"It's Just Rude": 13 Men Shared The Red Flag Behaviors They Won't Put Up With In A Date, And It's So Honest
Have you ever been in a relationship where someone did something that made you end the partnership? Well, when Reddit user u/GerrardSlippedHahaha asked: "Men, what is a deal-breaker for you in modern dating?" over 3,000 men provided their input. Here's what they had to say below:
1."If my date is rude to anyone in the service industry, there won't be another date. That shit tells me exactly who you are."
2."Dishonesty is my main one. If you can't trust them, then there's no reason to even date them because you're always going to worry about what they're doing when they're not with you."
3."This sounds dumb, but if she's not into me, I'm not interested. If she plays hard to get, I'm done. I'm not playing the games anymore. You'd be surprised how often a woman has SAID she was into me, but won't do anything at all to act like she is."
"Genuinely curious, without judgment, what would that need to look like from someone to provide proof? No wrong answers, just curious."
"Oh, anything, really. Texting me first is one I've used as a measure. I usually text people first if I want to talk to them. Even if it's about nothing. But never calling or texting me ever? Kinda shows you're not interested. My best friend is a walled-off, quiet man with the weight of the world constantly on his shoulders, but he still will text me occasionally first to see if I want to hang out. I can't be the only one trying to keep a relationship of any kind alive.
Another one could be initiating some sort of anything. Here's a very small gift, I was thinking about you. Here, let me take YOU on a date that's not your birthday and not complain about it. Hey, let me hold your hand, it looks heavy (or some sort of flirting uninitiated). I can vibe with most love languages, to be honest. The only one I don't totally get is someone straight-faced monotone: 'Mmm, yeah, I think I'm interested in you.' And that being it."
4."Lack of empathy or compassion."
"This is what killed my 23-year marriage. Her lack of compassion and empathy for anyone other than herself was shocking and heartbreaking. It wasn’t always like that — it just slowly developed like a Polaroid over time."
5."If their humor is just making fun of me or other people. How do you think degrading the person you're interested in is a good idea?"
6."Not resolving past trauma and applying it to future relationships. You’re just going to repeat whatever hurt you went through in the first place."
"Pattern recognition is a thing — but you're right. If someone reminds you of someone who traumatized you in the past, you should cut them out of your life immediately, not try to keep them around, because you're right. They actually are doing the same thing, and someone telling you you're wrong about that is trying to get you to ignore your instincts."
7."Inability to say sorry or own up to their mistakes. Flakyness."
"This is true for friends, girlfriends, colleagues, everyone. I can't stand when people avoid responsibility, never say sorry, or even thank you."
8."Wanting to continue living as though they're single but still have the emotional fulfillment of a relationship."
9."Social media. I don't want every waking moment of my relationship plastered on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I dated one woman for a year who didn't have a smartphone, didn't have internet at her house, and didn't even own a TV. It was surprisingly nice. Honest. When we spent time together, we spent our time together."
10."Height preferences on dating profiles/bios. It's just rude. I can't help being 5'7; I have been this height for ages. I get preferences and stuff, but seeing 'if you're under 6 feet, don't bother' on the regular is a bit of a downer."
11."Right now, I'd say a kid. Nothing against having them and I'd like some of my own someday, I'm just not ready to be a step-dad."
12."General punctuality, though, this is a state with friends, too. If you're going to be late, let me know when you know. If you live 30 minutes away and text me you are leaving five minutes before we are due to meet, you knew you were going to be late 25 minutes ago. It's a small thing but I've known people like that, and I've waited in the cold enough."
13."Not having any goals other than having fun. My ex just lived to 'go out' every night with her friends. No future there, and had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (and her ex-boyfriend after a few drinks one night). That was a clusterfuck of chaos that I'm glad to be free from."
If you identify as a man, tell us the deal-breaker you absolutely will not tolerate when it comes to dating in the comments below.