Iskra Lawrence opens up about missing ‘the old me’: ‘Sometimes I miss how comfortable in my sexuality I was’
Iskra Lawrence is unapologetic.
On Thursday, the 30-year-old British model shared several throwback black and white photos of herself posing in a bralette and jeans. She took to the caption to open up about her struggles with openly owning her sexuality admitting that she misses "the old me."
"Sometimes I miss how comfortable in my sexuality I was. How unashamed I was of nudity and posing provocatively but in an unforced natural way. I shut myself off from a lot of things when I grew a platform, started to feel the pressure of people holding me to a 'role model' standard and expecting me to be the perfect polite well rehearsed human. I remember telling P at a cardi gig - I don’t even feel comfortable twerkin in public letting 'loose' I feel the eyes on me even when they’re not - I don’t want to let people down and be a 'bad role model' I don’t want to to be a 'bad influence,'” Lawrence wrote.
She added that she decided to share this to help other people who feel the pressure of being an "online personality" and feeling as if they need to "shrink or deny parts of themselves."
"Regardless of what industry you’re in there’s certain standards I think we all feel like we have to adhere to to be socially acceptable online - how do you feel about that?" She added, "Because I’m really trying to re find all these lost parts of me."
Fans took to the comments to praise Lawrence's transparency and relayed their own stories of feeling like they could not be themselves.
"I can relate Iskra. There is a lot of pressure that comes with the territory. You’re not alone in these feelings. You are absolutely a good role model for many," someone wrote.
"You are perfect and inspire me every day.. and I truly believe that u inspire a lot of strong woman around the world!!" a fan commented.
"I love you for this. People will talk about you regardless, so enjoy the moment. Whether or not you become a “bad influence” is an outsider’s perspective that shouldn’t matter," another person said.
Lawrence got similarly nostalgic last month sharing a video from the first time she went viral.
"Never knew what viral was until I made this video about 8years ago. Unfortunately, fat-phobia is still rife...it’s improved and I’m beyond grateful for that but more marginalized bodies than mine still don’t have enough representation," she wrote. "So this is a cheeky reminder that it’s your body your choice."
This is not the first time Lawrence decided to talk about her struggles with self-acceptance. In a December interview with Bustle, she opened up about her self-love journey.
"My self-confidence has been quite a rollercoaster," she recalled. "Every single part of you was physically rated on a paper on a scale of one to 10. I was rejected a lot and publicly body shamed."
Lawrence admitted that after battling an eating disorder, she finally realized her purpose after she modeled for the lingerie brand Aerie.
"In one of my first shoots for them, I was sat down, and instead of posing and sucking my stomach in, I just had some rolls and the photo went viral. In lingerie ads, we typically see the fantasy and Photoshopped, airbrushed skin," she said. "I thought, 'I want to be less perfect because that validates everyone else not needing to be perfect too.'"
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