Jenna Bush Hager says her kids 'will not be having social media or their own phones until 8th grade'

Welcome to So Mini Ways, Yahoo Life's parenting series on the joys and challenges of child-rearing.

A big part of parenting is setting boundaries and rules for your kids. As Jenna Bush Hager has come to find out, it also means trying — usually in vain — to get the grandparents to follow those boundaries and rules, too.

"When they get up when they're with my parents on vacation, at like 5 in the morning, they sneak into their rooms and they can watch whatever they want on my parents' iPads," the Today with Hoda & Jenna co-host tells Yahoo Life when asked about how her parents, former President George W. Bush and former FLOTUS Laura Bush, indulge her three kids. "And I'm like, 'That's not a rule here!' But also, at like 2 months, my mom fed our kids ice cream. And I was like, 'You're not gonna have to change that diaper, you know?'"

Grandparents aside, the TV personality and her husband, Henry Hager, are otherwise "very strict about technology" when it comes to their kids, 9-year-old Mila, 7-year-old Poppy and 3-year-old Hal. Using devices for "learning purposes" — like, say, homework or to read a downloadable story like the free children's e-book, The Wonderful World of Blue, she's just collaborated on with Dawn — is OK, but anything else is off-limits.

"They will not be having social media or their own phones until eighth grade," says Hager, noting that co-host Hoda Kotb is similarly minded on the topic. "I think technology can be incredible for learning and for growing, but I also just want to keep my kids as young as possible for as long as possible."

Hager can be tough on technology, but the former first daughter says she's "also kind of the embarrassing mom who likes to use humor to make situations a little bit chiller." That might mean throwing a dance party for her kids, or bonding over a book (from oldest to youngest, her kids' current favorites are Harry Potter, The Tale of Despereaux and her own The Wonderful World of Blue. As a former reading teacher and the daughter of a librarian — not to mention the granddaughter of former first lady Barbara Bush, who, Hager notes, had a pillow that read "Reading is sexy" on her couch — the founder of the "Read With Jenna" book club sees modeling a love of literacy as hugely important.

"My husband and I read every single night," says Hager, noting that since starting her book club "all I do is read." "So that's what my kids see — they see us in bed reading, and so it's something they want to do too."

Given her love of reading, it pains her to see an uptick in efforts to ban books in the United States.

"I don't like it. I mean, this is America," she says. "I feel like banning books is not something I'm for at all. I think teachers and librarians are able to recommend the appropriate age-level books for kids. That's what they do so well, and we have the best librarians in this country — and I'm not just saying that because my mom [was a librarian]. ... [As a former teacher] that's what you're armed to do. You're armed to say, 'Oh my gosh, you love to read about this? This is the perfect book for you.' And so yeah, I'm not one into banning books."

When it comes to her own writing, Hager says her kids are handy at gauging when her story is on the right track; "if Hal Hager, age 3, is into it, then that's a good test subject," she jokes. The Wonderful World of Blue, which she also reads as an audiobook, is a particularly special book project given its message about the importance of protecting wildlife. Dawn is releasing the book in celebration of its 50th anniversary this month and its long-standing partnerships with International Bird Rescue and The Marine Mammal Center.

"I'm super-excited to be partnering with Dawn to publish this book that's for every kid," says Hager. "The Wonderful World of Blue is all about how kids like my kids can be wildlife superheroes. In a world where we know we need to stand up and do something for our beautiful planet, I want kids to know through this book that they can be heroes. Kids can do incredible things."

As someone who grew up going to the national parks with her family and seeing Laura Bush's passion for birding, Hager wants her own kids to feel "empowered" with tips and tools to enjoy and protect nature. She also credits her upbringing with nurturing the relationships between her children.

"I think having a twin has been everything," says Hager, whose fraternal twin sister, Barbara Bush Coyne, welcomed her first child last year. "We don't know the world without each other. We realize how important that shared history was and having a partner to hold hands with when we [experienced] kind of extraordinarily strange things as young kids. It makes me realize what a precious gift sibling-hood is. You know, I tell my kids all the time that having a sister or a brother is going to be the best gift that I could ever give them. Sometimes they see it and sometimes they don't. ... Again, modeling is the most important thing we can do as parents, and they see how close Barbara and I are. So I'm just hoping we're passing that legacy of loving your sisters and loving your siblings onto them."

It's husband Henry Hager, whom she wed in 2008, who is the author's biggest partner in life right now. Noting the importance of "moms [needing] dads to be equal partners," Hager calls her spouse a "hands-on" parent who helped her weather the chaos of filming a morning show from home amid the pandemic.

"My husband is incredible," she says. "[During the pandemic] we were both working from home. I was doing the Today Show from my kitchen. We had no childcare and three kids; our youngest was 6 months. And he told his boss, 'Jenna has to do the show. I'm gonna get my kids on Zoom school and then I'll start my day.' And I just think that says everything about him."

Hager is now back in the studio. When she's working, she relies on help from others to get the kids out the door.

"I'm juggling both work and parenting and I think they know — I hope they would know — that they're the most part of my day and of my life, but I also have a job that I adore," she says. "I also want them to know that you can do both. That doesn't always look perfect, or even good, but I want them to know that you can have a career that fulfills you and you can also love the kids that you have. And so, yeah, I'm not with them in the mornings, but our evenings are pretty cool."

So cool, in fact, that Hager struggles to name a particular parenting challenge that's stressing her out at the moment. Her "kind and empathetic" kids are in a "good stage right now."

"I should knock on wood because I know that's going to change," she adds. "Everybody's potty-trained, Everybody's sleeping through the night. ... Ask me next week and I'm sure there'll be something."

—Video produced by Olivia Schneider.

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