Jessica Biel says taking time for self-care has made her 'such a better mom': 'I have witnessed myself when I haven't made it a priority'
Welcome to So Mini Ways, Yahoo Life's parenting series on the joys and challenges of childrearing.
Back-to-school season presents plenty of challenges that families just don’t have to think about during the summer. And that’s something Jessica Biel says she’s absolutely experiencing in the ramp-up to her oldest son Silas’s return to class. And one of the most stressful conundrums is figuring out what to pack the 8-year-old for lunch.
“I was just griping to my friends and family and even on my social media, like, ‘What am I going to do about lunches? How am I going to handle this?’” admits Biel. “It's so chaotic, the first couple of weeks of school, and it's stressful. Your kids are feeling the stress, and you're feeling the stress, and all you want to do is be on your game and be like one step ahead.”
It’s for that reason that she was inspired to partner with DoorDash to create Grab & Go Bento, bento-inspired lunches for stressed parents. The lunches were such a success that they sold out quickly, but the app is also touting their convenient grocery delivery, which makes it easy to stock up on groceries for the week or refresh what’s running out.
The way the app can simplify meal prep is particularly useful to Biel as she strives to find balanced breakfasts and lunches for her boys. “If I don't ask [my son what he wants to eat, he] comes back and says, ‘You didn't tell me what I was gonna have in my lunch,’” she shares. “So, he feels surprised by what I've put in there. Even though I think, ‘Oh, these are his favorite things. He'll love this.’ It's so funny. I feel like I can never win. I'm really all about trying to make my life a little bit simpler and trying to help other parents do the same just because I deeply know how hard it is.”
Biel adds that anything that takes the thinking out of creating balanced meals is “such an incredible help when you're trying to get back in your rhythm to get back into school.”
Getting back into that rhythm also involves transitioning her kids’ sleep schedule. “They’re used to sleeping in during the summer, having a bit more of a casual schedule,” says the Candy star. “Now, you have to make sure they get into bed a little bit earlier than they normally go to sleep, so they can have that full [night’s rest]. And then get them out, get them up and out and fed, and out the door on time. That is really stressful for me. I feel like that's one of the hardest parts.”
One of the most joyful parts, however, is connecting with her sons through food. “I really love cooking with my little one [Phineas, who is 3],” says the proud mom. “He's excited about flipping things on the skillet and mixing. We do a lot of mixing pancakes, cracking eggs into the bowl, putting all the ingredients into making something fun that we can flip. He's into the flip and the mix. And he's got a cool little kitchen ladder so he can safely stand at a good level.”
And Biel loves eating with Silas. “He and I are pasta people,” notes Biel. “He and I like to sit down and have a bolognese together. I feel like he's maybe a foodie at this moment in his life. Obviously, the little one is still like eating beige food all the time. So I'm having more fun eating with my older one and exploring different flavors.”
The mom of two has also been reveling in watching her boys grow closer as brothers. “They're five years apart, so they live two very separate lives,” she explains. “Now, as they're getting a little bit older, they're playing together. My older one has a little bit more patience to play with the little one in the way he wants to play. And then the little one just wants to do whatever Silas is doing. And yesterday, I saw that Silas was riding Phinny around on his back in the pool, like he was a dolphin. They were just chatting and zooming around the pool. And it was so sweet to watch and to see that their bond will hopefully just get deeper and deeper.”
Summer break has presented the whole family with more opportunities to connect. “My older son went with my husband to take the little one to the dentist, and then he filmed him at the dentist,” shares Biel, who is married to singer Justin Timberlake. “He filmed all these little snippets of his teeth cleaning, which was really cute. My older one really is into film and cameras and so he was documenting this, and then we're showing Phinny like, ‘Look what a great job you did in the dentist chair! Look how wide you opened your mouth! Wow! Good for you!’ They would never get to be at each other's dentist appointments normally, because Silas would be at school, so it's really sweet.”
Although stressful moments, like figuring out Silas’s lunches, are sure to continually pop up, Biel recognizes that it’s not worth getting too hung up on certain battles. “I’m sure, in a couple of years, they'll be eating better, and then, we will have bigger fish to fry,” she says. “If I could look back or tell any parent, [I’d say,] ‘Don't sweat the small stuff.’ If you’ve got something big to deal with, that's one thing. But if they miss some meals or don’t have the most balanced meals all the time, they're going to be OK. And you can find the joy and the playfulness and the fun in so many different ways if you look hard enough and just get out of your adult brain.”
She’s similarly striving to be more patient with Phinny, who “all of a sudden has all these really specific things that need to happen.”
“He's got all these different things he likes to do [before bed], like set up the animals, and he's got to have the blanket a certain way,” explains Biel. “Even when I do the things that he's asking, they're still not right, and I'm like, ‘What? I don't know how to help you.’ So funny. He's just his own person. He’s just trying to find control in his life, and I’m learning that I could be a little bit more sensitive and compassionate to that.”
And as she works through everyday parenting concerns, Biel is dedicated to taking time to tend to her own well-being. “I am a huge proponent of self-care,” she says. “I have witnessed myself when I haven't made it a priority ... I don't think it's ever a priority necessarily for working parents or caregivers, but it has to be somewhere up there on the list.”
For Biel self-care looks like therapy, meditation and exercise — all of which she says is “hugely beneficial.” “That's how I find my balance and release stress,” she notes. “I love to move my body and that is my go-to. I just know that I'm such a better mom, partner, individual, human, woman, person, if I do give myself a little time.”
That said, it’s no surprise Biel is passionate about anything that makes life a bit easier for anyone raising a little one, sharing, “[What] I really want for every caregiver and every parent in the world [is to] just have a bit of that time — whenever you can find it.”
Wellness, parenting, body image, and more: Get to know the who behind the hoo with Yahoo Life’s newsletter. Sign up here.
