow brought together women from all over the world.

There is no such thing as the perfect mom. But Desiree Fortin, the brains behind @theperfectmom, reassures us all that you are the perfect mom. You’re on anti anxiety meds? You’re a great mom. Haven’t showered in a week? You’re a great mom. Panic a stranger is going to kidnap your baby at the park? You’re a great mom. Desiree is the cheerleader we all need, flaunting her imperfections and honest to a fault. After giving birth to triplets (holy crap mama) she posted this photo of her stomach, and encouraged moms to have grace for the body that carried their child. Too much emphasis is put on the post baby body, how quickly you bounce back, and which celebs are out on the red carpet hours after giving birth in full makeup and heels. Desiree reminds us that no matter what you look like, what faults you have, how many times you think you’re a terrible mom for hiding in the bathroom to escape your kids, just keep putting one foot in front of the other- you are a great mom.

Kate Swenson started documenting her son’s severe autism in an attempt to help other moms going through the same thing. Her oldest son Cooper was diagnosed with Autism at age three. He is now 6, completely nonverbal, isn’t potty trained, is delayed in all areas, and is also, Kate would like to point out, the most incredible boy she knows. In addition to her Instagram @findingcoopersvoice, she has a website, and a YouTube channel dedicated to documenting daily life with Cooper. On her website, she has a section for parents of children newly diagnosed with autism, and offers help and advice as someone who has been through what they are going through. Sometimes all you need is a little support, and although each child is different, Kate’s videos and pictures of life with Cooper reveal that life with a child on the spectrum isn’t easy, but she and Cooper are living their best lives, and she isn’t giving up hope that one day, Cooper might speak. He might be potty trained. That hope is something she hopes to share with other parents of kids on the spectrum.

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This photograph reminds me that it wasn’t all a dream. The week of crippling unknown pain, the visits to emergency, the doctor that didn’t take me seriously and the doctor that did, the ultrasound technician trying to mask his alarm, the endless tests and injections and questions, the constant beeps and cries of the hospital each night, the burning lights of the operating theatre and waking in recovery with a terrifying allergic reaction to the painkiller they’d injected and no more gallbladder. My friend Al had waited all day long so I had someone when I came out of surgery, he read my book aloud to me while I writhed and cried and slept fitfully. He took this photo on his phone. The next day the surgeons stood at the end of my bed and they told me they were sorry, they didn’t manage to remove the stray gallstone in my pancreatic duct after all, they would need to operate again. I cried, I said I was a single parent and I had to get home to my daughter. They sent a social worker, it only made me more panicked. My mum called and she asked if I needed her to fly over and I broke down, yes, yes I needed her. Every day I drifted in and out of sleep. The Endone blurred the edges of reality. Friends would come. They’d bring me real food and I’d take tiny happy bites. They’d lift me so I could sit and the world would spin and gravity would hurt my insides. I was grateful for the hospital but I longed to be home. My new home that I’d moved into the very day before I was checked into hospital. When doctors came to tell me they’d found a way to send me home I was euphoric, I was high, I was delirious with relief. As my friend wheeled me out of the hospital, the depth of the outside world took my breath away. Bee was my nurse that first night in my own bed, when I woke I pressed my palm to his back. My heart hurt and my eyes swam. Then my mum came with her homemade sourdough and Alba filled our home with laughter. It took weeks to recover but dear god, I’d never felt so happy to be home. The timing astounded me. The break up, the launch, the move, then this. Sometimes it all just hits at once and reminds us what we’re capable of. Thank god I’m on the other side. ????

A post shared by Nirrimi (@nirr.imi) on Mar 27, 2019 at 8:51pm PDT

Nirrimi Joy @fireandjoy is a teen mom, a photographer, and isn’t afraid to share the nitty gritty details of her life, from her brother’s suicide to her battle with mental health. She speaks openly about the challenges of being a single parent, and offers what works for her. For someone so young, she doesn’t seem jaded or immature, instead she speaks bluntly about the bad days as well as the good days. She posted recently, “I’ve been doing so well lately, so incredibly well that when a friend brought up my anxiety I laughed and said it felt like I didn’t have anxiety anymore. But last night I did. Last night I was reminded of just how physical it is to struggle with mental illness; how impossible to control and debilitating it feels. My past trauma was triggered in way that started a chain reaction of hard feelings and I fell asleep late and woke late and missed all of my morning rituals, barely scraping getting Alba to school in time. Instead of going to my studio I stayed home and baked cookies and still, still, I felt heavy and anxious and guilty.” She offers words of encouragement and advice on what works for her; rock climbing, journaling, self care.

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