Jessie J opens up about the grief she feels following her miscarriage: 'Connecting is key'
Jessie J is opening up about the struggle to achieve her dream of parenthood, less than a year after suffering a miscarriage.
The “Domino” singer, 35, took to Instagram on Friday to share a photo of herself alongside a message about her pregnancy loss.
“When I was 16 years old I wrote a list of things I wanted by the time I was 30. 1st thing on the list was to be a Mum,” she wrote. “Now I’m nearly 35 and some days the grief of losing a baby and it not being easy to have one, and wanting my life in that way to look completely different to what it looks like right now just overwhelms me.”
The artist added that while she acknowledges it is “healthy and normal” to have days of “sadness” and to “honor” those feelings, it can still be a challenge.
“The bad isn’t often at all and yes I could go through this moment right now today alone in private and usually do, but today I am here,” she explained. “Because I know thousands of people around the [world] feel just like I do. Maybe you read this and feel the love I have for you. I hope you can. Connecting is key. Hugging you all.”
Some of the singer’s followers reached out to her with their own stories. One wrote, “From one baby loss Mama to another (June 2018 & July 2022 ) with fertility issues... I hear you, I see you and I have your back. Don't feel you have to hide your pain; every time someone opens up about baby loss it's another person breaking the taboo that keeps so many women and so many couples grieving for their little one(s) in silence. Your baby was wanted, your baby was loved, your baby existed.”
Another added, “I know how the grief feels and sometimes it’s unbearable. It’s a different type of grief and it’s so powerful. Thank you for speaking up about a topic that is hardly ever spoke about, loads of us go through it but we always feel so alone when we do.”
In December 2021, Jessie went on Instagram and shared that she had miscarried just hours before she was set to go onstage at a concert in Los Angeles.
“To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again,” she explained in the since-deleted post. “I'm still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be OK. I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.”
In a March interview on Michelle Visage’s podcast Rule Breakers, the Grammy nominee shared that she was happy to have experienced pregnancy, as she was told she would likely never conceive at all.
"I was told that I would never [conceive] and so for me to even experience the morning sickness and all of that ... could make me cry with happiness, just that I got to do that,” she said at the time.
She added that she is “100%” hoping to become a mom soon.
“For sure in the next two years I want to have a baby. If I can,” she said. “Whichever way it happens: naturally, surrogate, IVF, adopted, whatever — I’m open."
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