Jeremy Renner Is Always Ready For a Nap

As the proud parent of a tween, the actor replenishes his emotional energy often.

"Hawkeye" can take a back seat. For Jeremy Renner, being a father is the greatest role he’s ever played. “If I didn’t have my daughter, Ava, I don’t know who I would be—probably somebody I don’t like,” The Avengers actor tells me while promoting his partnership with Silk. “She’s my sunrise, my sunset, my North Star.”

The 11-year-old, who he shares with ex-wife Sonni Pacheco, is also the reason he was able to recover from his near-fatal snow plow accident last year. In the midst of that journey, he taught her the power of resilience, something I am trying to instill in my own girls. But as Jeremy tells me, it takes emotional energy to parent tweens. Considering everything he’s been through, he’s more than willing to put in the work…as long as he can take a snooze every once in a while!

You and your daughter seem tight. We all got a glimpse of your relationship during the Super Bowl commercial you did together for Silk. What’s the secret to maintaining a strong bond?

The ability to take a nap. That’s when you get a moment of alone time, which, as a single parent, is almost impossible. My daughter’s 11 years old. So I need emotional energy to keep up with her. Now that she’s older there is a lot more communication involved. At this point, I’m here to guide and inspire her. I try to keep her accountable and responsible, and have her do more grown-up things. I used to be her driver, her chef. Now I’m teaching her different things to cook in the kitchen and how to take care of herself but also be mindful of others.  

That’s something you probably learned as one of seven siblings.

I had a 10-year difference with my siblings and it really fortified a lot of the nurturing qualities I have. I got to be part of my sister being born, and then when my other sister had a kid, I was part of that process, too. I certainly was very prepared for when I had my child at 42 years old. Still, I don’t think anything ultimately prepares you for being responsible for another human being. When your mission is to look after somebody else, it frees you from your own ego and the things that you thought were important. It’s a wonderful thing. 

It is. But balancing parenthood with everything else can feel overwhelming at times. How do you find joy when life gets stressful?

I don’t have a bad day anymore. I got pushed to the limits of life and [almost] to my death, and so I find solace in my next breath and my next step. I have a lot of support, and I nurture and work on the relationships I have to garner that kind of support in life. As any parent knows, it takes a village. I think it’s very important to build one. You’re going to need many, many people—a cool uncle, a strong aunt—so that your kids have other voices in their lives that will be important to them and their perspectives. You can’t do it all for your kids 100 percent of the time. As much as we want to, we can't. 

I know I can use the reminder. Did your recovery from the accident reinforce this lesson?

Well, heck, I became the kid for the first six months; my daughter had to take care of me, and there was something quite beautiful in that role reversal. She had to grow up in a lot of ways.

I overcame a lot of obstacles and got to show my daughter what resilience means by going through this journey with me. 

Has it changed you as a dad?

I really understand my place as her father. It is my duty to teach her how to love, how to be strong, how to overcome. Leading by example has always been important to me. That’s only amplified. My love is deeper, my conversations with my daughter are more adult. I now struggle to find the fun, goofy dad version that I was when she was 4 or 8. I have a harder time with that because I’ve been through some physical struggles. I just struggle to find the energy to be the jungle gym dad. But she’s 11. Maybe I don’t need to.

A Final Thought

I can relate! At 11 years old, my daughter Eva is maturing faster than I sometimes realize. While she’ll always be my baby, I can already see glimpses of the woman she’s becoming. And even more amazing, she is aware of the woman that I am. This new understanding has deepened our connection in ways I never imagined. Just recently, when her little sister asked me to make her a different breakfast, Eva was quick to stop me. “You do too much,” she said. Those three words stuck with me and remind me every day to slow down. How has your relationship with your kid shifted as they’ve gotten older?

Until next time,

Grace

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