Kids may consider their favorite YouTube stars to be friends. Here's why — and what parents should watch out for.

Ariel Johnson’s 5-year-old son’s name is Cason, but that’s not what he’ll tell you. To his teacher, his classmates, his friends and anyone he meets, he introduces himself as “Axel.”

“He makes everyone call him that,” shares the Florida mom. “He picks out his clothes each day to dress like him. He wants an Axel birthday party this year. He’s obsessed.” Axel is the titular star of the YouTube channel the Axel Show, in which the boy and his father, Patrick South, share their daily adventures. Everything from Lego monster truck rallies and backyard Nerf battles to pregnancy announcements from Axel’s parents are shared with their more than 1.37 million subscribers (and a new slew of Amazon Prime Video viewers after a recent streaming deal).

A quick scan of the show’s YouTube comments reveal that some viewers see it as more than entertainment. “[My daughter’s] constantly trying to ‘be like Axel’ at every moment of the day,” one commenter shares, while another hails South as a “really great male figure” for her son, whose own dad isn’t as involved.

Just like grown-ups, kids are capable of forming one-sided parasocial attachments in which they feel close to someone they’ve never met. That’s especially true when, unlike a fictional character like Elmo or Peppa Pig, the object of their fandom is an actual kid, like Axel, Ryan of Ryan’s World fame or other popular YouTubers whose everyday routines they can keep up with or even “meet” via Cameo Kids. The question is, should parents be wary of their children being fixated on children’s entertainers they see as peers or even friends?

What to know about kids and parasocial relationships

“Parasocial relationships are not problematic in and of themselves,” explains media psychologist Pamela Rutledge. “However, kids may be desirous or jealous of the world they appear to inhabit. Younger children may have a tendency to think the shows are real, so providing context, reinforcing positive messages and exploring less than positive ones by being factual rather than critical is important.”

Texas mom Shannon Ferguson has seen firsthand how kids can envy the YouTubers they’re watching. “My twin boys regularly ask to go over to Ryan’s house to play,” she says in reference to the young toy reviewer who has inspired his own merchandise, a video game and multiple TV series. “They constantly ask me why I’m not more like Ryan’s mom.”

This, explains Rutledge, is where parental discussions are key. “YouTube personalities can be very persuasive in relation to consumption and social behaviors without context,” she tells Yahoo Life. “Kids can get a skewed idea of what it means to be successful, philanthropic or a good friend.”

When a kid is “emotionally connected” to a personality, she adds, they tend to be “more accepting” of everything they do — even if it’s behavior a parent might object to. “It’s OK to like an influencer and it’s OK to enjoy their shows, but kids may need to be reminded that YouTube isn’t real even if it looks like it is, and that just because Ryan sprays whipped cream on the table or wants a toy [Lamborghini], doesn’t mean it’s OK for your child,” Rutledge says.

What should parents watch for?

Parents can look for several warning signs to tell if a parasocial relationship has grown unhealthy. One is if a child invests a lot of time following an influencer’s content and activities at the exclusion of other shows and activities. Parents might also feel like their kid is overinvesting in a YouTuber if they fixate on any products they’re promoting, or pick up certain behaviors based on what they’re watching. Another red flag: If they have an extreme emotional reaction to an influencer’s life events. “We all cry at the end of sad stories,” says Rutledge, “but children should not be worried about the influencer outside of media consumption.”

Parents should also consider if a parasocial relationship has come at the expense of other friendships. A lonely child, for instance, might seek out a parasocial relationship to “feel less alone,” says Rutledge, in which case it’s important for parents to step in and get at the root of the problem. “Adding positive offline social encounters,” she adds, can help the child form more meaningful bonds.

Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World, suggests looking at the child’s social interactions as a whole. “Is this relationship replacing in-person relationships? Does the child seem incapable of interacting with kids who may disagree with them? Do they seem unable to collaborate?” she says. That may be why your child prefers befriending, so to speak, someone who can’t actually challenge them.

Do you have to cut them off?

“As long as your child is also able to relate to people in their actual life at school or neighborhood or in the community, enjoying a parasocial relationship does not seem harmful,” says Heitner. And even then, she explains, it’s not time to outlaw the show or personality. Instead, she recommends having a conversation to dig a little deeper.

“Ask your child about why they may like the character,” suggests Heitner. “What is it about them that is interesting to them?” Whether the personality is fictional or real, parents can discuss with kids what positive traits they might want to emulate. For Axel, that might be a spirit of adventure and creativity. Similarly, what “less desirable” traits has the child observed in their favorite entertainer? Is Peppa too whiny, or does a YouTube star play too rough with his brother? Talk it out and ask your child what they might do differently.

Rutledge agrees that banning a show outright can lead to turmoil. If a parent is concerned that their kid is spending too much time engaging with these entertainers, or prefers them to focus on in-person friendships, a gradual approach is probably best.

“Wean the watching time, and make sure you have other activities for the child to engage in to fill that time,” she suggests. “The loss of the influencer who feels like a friend can be profound, but if you say, ‘Let’s go to the park and play with a friend,’ then you are shifting a behavioral pattern to something positive.”