'It Ends With Us' isn't a romance movie. Watching domestic violence scenes can be emotionally taxing.

Abbie Herbert walked into a movie theater with her mom to see It Ends With Us, thinking they were about to watch a romantic comedy. They were shocked to see depictions of domestic violence on the screen.

“We didn’t read the book and went in completely clueless about this story,” the 28-year-old content creator and model shared in a TikTok video. “We both gasped the entire movie. It kept getting worse. We walked out sobbing.”

The film, which had a $50 million box-office debut, is based on Colleen Hoover’s 2016 novel of the same name. Lily Bloom (played by Blake Lively) escapes an abusive childhood only to later find herself in an intimate relationship with neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid (Justin Baldoni) that takes an all-too-familiar turn.

Readers — of which there are many, the bestselling tome being a BookTok favorite — would expect the dark scenes. If one were to buy a movie ticket based on promotion of the film, however, they may be taken aback by Kincaid’s physical and emotional abuse that abruptly follows a breezy setup.

Marketing has been flowery, colored by Lively’s bold fashion and discussions of a potential behind-the-scenes controversy with co-star and director Baldoni. This approach is being criticized for misrepresenting the storyline. Seemingly in response, Lively on Tuesday shared on Instagram that the cast has been “in celebration of this film and of getting a message so important out there to the masses.” She also pointed followers to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s resources and added, “1 in 4 women aged 18 and older in the U.S. alone have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Intimate partner violence affects all genders, including more than 12 million people every year in the United States. Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence.”

A lack of trigger warnings has also been called out by filmgoers. Screenwriter Christy Hall told Salon that the production company partnered with domestic and sexual violence organization No More to read scripts “early on,” adding that the organization is “putting together a bit of a lifeline for anyone who sees this movie if they need a safe place to go gather information.” However, the group didn’t provide a resource callout or viewer’s guide on social media until Tuesday, days after the movie’s release.

“It is important that audiences be empowered to make informed decisions before engaging with potentially traumatizing content,” Erinn Robinson, director of media relations at the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), tells Yahoo Life. “This informed decision making is critical for survivors in managing their continued mental health and safety throughout their healing.”

Kristie Tse, psychotherapist and founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling, tells Yahoo Life that warnings should not only be presented at the movie, but also “positioned prominently in promotional materials, such as trailers and posters.”

In the absence of that, people have reported experiencing distress both during and after the film. Here’s what mental health experts say about preparing to see the movie, dealing with difficult scenes and decompressing after the fact.

How do I know if the movie is for me?

While It Ends With Us has been positioned as one of the summer’s most buzzworthy films, it isn’t for everyone. For survivors of abuse in particular, it’s important to be mindful of personal well-being when considering going to see it.

“The best way for survivors to prepare is to take a moment to check in with themselves and see if they are in an emotional and mental space to engage with content involving violence,” says Robinson. “Some examples of reasons to maybe lean away from engaging with content around violence would be if a survivor has had a difficult day, is earlier in their healing process or experiencing a setback in their healing. This will be different for each survivor of trauma, and trusting your own intuition is key here.”

Other steps can be taken if that person decides they feel comfortable checking the film out, like “planning to watch with a trusted friend or family member or scheduling a therapy session to process the emotions that might arise,” therapist Sandra Kushnir, founder of Meridian Counseling, tells Yahoo Life.

Seeing the movie can potentially do some good when it comes to feeling seen by the portrayal or exposing people to the realities of abuse, experts say. “This visibility can spark important conversations and foster empathy and understanding among different communities,” says Tse. “My work has shown me that when films reflect real-life struggles, they not only validate the experiences of survivors, but also educate wider audiences, ultimately contributing to societal change and healing.”

That being said, “it’s OK to decide that the film isn’t for you, and recognizing your emotional boundaries is a form of self-care,” says Kushnir.

Why might the movie be difficult to watch?

Whether a person is prepared for the movie’s storyline or not, exposure to domestic violence can be emotionally taxing.

“Hearing stories of domestic violence on the news or seeing violence depicted can be incredibly upsetting. Sometimes these events can cause a reaction that we are unable to understand or identify,” a spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) tells Yahoo Life.

One survivor wrote a first-person account of her experience seeing the movie, sharing that her “chest tightened” and she was sent into a flashback during one scene. According to NDVH, her response isn’t unusual — and other expected symptoms include elevated heartbeat, difficulty breathing, difficulty focusing or composing your thoughts, feelings of hopelessness, and memories or flashbacks of abuse you may have experienced or seen as signs of secondary trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“Reactions to a difficult or traumatic scene will look different for each individual and all reactions are valid,” says Robinson, adding that “it’s OK to walk away from any scene that elicits an emotional response.”

Having Lively and Baldoni as the leads can also contribute to discomfort, as some critics have noted. “Both are widely appreciated and relatable figures, which can create a dissonance for the audience when confronting such heavy themes. Their charm and charisma can draw viewers in, but this also risks romanticizing or trivializing the severe realities of domestic violence,” says Tse. “Seeing them in these roles might challenge audiences to confront the uncomfortable truth that anyone can be affected by such dynamics, urging a deeper reflection on their own experiences or beliefs.”

How to decompress after the film

Herbert noted that she and her mom exited the theater “sobbing,” while one user on X said she was “shaking” as she walked out. “It can be scary when you have those types of experiences,” says the NDVH representative. “That’s why it is important to have self-care practices that you can do to help soothe yourself.”

The practices that NDVH suggests include:

• Minimizing triggers. “In our fast-paced world, stories of abuse and triggering photos can sometimes come out of nowhere. One thing that can help prevent these triggering moments is limiting the information that you see,” says the NDVH representative. This can be done through vetting social media accounts and muting those that often share sensitive content. In the case of the film, viewers can stay away from what those involved in the movie post about it.

• Trying a grounding exercise. Emotional reactions and memories of past abuse can be overwhelming and feel incredibly realistic. “Using grounding exercises can be a helpful way to bring yourself back to the present moment where you are safer and in a better place,” according to the hotline.

• Stepping away. Going on a walk or engaging in physical activity are ways to shift your focus away from troubling thoughts.

• Reaching out for help. “You may have a trusted family member or friend that you can talk to or perhaps you have been involved in a support group for victims and survivors of domestic violence,” says the NDVH representative. The National Domestic Violence Hotline and RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline are also available 24/7 for additional support.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Contact RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) and online.rainn.org.

For anyone affected by abuse and needing support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233), or if you’re unable to speak safely, you can log on to thehotline.org or text “START” to 88788.