Kids need to know proper etiquette for talking on the phone | THE MOM STOP

Talking to someone on a phone has always been second nature to me.

When I was 13, my mother got a separate “children’s line” so that I had a private landline phone number in my room. And although I had my friends and family members’ phone numbers written down in an address book, I had most of them memorized.

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I specifically remember when, as a freshman in college, I was quickly schooled by the father of a new friend. When I called, he told me that I could not speak to my friend until I used better phone etiquette. I wasn't sure what that meant, since I called other friends and never had an issue. This new friend’s father instructed me that when calling I was supposed to say “Hello, Mr. Keenum, this is Lydia. May I speak to Janna, please?”

At first, I bristled at the requirement, but I quickly grew accustomed to using my manners on the phone. Just as I learned to make sure I said “Yes, sir” or “No, ma'am” when talking to adults. While my parents and my grandparents instilled manners early — especially table manners — I’m not sure phone etiquette was stressed.

Thirty years later, that lesson in phone etiquette from Mr. Keenum flashed back when I realized my 15-year-old had anxiety about calling a customer service number while we were on vacation. The request was simple: I needed her to call the front desk and ask them to bring up some extra bedding.

And while I know my daughter can easily talk on the phone to her peers, since she does it often enough on her cellphone, the idea of calling a stranger and having to make a request was paralyzing. Admittedly, I didn’t handle the situation well, since it seemed like a simple request. I had a hard time understanding how talking to a stranger on the phone could be so stress-inducing.

But I’m also someone who has made a career of cold-calling people I don’t know for interviews, or to get information. While I also talked to my friends on the phone for hours as a teenager, I think for adults in their late 30s and older the use of a phone was different, before cellphones or social media.

Now, teenagers depend on texting to communicate so much more. Seemingly antiquated skills like talking on a landline to a stranger can be scary, I suppose, if you’ve never done it before. That's especially true if you are shy or an introvert.

I tried to explain to my daughter the importance of being able to talk to strangers, whether it’s on the phone or face-to-face. I explained how it’s not just a life skill, but a necessary one for so many careers. From customer service to sales, knowing how to talk can be vital. Eye contact and seemingly simple people skills are lacking, these days.

But just as I’m teaching my daughter how to drive, I’ve decided to keep a mental list of other important “life lessons” my kids need to learn, including phone call etiquette, writing thank-you notes, keeping eye contact with strangers, how to give a confident handshake and how to do well in a job interview.

Some skills may come as my kids have their first part-time jobs. But there are plenty of skills that parents need to make sure they are teaching kids, skills that may have seemed second nature to us, because we grew up when we did.

Now when it comes to how to change a tire or tie a necktie, my husband is going to have to teach those lessons.

But for now, I think I’ll start having all three of my kids make phone calls more often.

Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News. Reach her at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Talk to your teen: Cellphone manners still matter | THE MOM STOP